I don’t she saidchuckling softly  I don’t know what that is.

he tipped his head sidewayseyed her like a small bird  Mothballs

she giggled  Yes.  Those.

You have no idea

None.

         If I may, balls are funny.

humour swept across his face I have to agree

                                           I own a pair  An moths too

    So what are they?

This tshirt patting his chest

                              it read SMASH RACISM in bold crimson letters and between the words felons hung from a rope  a fat pig pinata  beneath it a man shouldering a baseball bat readying to strike

This was from felons first term an afterwards  a keepsake  I put away in a storage chest in with sweaters an mothballs to keep them free of being noshed by larvae

    VOILA cunts returned

So as well  the tshirt

No, I didn’t know.  I feel stu . .

. . No no  Can feel ignorant but not stupid

                                             I imagine my expression threw you Ive not met someone who hasnt heard of mothballs

You can imagine my surprise

I can.

        But you’re old school so no doubt theres things you can tell me that would flummox me.

    obvious twinkle in his eye Woud you like to flummox

 

Gosh. returning his twinkle  You say the nicest things to me.

                                                              she smiledfantastic dimples  nodded                                                                        

that was unexpected      

1330,  Wednesday,  18  6. 25

0845,  Thursday – Juneteenth,  19  6. 25

Juneteenth  https://tulsahistory.org/exhibit/1921-tulsa-race-massacre/

Heather Cox Richardson  https://heathercoxrichardson.substack.com/p/june-18-2025-wednesday

nowadays had to enter a code to unlock the Mens room at the grocerystore

                                                                                thats what its come to

foul men fouling bathrooms

smearing feces on the walls

                               wasnt like if you caught them in the act redhanded  craphanded

youd want to mix it up with them

    correction

                      utility room next door down was unlocked  janitorial supplies   a rancid mop

he stepped back into the Mens room

shithands turned

                   he might have thought to face him but midturn

he cracked him on the side of the head

staggering him

                then popped him in the kisser onetwothreetimes

he fell backwards

cracked his head on the palegreen tiled wall

                                               slipped to the floor eyeballsfluttering

popped him one last time in the mouth

blood streaked the wall from contact down

leveraging the handlesnapped it in half  mophead in the urinal

took it with him

exited

        no Man room

 

he walked two blocks to the library

tapped a kidney tenderly there

wasnt much to express

                        but when walkinreadin hed get carried away and had on occasion found himself in the middle of nowheresomewhere

so emptying himself served him well

rather than having to take a leak

                                   where

he might not be able to tenderly tap a kidney                                                               

1400,  Wednesday,  18  6. 24

2144,  Wednesday

James Brown  It’s A Man’s Man’s Man’s World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SFJS157hts

That about this?

                    thought he was being clever which he wasnt good at

so he thought hed be equally as inept This about that

That’s what I’m saying.

Sayin

Yes. I’m saying.

I got a questionplay first thing in your mind out your mouth

                                                                    Maybe not a question

Question statement either appeals to me

                                                Appeals   to my curiosity Which I do not believe flags

That about that?

Yes  As a matter of fact

How?

Word association  Psychology

WAT.

Now tha was clever

                       Word Association Test  Jung

Look at you.  Yes.

Ja

     Im curious  Ya play

 

Sure.  I’ll play whatcha got?

    Sex

Coupling.

Coupling

Yes.

If I were playing  Coupling

                                      Id say train

Train?

Coupling cars

I’d never think that.

Fair

         Ready for the next

Yes.

Sex

        since he had put him off with coupling  Copulation.

shaking his head  Jaysus

 

What?

Impossible to say fuckin

We didn’ . .

. . Whos we

We. Growing up. My parents.

Neither did my parents

                          But I chose not to do wha my parents did   Ever

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language First dictionary to publish the definition of fuck stuck it under my parents nose after dinner at the kitchen table my brothers an sisters not yet excused 

Rule was you coudnt use a word in the house if it wasnt in the dictionary 

                                                                               The fuck

I was my siblings hero

A humble hero

 

No.   We did not say that in our house.

