White evangelical is just another name for whitey

trying to enhance whitey with the warm clearshiny lacquer of religion

he wasnt a Biblemonger or could recite scripture from memory . . . but he couldnt say in his reading of the Bible he remembered anywhere in it that the Bible referred to whiteness  or colour  or race

he could understand why they desperately wanted to read race into the Bible  though somehow they forgot or were amnesiac that Jesus of Nazareth born in the Middle East was brown(Coloured  he could prefer if he wanted although he didnt)  and a Jew   

therefore when a person calls themselves or allows themselves to be called a White evangelical  they accede to being a whitey 

they acknowledge their racism 

acknowledge they are a racist

when he introduced himself he did not say my name is white Joe

he said My name is Joe

he did not attach his birth race the utter happenstance of being born white in America to his name

My name is Joe

I only happened to be white

as all the things I happened to be before I could take control of my own way and destiny

more than once his parents said to him What are we supposed to tell people
What they must think about how we raised you

he smiled and spoke to them as if he were speaking to small children You tell them nothing  Give them my telephone number and if they call Ill gladly tell them myself although Ill be sorry I wont be able to tell them directly to their face  And regarding how you raised me  if you must  you tell them you tried to raise a thoughtful son and he has grown into thoughtful free-thinking young man who makes his own decisions and is utterly responsible for them

What are you afraid of

What are you afraid of

he asked his parents more than once

1214,  Thursday,  17  11. 16

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/11/09/exit-polls-show-white-evangelicals-voted-overwhelmingly-for-donald-trump/?tid=a_inl

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/11/09/why-some-fear-this-elections-lasting-damage-to-american-christianity/?tid=a_inl

he was a small man

but he seemed smaller fixed by an unseen weight he carried on his shoulders which tipped him forward and made him slide on his toes nearly imperceptibly stagger as he walked

I saw it I approached him to see if I could help to see if perhaps he wouldnt share his load with me

I wouldnt say so directly

I wouldnt presume he couldnt handle his weight

we knew each other professionally(but profession and private had bounds and I enforced mine)

Id seen his spirit slip

I shared levity with him

briefly he would lighten

though it did not stay his concern

and then from across the room later  I saw his weight bent him

after work I approached him and said I was going for a drink

if hed like to join me Id be happy to buy him one

he paused(I crossed my fingers)

he appeared he was going to turn me down   he looked at feet

then brightly in a waning moment more like the man I first met he said that my offer was thoughtful and yes hed like to have a drink with me

I immediately took him by the elbow Fine I said Itd be nice to take a little high into the weekend after the workweek

Yes he said I could do with a little high

Then to Black Sheep have you been there

No  I rarely go anywhere

Then were rare Gotta like that

at Black Sheep taking seats at the bar I told him to have whatever hed like

the barkeep came over

Hey Sam I said Ill never get over calling a woman Sam

she laughed gayly  warm

she leaned towards us Gents  What will you have

I leaned towards her as I always did I always made a point of admiring her ample bosom its gentle swell warm cleavage at the stitch of her lowcut blouse

David leaned back

Sam  David  David Sam  David tell Sam what youd like she knows what I wantDont you Sam

she may have blushed her nod and turn of head hiding it  David  Yours

he asked what was on tap

David  Come on man a drink You can always have a beer Take spirits

he insisted a beer was fine

Sam I said Seems I got a cheap date

she said

he said

she said to me Rusty Nail One rock

Ah Sam  You remembered  Ya make my heart smile among other things

she laughed blurted without her hand to her mouth  she lingered a moment jiggled naturally   then she turned away for our drinks

Shes a handsome woman isnt she David

Yes handsome Why handsome

Because her beauty isnt a typical feminine beauty Ive known only one other woman who possesses Sams attributes her physicality her brightness  Shes a fuckin candle

Have you two ever dated

Wow youre stoking me I appreciate that  No  Itd be inappropriate for me to ask

Is she seeing someoneInappropriate       

Seeing someone inappropriateWouldnt you like to see someone inappropriate  I dont know Ive never asked  Inappropriate  Our age difference

Horseshit

Christ out of the mouth of a cheap date  You make me feel good thank you  How can I help you feel good You wont flirt with Sam

No  Tall women dont like short men

Thats a fact isnt it

It is  he saw the expression in his face  And well not ask Sam to attest to itI am your guest

You are  Saw that cominghuh 

I did You take nothing for granted and if something can be tested verified you push for verification   I reiterate Im your guest

Yahyah  Correct  You are my guest though what I would give to be your height and walk smackdab face to breast into Sam  he fanned himself with a coaster emphatically

Youre more full of shit than I imagined

Yes  I am   Shit has its home with me

Sam set Davids schooner before him and with a sexy flourish(though anything she did was sexy) she set a double Rusty Nail before him My treat she said

Its double up yah

No baby the whole thing 

Baby

Sam smiled  You dont like baby

I like being your baby

You  love  being my baby

Sam  I love being your baby

Then shaddup . .

