Ya stymied

A tad

Ya thinkin   Joyce

Yaread my mind

    I am your mind

Theres tha

Shall we

We shall

           got up went down the hall to the bedroom and atop his dresser between stained glass bookends his wife gave him for Christmas last century he kept his favourite hardbound books many First Editions  The Dawn of Everything Finnegans Wake The Vorrh Vincent Van Gogh The Autobiography of Benvenuto Cellini illustrated by Dali Henry Millers Tropic of Cancer Tropic of Capricorn Hemingways The Nick Adams Stories The Short Stories of Hemingway  Random Houses 1930 edition of Moby Dick

                                                                                          returned to the studio

We randomly opening Finnegans

We are

Im gonna close my eyes

Me too  Then drop a finger in it

they did

          opening their eyes

Then, then, as soon as the lump his back was turned, with her mealiebag slang over her shulder, Anna Livia, oysterface, forth of her Bassein came.

    Do anything for ya

No   You

Nah

      Once more

Im game

AGAIN

         . . . he got the charm of his optical life when he found himself (hic sunt lennones!) at pointblank range blinking down the barrelYOU REMEMBER    Let me finish    down the barrel of an irregular revolver of the bulldog with a purpose pattern, handled by an unknown quarreler who, supposedly, had been told off shade and shoot shy Shem should the shit show his shiny shnot out awhile to look facts in their face before being hosed and creased (uprip and jack him!) by the six or a dozen of the gay boys. pg 179

Sheesh  Before you rememberwe remember  whats the Latin

Lennones

Yah

Here be lions

Whas tha supposed to mean

                                . . . he found himself (hic sunt lennones!) at pointblank range blinking down the barrel

It was used by ancient Roman medieval cartographers to mark unknown potentially dangerous territories on maps  TERRORtories if I may    You may    I did    You did   Signifies the absence of human knowledge or control in those areas

    Thas interesting as hell

Yah

Is tha where you wherewent when tha twelvegauge doublebarrel shotgun was leveled in your face One trigger pulled    Then the second    I thought you wereWEwere gonna get it with the second  the first foreplay

You  me    both

                   I wasnt hic sunt lennones here be lions I was    If I may    Please    We were This is how people die    Yah    We didnt attack him we waltzed out of there    WE did ya miss the .thirtyeight in his belt    Wha    Yadid    Idid    Yah the shotgun provocation selfdefence    FUCK    Fuckright    Im happy we waltzed    For guysgals who don danceYah    Yah

    The things tha shoudve killed us

We got nine livesfigure  threetwo more before BINGO!  

1111,  Saturday,  29  3. 25

https://www.worldhistory.org/Benvenuto_Cellini/

they were talking

                       distracted

he was having trouble listening to her  her angst bubblingfrothy    exercised

                                                                        Kiddo

he interruptedwished they were face to face rather on the phone

she croaked What? stunned by his abruptness

Excuse me  donmean to be rude

No.  Not rude.

                 I was takin’ to the jets.

he smiled distantly  wryly   liked she copped some of his speech

                                                             I got a hot one for ya

A reprieve?

   No   Theres no reprieve for tha

                                    Tha was cruel   Grotesque

Deliberate.

No doubt

             Showin their true colours

   What?

Ya sitting down

I can.

You should

I hate when you say that.

 

   Down.

              What’s hot?

Theyre not hers

she swallowed Not.    Hers.

No   Too muchfar  far    too much

   How?

You saw  you held Mom

Yes.

These are more than Mom

 

                                  A portion is supposed taken

 

 

Are you okay

 

   a sob  I can’t talk now.