    Wha

That.

Tha about this or this about tha

151preferred,  reggaefriday the Thirteenth,  30  5. 25

1208,  Wednesday,  18  6. 25

Joel Fausto & Illusion Orchestra - Someone Sang And Slowly Dance  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKx-XPHYFF4

banjaxed

nifty word

yanked his eye onto the page and made it stay

                                                   Good dog       dried his eye out a bit 

it felt tacky

3M tacky

stuck it back in its socket

other eye turned to it

                         Really?

Yah really.

Not like it was a chick.

No no.

       Had it we’d have been hounds, sniffin’ the air, howlin’, but only so he could hear.

   There’s that.

That there is.

 

    banjaxed means

                       Irishadjective looks Gaelic    ruined incapacitated broken          love

Whas he mean love whadaya mean love

Nobodys talkin to you

You think youre talkinbroadcastin to all us

                                                  Ya know tha                                  

Nobodys talkin to any of you  Mind your own business own Ps an Qs

Asshole

           You be our business  pissed  quorum  present    Ones plenty               Love

    Not today some other time

Keep to the script

Script

            Youll come back to it    Love

Todays

         Well see

    Today different than any other day script in stone shoot from the cuff  random   Randily

We 

    Isnt  tha love

No

    Lust

Lust is rarely banjaxed

Nothing to break

1322,  Tuesday,  17  6. 25

1043,  Wednesday,  18  6. 25

https://languagedrops.com/blog/top-5-irish-gaelic-slang-words-you-need-to-know#:~:text=Banjaxed%20%2D%20Feeling%20worn%20out%3F,broken%20or%20not%20working%20properly.

Eric Dolphy and Booker Little Quintet  Like Someone in Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QUK49audWg 

there hadnt been anything bad since Elmer

                                               if bad was succinct for selfdefense  bludgeoning the man

his right to defend his home his body

bad

       was the cops try as they may to make something other stick  some addled fiction

had seen one too many movies streamed cop serials

                                                         that

an he an half of them  disliked one another would spit

                                                           sparredboxed at the local gym

he rattled some eyeteeth

cops dont like getting beatup at what they think is their game

                                                                 they lacked imaginationlacked knowledge of his history

lacked empathy not a job requirement

    lacked his smarts

                          where Elmer fell down too hadnt played the game out to a finale

thought he lacked what the cops thought he lacked

analogue

           Checkers Chess didnt roll that out unless awfully apropos

Checkers Chess

                  Fuckin yahoos

 

bad had its occasions with him

                                    must have been bored  decided to try its hand again

when bad visited him as a kid defended his ethnicity badly got knocked to shit his Maw turned him over to his uncle who was connected with Golden Gloves

                                                  Joe. Could you do something for him?

his Uncle Joe did

                 did to the point where his uncle didnt say but made him understand he could be lethal

all he said was  Be smart.

 

he didnt go looking for bad

 

when bad was bored it found him  

1430,  Monday,  16  6. 25

0953,  Wednesday,  18  6. 25

The Body Keeps the Score

    text   twenty years too late

                                      would have helped him meet his wifes onset

perhaps help stymie her inexorable  freefall  downward  spiral

                                                                    if

bigif  he had it in his toolkit

                               caveat  proviso   Maymaybe  might have made a difference

the guy stood Romanian Caz Jimbo the bartender said afterwards banged his empty glass tumbler on the bar

                                                                                                              left

went through his shouldernearly spinning himHey man he paid no attention  anesthetised  muttering Depression fuckthing sadness gone riot.

                                              riot    nothing gained confronting him

Jimbo

The usual?

Yah please

             motioned with his head after Caz  Whas his story

Ya wouldn’t want to know I ain’t sayin’.

 

set a large Redbreast on a napkin on the polishedwood bar as the Guinness creamed

                                                                                          Yasure you aint Irish?

