15.7.17




he looked over the edge of his pint before taking a sip and mumbled  So whayawan done with your remains

it was the first(actually the fourth today) pint he had with him in nearly twentyfive years  circumstances prevailed  he called the mans wife a cunt  if someone had called his wife a cunt they wouldntve been talking for their broken jaw anif breaking his jaw a cop was called then the man and the wife were both cunts and he never wouldve had the beers he was having with him now

as it was then he only protested that he called his wife a cunt 

it never went furthur than that

he had to know to who he was married



My remains  Over beers youre asking me what I want done with my remains

Fuck Whynot   Its not like itd be picking your dirty socks up off the floor where you left them before you diedBrowne said . .
. . Not Browne again  Is he an obsession

He isntId not be invoking his name if I hadnt read an article in the Guardianthen read of him again in four successive books I randomly picked up his name ascribed in fiction and nonfiction

He said  To be gnawed out of our graves, to have our skulls  he spelled it s-c-u-l-s  have our skulls made drinking bowls and our bones turned into pipes are tragicall two ls  tragicall abominations

Are you into me sipping beer from your skull  Cuz I wouldyou know me  Id use a knife that murdered someone to cut my steak  Its utilitythe knifes a tool  nothing morefuckin aint evil

Weird  Unfortunate perhaps but I do know that of you  despite the years we havent talked or spent time

Yah  Im wanting to catch up before your dead
Me dead  Not you first
Fuck no  You got four years on me as it isyoure on meds Im not knock on wood he rapped his scul with his knuckles   Theres thatyah

Yes  There is that

An I dont think youre real happy in your new marriageHow long was it between Karlys death an your marriage to Katiean whats with the fucking K-thing Krist!spelled K-R-I-S-T

Theres no thing 

Don answer the second question first  How long afterwards did youas Katie says made her an offer she couldnt refusewhich is pretty fuckin cute an I hate using the word cute  How long was it so you don get swept away in the verbiageI spew when Im drunk an why it was nicea good idea to walk over here so we can weave back  How long to tie the nooses knotnot that a marriage is a nooseI married   You dated Katie within months of Karlys deathright


My god you can suck the air out of a room

Diversion Misdirection  Stay on point  Though laterif you like we can discuss sucking Some goodlookin women in here Surprisingly  Or not  Or mebbe cuz when Im here by myself Im either watching football hockey or writing or reading


You really want to know

I aint makin conversationyakkin to yak


I dated Katie three months after Karly died  We married ten months later but that said we knew each other before . .
. . In high school

Yes

High school aint knowing  High schools learning brother

                                             How long were you and Karly marriednearly said marred

We were married for thirtytwo years

You married when you were thirty 

Yes

Fucking discernineh

I dont following

Fuckin blindneed a dog  My point ismy point is  thirty years to marry Karly  Thirteen months to marry Katie   Whawas the rush  She came out of a bad marriagedidnt she

She divorced  He . .
. . Save he  I understand you wannabe sympathetic or pathetic  but it takes two to tango  Yacan never hang a divorce on one person  Divorce is exactly marriage except a marriage crumblingcoming unglued

Your point

My point is you opting for inhumation or cremation

What

I never when off point  InhumationI dig it  Or cremation

Inhumation

Inhumation Burialltwo ls  Browne
                           Reminds me of inhalation  Chopping scratching a line with a razor blade on glass and snorting  Hence scratching a hole in the earth and burying a body
                                                     Or would you be more comfortable – which is rich – youre dead – more comfortable – the best I can imagine and it wouldnt be worth the paper its written on – youre turfed  then possibly turfed later
                  Anyway to finish my wandering thoughts  or would you be more comfortable laid in the open air  weathered and reduced by carrioneaters insects and the elements


Why are we talking about this  Over beers

Whynot  Youve already got a foot in the grave  an youre leaning

Not necessarily
NO   
    But youre tilted more than me  Okay
The hell with this line of conversation lets talk about tattoos  Yathink inscriptions on ones body empowers them  helps form or reforms an individual

Why are we talking about this

If ya look over your shoulder youll see a portly woman stroking a mansthink her mans ponytail  She squeezes it tightevidently enjoying its girth and length  Like its his cock or wannabe cock hanging off the back of his head  Dreds  Cocks  Medusa  Not snakes twining over her brow or serpents Cocks  Looking at cocks ya turn ta stone

he looked uncomfortable


Krist K-R-I-S-T   You got problems with homoerotica tooWhars it end   Its probably a good thing we havent had a beer in twentyfive years   



1525,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  12  7. 17
1731,  Friday,  14  7. 17
2053,  Friday,  14  7. 17