. . Or youll shut me up

I will

And Ill imagine Ill count all the ways you could a bust in the mouth

Dont choke on your drink she laughed  Gotta go   Baby   And David

before she left she pulled loose hair back up on top of her head and redid her hairtie a scarce bit more vigorous than necessary

he admired her jiggle

she winked  Adios

David said You ought to ask

I think I will  then turning to David drink in hand Na zdrowie  David blanched  Polish for health

Oh

And then taking full advantage of my situation Im gonna ask how you are

How am I

Yes

How do you mean

We dont know each other well but youve seemed  to me   out of sorts   

How are you

If I said  the puddles in the street the recent rain they arent the right color theyre green they shouldnt be 

Id say the clouds havent been overhead theyre around us at the edges like ramparts  Meringue ramparts  I have perceptions too

Yes  You do

David went off on his fear from the election It didnt matter he was American he was of Mexican descent he was gay in his extended family there were those who werent  Werent  Who worked hard Who paid taxes Who did jobs whites wont Who if they left in mass would leave the wheels of agriculture in California spinning spinning going nowhere and deserved it if they allowed forces without to dictate

I cant tell you not to be afraid for you or yours

I can tell you  Ill be out ahead of you  with thousands millions of others

David nodded

Gotta use the restroom Would you like to stop Sam and order another for yourself Im still good  Nursing it as if I was a babe at her tit he laughed

David stirred uncomfortably  still up in his head 

walking to the restroom he looked back and saw David sat on his stool  still bent

fuckin bar toilets  they only came one waydidnt they

he pissed into the stained porcelain urinal

the urinal weeped

it weeped piss tears onto the floor that found the joint between the tiles and dribbled like mercury clots collecting debris to the drain behind him and cried as the slivered grate split it like razors  piss tears  steam and incense vapour  disgusting  cut by airy patchouli dispensed from a shabby white plastic air freshener stuck to the tiled wall

seemed quick-fixes were common course poor answers pitiful options to just get by

he washed his hands in the stained sink and dried them with paper towels

he hoped he was all about hope that kidney tapped hands clean refreshed he might find David sitting more upright
at worse  well  Sam could pull his ass out of the fire on looks alone

began Day-between-Two-Ts in the afternoon walking,  16  11. 16

scribbled 1422,  Friday,  18  11. 16

tied it in a knot 1141,  Saturday,  19  11. 16

Bill Withers  Aint No Sunshine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuKfiH0Scao

he was trying to stay focused

she wasnt helping 

her bra was too sheer for her formfitting white blouse

she wasnt deliberately trying to sway his attention

he was naturally very observant  naturally a raging heterosexual male shot-through-and-through-and-through with testossedterone  a can of kerosene

and she was a lit match

she reminded him of a job he held  he coordinated security for college student-housing

he was required to sign corporate paperwork

he signed Under Duressin fact Under Duress writ larger than he signed his name

What are you doing his manager asked

What are you doing this is horseshit  A sustained glance  What the hell is a sustained glance

You know what a sustained glance is

I dont  Whos the arbiter of that

It aint staring I know staring

Where did this come out ofWait  Dont tell me  Lemme guess Maintenance  So management has a problem perhaps received a citation and rather than address it detail it to an individual or individuals it gloms on the paint and whitewashes everyone

It refuses to point an appropriate finger                                                                                       

Under Duress is legit                                                                                                                            

It aint getting any better than that

I cant accept this

Youll have to  I signed it as you asked  If it seems Im prevaricating then no more than corporate  Some bigwig can travel down here from Sacramento and demonstrate for everyone a sustained glance 

Now  if everyone agrees  his or her sustained glance is sustained   Id assume they also signed the same paperwork they demand we sign and if our company assembled agrees that they demonstrated a sustained glance  well then     from the text we signed its grounds for firing

If I were you Id shuffle it in with everyone elses and let corporate catch it or notId bet not  But then you can equivocate He did sign it and if a bugs that far up their ass they can dispatch some underling to address me

Legally I can sign anything Under Duress if I legitimately feel under duress  And I do

she shook her head Always the hard nose youre always the hard nose  You have to be the fly in the ointment

Thats tried and tired Be more original

I havent time for originality

And you havent time to saySomebody has to say  Im disappointed more dont

she looked down cast her eyes on his paperwork  Last warning  Ill submit it

he didnt hear her

he turned and was already out of her office

he was a sloppy can of kerosene and she was a lit match

it wasnt her fault how she was built she could try to hide it many women did

but she embraced her statuesque build

he was a fan

she skirted the edge of the gathering and like metal drawn to a magnet she approached him

Hello she said

Hi  How are you

Lost  Apparently

Great  I love the blind leading the blind  Can you read braille

she laughed she didnt cover her mouth

her stock vaulted in his estimation

she wasnt helping matters

Youre not heading this up

I get that  I get that often  Im not

I dare say Im like you a want-to-be-activist looking to be shoved in the right direction by someone whos been around and can turn us in that direction utilise our passion

You passionate

he didnt cross his fingers

I am passionate  I approached you because  well er    because you seemed most impervious

Impervious

I cant read braille

You have other attributesImpervious  Ive been called a lot of things in my life but never impervious

Take it as a compliment    she smiled  Can I stand with you

Of course  There are some things Im not impervious to  he smiled   Apparently youre one

Thank you  That makes me happy

they explored much happiness together

1256,  Saturday,  19  11. 16

Ben E King  Stand By Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hwZNL7QVJjE