Neighbours  A polack

                         Cant find Polish beer an tater vodka doesnt pair with Guinness

 

1440,  Monday,  16  6. 25

0905,  Wednesday,  18  6. 25

Depression quote  Ken Bruen  The Devil

her I don’t know drove him nuts  anyones did

                                                         seemed a casual way to dump it in his lap

wanted to beat that

get ahead of him

    he was being considerate

maybe  shed give it some thought since they parsed it hung between them  they mused   after some truly riotous sex

when he woke the sun was creeping like a spider on the wall playing at illuminating large oils she painted

    they glistened

                   were  provocative

he laid still  quiet as a mouse

                                  thought

he knew what hed like to do

 

the yolkyellow room brightened

                                 eyes closedshe turned her back to the sunnuzzled his shoulder  kissed it

                                                                                   her breath wasnt quite there

she lingered under hypnopompic waves  particles

                                                       replacing his white noise

he closed his eyes

replayed several dream scenarios on his eyelids

                                                           Are you asleep?

Im not

lithely she crawled on top of him

                                     Ohmy.  I should say you’re not.

spreading her legs she fitted him inside her pushedup hands flat on his chest closed her eyes   then slowly slowly soveryveryslowly  rode him

                                       paso fino

he watchedwas mesmerised thrilled by the rhythmic swaying of her breasts

                                                                               felt a heavy swelling in his balls

grabbing her tits tighthe erupted nearly bucked her offknocked her head on the wall

    she collapsed on top him

                                 slipped off

 

I think youre not finished

Pleas . . .

he didnt let her get a word in edgewise

                                          shed cry her pussy was too ticklish

tucked a finger up her asslicked her savoured her with madabandon

                                                                              she howled like a banshee

 

 

recovering

             grabbing a handfulplus of tit Well kiddo   Whawoudya like to do with our day

1122,  Tuesday,  17  6. 25

1526,  Tuesday

occasionally hOles in his perception as he walked and read

                                                               quicktiltglances forward  over top of the book

taking in the lay of the land

if people  rare pedestrians

    a hOle

missed a downed powerline before him that a pedestrian  left  other side of the motley rotting concrete street there were no sidewalks gleamed her seventy metres earlier

                                                       Careful she warned I walked this way halfhour ago and it wasn’t down.

she nodded as he thanked her was on the cell calling it in

                                                                            comely  really dug her efficiency

    

    a hOle

nearly missed the sunlight reflecting up there hadnt been rain

                                                                          AwwKahRist   profane

congealed

in the churchs remote parking lot at the back of the property

only staggered hopscotchsteps forgave him had he stepped on it hed have glidedslick across it

a cellophanescab of vomit on the blacktop  assphalt

                                                          copious

had to be the entire content of their belly

had half a mind to use a stick to push through it lookin for their asshole

                                                                           Otherwise

they swallowed it

to retain it

1440,  Thursday,  1  5. 25

1016,  Tuesday,  17  6. 25

Again.

they were hiking

she was behind him

he was familiar with the trail  hinted by deer 

he threw conversation over his shoulderprojected his voice or had thought he was

                                                                               Again wha

What you just said.

he stoppedturnedher head was down she almost ran into him

                                                                      You didnt hear me

resting her hands on his chest

                                No.  I heard.

    Then why again

You don’t think that was an odd thing to say?

Odd I say odd things Youve remarked more than oncemany times  tha many times regarding wha I say

    Queer now you ask me wha I said if you heard

I heard.

Then

Had I said it, wouldn’t you ask me to repeat myself?

No

    Id have heard you

I hear hawks.

Ja

Anwhy the German?

Doesnt end with an S he exaggerated the S   snakish

cut him off

             Hawks.

Ja

How?

Ive no idea

             Walking  Silent  Typical white noise in my head tha accompanies me

Tinnitus some say

Irritateem when I counter background radiation   Maw Earth sighs

                                                                           But I digress 

I hear gliide

               Like the whisper of deepsnow cut by the sled runners coming downhill when I was a kid

Knife through butter

Tha sound

    Interesting way to explain it.

                                    Kinda makes me wish I could hea . . .

There

            in the sky a hawk

  

1430,  Wednesday,  30  4. 25

0849,  Tuesday,  17  6. 25