14.7.17



Lost Horse beckons him

it has beckoned him since he first visited ithis girlfriend had moved to Montana and when they moved in together she took him around on weekends to show him the Bitterroot Valley where she spent summers as a girl

it was a far cry from where they met in Miami

Lost Horse rose like cream in his mind at odd times many times every year since he left HA  since he left his marksince he pissed off its edge into the confluence of two pale green valleys below as he looked into Idaho

before he finished pissingenjoying the freefall of his golden stream it quit fallinghung suspended reversed returned to him on a gust an updraftand before he could turn his back it spritzed himbaptized anointed him

then slowly turning aroundmaybe mortified dripping  he turned into the gale and glee and unrestrained laughter of his girlfriend who between gasps sputtered I told you not to

Im hilarioushuh

Ohmygoodness  Ive never seen anything so hilariousYou had no idea
I didnt
It makes sense now
Now  Now it does    After the fact 

she nodded her headwiped tears out of her eyes

Although   I think theres something even more hilarious

Huh 
    and barely did the huh escape her than he was on her wrapping her up in his besprinkled arms holding her to his chest kissing her neck and cheeks seeking her mouth

she struggled uselesslymaybe repulsed  maybe  until he found her mouth and kissed her hard and deeply  sharing his moisture

she relaxed relaxed 
              she kissed him back
their passions rose
they bruised their lips
he released hergrabbed her at the throat of her dress and stepping backyanking her bonebuttons gave away and scattered silently on the soft earth  he spun her around and pushed her forward against a boulder pulled the dress off her shouldersunsnapped her bra  he clutched her breastskissed the back of her head  she turned her headhe leaned over her shoulderthey kissedthey hungered  he pushed her on top of the boulderlifted her dressedtore off her soft cotton panties and took her and taking her the boulder thoughtfully rocked with his thrusts and rolled her back onto his cock rock and roll rock n rollrocknroll


when he was finally spent he helped her off the rock  held her tighttheir hearts beating like mad tomtoms
she noticed first
Look

looking he saw her breasts and belly and hips left damp darkened spots on the agesworn smooth rock temporarily imprinting it

she leaned back against his chesthe held her fast and they watched her sweat evaporate 
                                                                     and watching she could feel their moisture slip down the inside of her thighhe felt the last of himself dribble out the end of his cock onto his thigh

ever the unlikely sayunexpected humourist she turned in his arms to him and laughed A twist of Marleys Exodushuh and explained by breaking his binds and hooking her little finger she swabbed up a beetle from her thigh and offered it to him

Dont mind if I do
sheshrieked helapped her fingerhe boost her up again on top the boulderdefied her unhinged laughterher pitiful strugglesplit her legs apartwent to his knees and tongued and sucked on her as he sucked marrow out of bones



later  walking down from Lost Horse on a winding dirt trail to the car she said Youre quite indecent

he smiled  I think you quite enjoy my indecency

she chirped I do  I do . .
. . Youdowhat
I do I do  I do enjoy your indecency

                                                            
                              and later when they married  a small ecumenical ceremony in a small woodworked Presbyterian church on the banks of the Bitterroot River  her I Do to the reverends query and vow sounded very much like her I do as they walked down from Lost Horse 

he teased  he raised an eyebrow

she winked  she stamped it Gold with a quick beautiful smile  their private joke amid solemnity





Lost Horse

he was finally backhis wife had died many manytoo many years ago

their children flourished

he cherished their grandchildren for them

they flourished too

he cherished their great-grandchildren for them

now of his own volition he finally was returninganswering its beckoning

he told his family only that he was going to the Bitterroot

they worried it was a long drive

he said he wouldnt undertake it if he thought hed jeopardise other people

they finally conceded

which made him laugh 

he wasnt asking


the boulder was still therewhy wouldnt it be?

he laid his hand on top of it

he remembered where the cool damp spots were

he leaned over put his nose to the rock and smelled it

it smelled warmsmelled like the surrounding trees their needles the lodgepole larch Douglas-fir Subalpine-fir

it smelled wholesome

it smelled of horseapples  someone had ridden rode a horse up Lazy bastard he whispered


he walked over to the edge

he stood right beside his memory

his memory was readying to take a piss

   Dont do that she said
                     he turned ever so slightly
he saw her in her summer dress  over his shoulder he said Ah my love  I didnt listen to you then

before his memory could finish unbuttoning his pants he dove out into the clear cool air that percolated and swirled above the confluence of two pale green valleys below

   

conception  2036,  Saturday,  1  7. 17

Day-between-Two-Ts afternoon,  12  7. 17
1642,  Thursday,  13  7. 17
1254,  Friday,  14  7. 17