30.7.14



He was a little boy
playing with a garden hose
as little boys do

but what little boys didnt do
was when an adult asked them to please stop what their were doing
that they wouldnt
that they would keep on and on until an adult finally came over and stopped them
had to stop them with violence exceeding their raised voice or an explicit threat

he wouldnt stop
until an adult stopped him


he was a little boy playing with a garden hose
the water always so cold
and he always so unmerciful 
when the other kids cried STOP
he wouldnt
hed go so far as to push the younger or smaller children down a latent fist or with his foot
and continue his torment  his cruel glee  beyond their helpless pleads and tears
hed laugh as they gargled and choked on the water  
gasped for air  
over their sobs he taunted   
Baby!

then an adult
always too late
would enter the yard out through the houses back door demanding what was going on
as if his actions were new
or a surprise
they would have to wrestle the hose out of his unremitting hands

it did no good  or helped  to slap him upside the head
no sooner had the adult stopped the dowsing
reprimanded the boy
and left
hed go around and slap the kids he just tormented
leaving his handprint on their mottled backs or flushed cheeks
their welt and scarlet camouflaged by the welts and scarlets children always sported when having played outdoors



the last he saw that peckerwood that miserable sonofabitch was in-country
and no one was more surprised  --  when he thought the war had stripped SURPRISE 
from him  --  than he
almost immediately he recognized him

some fuckin things never changed

it wasnt hard to recognize a sadist
if youd grown up with him from boyhood

what were the chances 

he was at some luckless villagers caught in a crossfire between VC and Army with a flamethrower   
they were hard luck bastards   just trying to get the hell out of Dodge 
and he wasnt gonna let em
from behind he could hear him screaming above the jet and gout of twisting flame
Ya fuckin gooks! fuckin gooks! worthless pieces of shit!
he could almost have wished he had a dollar for every time he heard that in-country
snarled at either North or South


                                                      over the roaring accelerant and androgynous flames  
he screamed STAND DOWN SOLDIER
then                                                                                                                                  
by the shift  the attitude of his head  he knew he had been heard

there was a POP in the flamethrower as he stopped . . . and  slowly  he  turned  towards  him . . . the flickering blue nozzle gasping
hesitantly pointed down . . .

and then . . . that . . . smile . . . slowly breaking on his blackened sweaty face

as it did 
years passed
in the sodden yard
the cold clear water flowing from the hose into the long green Midwestern grass

that . . . smile

a  long  eerie  silence  stretched   out  between them
                                                                            over the snake hiss of the flamethrower
over the lazy floating flutter of thin bamboo ashes
like those of Fall leaves he burnt in the street gutter when he was a boy
                                                                           over the whimpers and unearthly sounds
death rattles and choking moans
over the pungent smell of petrol burned flesh

that  long-toothed  white  smile

over it                                                                                                                                                   the dull eyes crinkling  honeyed by his cruel glee


as the flamethrower came up and began to spout
his bullets slapped him in the chest and belly    he exploded into a rage  an inferno
whose concussion threw him onto his back
                                                                        the tanks  creased and penetrated  blew 
an abject fit  and fire
which seemed always to have burn unquenched inside him



nineteen years old                                                                                                                          half-a-world away from home                                                                                                            doing a thing that should have been taken in hand then
so that now
it might never have had to happen


he felt real bad

and then he didnt


2356,  Sunday,  27  7. 14

29.7.14



--   Irrelevant


youch  thats got to hurt 
                                                                                                                   
how many times had she had to say that   and still it didnt find ground or stop their 
incessant calling  badgering
 
the time and times again she threw that at their feet
Irrelevant
it apparently sounded nothing more  than having spoken into the dull deaf void 
vacuum  of their ears

how many more times was she expected   to be polite                                                                       though it was her Nature
                                                                                              and they seemingly knew it
to explain                                                                                                                            exhaustively
--   No more messengers
No more intermediaries
                                        heads  authentically  stuffed so far up their arses
they couldnt recall or communicate the slightest detail  or precariously few details  she 
imparted them
                         despite evidence   --   listen to the tedium in her voice   --   its Ache 
whose teeming and seething other words wanted their expression   --   though she withheld   
Dammed

Irrelevant  was perfectly apt
a better term didnt exist
                                         perhaps too many syllables to comprehend


she grew weary
                           but maybe that was part of their Game
Inept


she disregarded her pieces Now

Now
when they called
she answered
then stabbed END with her thumb
as if she were gouging out their eye or pushing their Adams apple aside    
                                                                                                      suffocating them
Then
even her hangups
confused them

they were as irrelevant as seatbelts in diesel trucks
condoms for ugly men
and Nursery rhymes



1635,  Thursday,  24  7. 14