an opaque white drape hung flat creaseless in the massive foyer 

behind it shadows moved  blue bruises in slow motionsuspended  then they became diffuse  aerated   negligible   then absorbedenveloped in the dull unmoved sheen

he didnt know whose house it washe didnt have opulent friends or acquaintances

he hadnt planned anythingso what the hellhuh

Sure he said  Why not

he figured drinksthey said hors d'oeuvres definitely

Chic he said  JeezusChrist

wealthy 

      he hoped maybe they spent some of their money getting an education and could swing a good conversation

and while unattached  he had no intentions of playing up snatch(he teed up his vulgarity just in case  he might be expected to perform)

as he expected his jeans and black tshirt stood out against their glam and finery  his leather Indian bead bracelet was odd beside the worked gold and Rolexs

Damn  left his at home

he was never attracted to thisnever intimidated by it either

though some were  like moths to a flame

there was what he assumed was standard issue the naked young women in the enormous tiled pool filled with coolblue watersparkling 

he evaded some selfabsorbed braggarts taunting their birthright as some kind of achievement as he zigzagged cut broken field to the opulent bar

Please  A whiskey and soda neat  Hold the crystal

they used We consciously as if mindfucked

You say We  Youre referring to your elitewha   elite standing prerogative assumption What

I am referring to our attributes

                     a young woman her mouth ablaze in luminous cherryred lipstick said it bestor better than he ever heard before or since  Youre not rich enough not to have morals

to be fair  he offended her

she was angryaroused annoyed You sonofabitch

Ouch

she propositioned him in front of her husband  Id love to give you a blow job

No thanks

her husband grinning like a bobblehead Mexican papermache skull sat beside him Oh you should  Shes really quite good at it

A marvelous cocksucker

I should say

Though I should say  given your physical apearanceappeal  you may have had little to compare her against

he supposed he offended him too  he stood abruptly and left without excusing himself or saying goodbye

Youre an unfortunate man she said

Yes  It is my misfortune coming here thinking that I might possibly have a good timerelate and enjoy some unique conversations  Instead for your offering I could have stayed in the city and sought it outside an alleyway in a disreputable part of town  I dont know what I was thinking
Youll excuse me

Youre pathetic

Youre a rich cunt  But a cunt nonetheless You can tell your husband I said so in case he wants to stand up for you   Excuse me

he walked away leaving her crimson mouth quiet  but shaped in a perfect O

mebbe she did give great head

2022,  Friday,  19  5. 17
1430,  Sunday,  21  5. 17
1339 days remaining or fewer Russian buhbye

Unkle  Burn My Shadow (Repo Men)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZLDOVSg0vY

the ticks the drips the drabs  water spoiling to escape its hold

nothing is more insidious than water

following the path of least resistance interminably

one can take a lesson from opaque water look into it reflection contemplate its path its holding its stealth an escape by evaporation  if need be
particularly when youre confined most of the time withheld against your will


evaporate

         seek brotherhood sisterhood with the atmosphere thin air versus the dark substance of materialism

 
  

evening of May 7 2017,  Sunday

(watching James McAvoy in Split)

he was weeding  working the plants in his yard  watering them with a galvanized two gallon can

the weeding  it humoured him  it was no different than plucking the occasional grey hair out of his chest
and every time he did he found himself caught off guard by the queer hairlessness his American culture desiredits obsessive shaving waxing  bare skin  an unseemly obsession with impossible youth   children arent hirsute   he was struck that adults couldnt seem to accept their bodies

“. . when I became a man I put away childish things(Corinthians 13:11 KJV)” teased him

out loud he said Its called puberty  


it was the closest thing Americans had to a rite of passage

we werent compelled to kill a lion with a spearaspire to a vision questthere werent life- threatening challenges to attain our manhood or womanhood that other cultures once commended  

but then this culture wasnt of his choosing

he was embeddeda weed sown years ago and grown in their midsthis taproot was deep

he kept his head on a swivel looking out for arms that reached hands hoes weeders

that they didnt try to extract him surprised him(tables turned  he might have)

they simply flourished  grew up all around himtheir hairlessness tats piercings plugs
they spent scads of money identifying their uniqueness  although it seemed it was consumed by everyone elses until no one was anything more than just another tree in the forest  stereotyped  IDd

he was obvious for what he didnt have

unclothed then more obvious by his scars

they were as close as he was ever going to get to a tattoo

he took pride in them their origin and storiestheir unexpectedness




shoving liquor bottles on the counter towards him Wheres your tattoos man

No tattoos he repliedhe smiled I wouldnt have a tribe that would have me

nonplussed the man glared at him

quickly ringing up his order You havent heard that oneGroucho Marx

No I havent  No tattoos man

None

haltingly abruptly he paid his bill with crumpled cash Why wouldnt you have a tat 

They never appealed to me


You think Im unappealing

handing him his change looking him in the eye Definitely  Thank you for your business  then he looked pass him to the next customer
Man  Youre a freak

No I am not  You should take your purchaseyour nonplussed puss and leave the store
Wha Puss  Ya callin me a pussy

If you think nonplussed is pussy   Sure Why not  Please take your disconcertedness and go

Big words man

No Vocabulary  If I had a moment Id write them down for you so you could look em up in a dictionary

Fuck you man


So sorry Youre not my type

1504,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  17  5. 17

1340 days remaining or fewer Russian buhbye

David Bowie  Changes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8