what did that mean?
when she gave it to him corporate
policy had relaxed its dress code
as a matter of fact during that particular all-employee meeting when the
new exec concluded his remarks he asked the assembly if there were any
questions
he purposefully took a seat in the front
row before the rostrum as he always did so no exec or whomever they gathered to
hear could miss his raised hand(he took noteshe always had questions when realising early
on during his employment that no one else did
or would he graciously assumed it
was because their hands were occupied with free cookies or donuts and cups of
coffee) he also sat in the front row so that
none of his coworkers would miss him raising his hand either(trying subtly to cajole
them nope)
they seemed content doing what they were told to do
he wasnt discontented rather things were often vaguely explained(intentionally he was sure) and he wouldnt be satisfied
until he asked for clarifications which
he again
subtly couched in a feigned confusiona niggling
fear that he might possibly be derelict of his assigned(self-assigned) tasks and
obligations(also self-assigned – he didnt wait around for those above him to
see things as he did – he and his actions confounded them -- his personnel jacket
had amassed repeated references that he was a bane belligerent
then to his detractors credit they also assessed he was thorough reasoned
efficient and incorrigible(they were mistaken on that account he was incorruptible))
the exec acknowledged him
he thanked him for addressing the
team complimented the precision of his
commentstheir point-by-point reasons and necessity there was only one thing however he wanted
to know if the exec could get behind
the exec thanked him for his kind
words and asked what that might be
Could you he asked alter policy
so that I and others can wear jeans as you doseeing how youre the companys
public figurehead Significantly he added
most of our employees work behind the scenes and are invisible to the public
ever since she gave it to him he
carried it at his right hip in the watchpocket of his Levis
it was a small buffalo carved of
bone
they hadnt know each other long
or well enough that he could have shared that his totem animal was a buffalo let alone that she would know he even
believed in totem animals
yet somehow she knew
she said she knewshe could feel a
buffalo inside of him The dominant part of my lineage my ancestry is First
People My great grandmother on my fathers side is on the Dawes Roll Were Choctaw
he knew of the Dawes Roll it listed those people who were accepted
as members of the Choctaw Cherokee Creek Chickasaw and Seminole
the buffalo made his heart was bright
not too long afterwards they
mutually agreed to have an exclusive relationship
what did that mean? meant why was
he occasionally forgetting his bone buffalo at home not placing it in his watchpocket when
leaving the house essentially taking her
with him holding her affections close tangible
he had worn it smooth darkened its colour
with the oil from his skin
what that meant was he was
going to have to take a long hard honest look
he wasnt up for it right now
he struggled with his siblings
cancers he was emotionally stretched
thin
it wouldnt be fair to either of
them if he didnt deliberate this sudden on-occasion forgetfulness unencumbered
after his wife died he didnt date
for many years choosing not to date until
he felt confident he wouldnt stand that person up beside his dead wife compare them
it is hard to compete with
someone who is dead physically intangible let alone played vividly in his memory
and imagination
she told him Sometimes when you talk about your wife you
talk of her as if she were still alive
Well my love no one is truly dead until they are not spoken
of unremembered
I cant kill my memories
Only
my death can do that
eventually hed learn what that
meant
1402, Monday.
6 11. 17
0936, Day-between-Two-Ts, 8 11.
17