Im sorry  Call me when you can I love you

Love you bye.

           hungup

disembarking    took a sip of coffee  cold

                                            he had no idea how long he was sitting there

dead phone in his hand

stood

placed it in its cradle

                          he crossed the kitchen to the sink and dumped the coffee turned went to the liquor cabinet behind him and poured the coffee cup full of whiskey took a huge eyewatering gulp   he returned to the dinette chair sat set the cup on the tableheld it between his fingers and looked out the window at nothing in particular

he couldnt see anything outside the inside of his head

1022,  Thursday,  6  3. 25

1007,  Saturday,  29  3. 25

Dark Sorrow Ambient Music  Lost  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4IXvD-3NFM&t=1036s

Assembly   by Natasha Brown

                                   her character asks on page 21 early yet Did I prefer this to sleeping alone?

shes a young woman

he turned the question on himself

                                    because

her character didnt seem satisfiedhed only just met her they hadnt spent sufficient time together

he was reading

                   an interloper   vagrant

voyeur

           no bullshit opts please  spectator observer viewer onlooker    watcher 

watcher

                  fuckin voyeursby any other name would smell as sweet 

Bill stoodup  offended

Sit downsit  your ass  down

                                Ya coined itI give you credit  but ya don get a say in wha climate circumstance situation youre words are used

Out of your mouth

Onto a page inked with a quill

Print set

They don belong to you anymore

However forever   youll be the Author

                                          The Authority

Did she or he prefer this to sleeping alone

he will read on

hell write on

   maybe by the end of her book theyll know the answer

1705,  reggaefriday,  28  3. 25

0928,  Saturday,  29  3. 25

Stephen Stills  Love the One You’re With   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZyj6GECjZ0

they called him out

                        buttinskys

he cracked the doorthey kicked it wiide open

   Marys

Seven Minutes in Heaven

who knew Heaven was so invitingso  wellendowed

                                                       he almost swallowed his tongue

then the flashlight went out

there forward  everything up for grabs

                                          for  pinched fondling grabass

who grabbed his cock

neither admitted it later

seven minutes went long

it was dark

couldnt see their watches

                                 not that they owned one

things got crazy rambunctious   got    heated

                                                     he got gobbled

                                                     neither admitted it

how could they

mouth was stuffedfull

DID YOU GET THAT

                                  if they got pripioca

tugged at the waist of his bluejeans

                                PAYINATTENTION

Brazil the Amazon

Metaphysical Club

                        he was also aroused by other words

mamelucos Portuguese  a person of mixed European an Amerindian ancestry                 

cafuzos  ditto person of mixed African an Indigenous Brazilian ancestry

mulattoes English mixed African an European ancestry derived from Spanish – Portuguese words mulato an mulata

cabocos person of mixed Indigenous an European ancestry  less commonly  a culturally assimilated or detribalized person of full Amerindian descent  

                       Brazil  caboclo refers to this specific typer of mesticoBAM Threefer

   Well gang

                  Get an earful

 

We heardya

               Got all your yippinbout ancestry

Well assume incestry didnt lag or trail far behind

Particlespartickles  my ass

2320,  Thursday,  27  3. 25

1320,  reggaefriday,  28  3. 25

Wha

          read it again  . . . mocas (young Brazilian women  the Amazon) were nicely dressed in white muslin & jewelry with flowers in their hair & an excellent smell of pripioca.

in The Metaphysical Club  Louis Menand

pripioca

 

              happened again

certain words appeal to him  stand out 

he finds themwithout knowing what they mean  attractive

                                                              sudden blackanwhite pin-ups

Jane Greer  later starred in Out of the Past

how could he not be WOWed

   WOWed

                Youre kiddin

Nobody askd

No

     But

Understand wha occurs to you  filters through your brain   tidbits particles inadvertently   how do I wannasay  are     revealed  to us

                                          Like

In a dark closetSeven Minutes in Heaven  flashlights momentarily turned On  turned Off

                                                                                                Yasee

No mistakin

We remember

                 The Marys

Yafollowed them in anin the dark off came their blouses bras  they flashed the flashlight

                                                                                                Yasaw

Its like tha  shrugged

                               Just like tha

Pripioca

Captured your attention

 

Whadoes it smell like

I havent smelled it   Its described as woody an spicy with floral an vanilla hints          

Not thaya coud

OhHellno

2320,  Thursday,  27  3. 25

1036,  reggaefriday,  28  3. 25

Ya yahooChrist

               Science has wormed its way so far up your ass its burrowedlaid eggs in your brain

they were going to dispute Gaia

                             whenever bringing Her up he watchedknew what was coming  for that dullglint dust  abrasion   discomfort in his eyes

Need I reiterate

It’s not science.

Gaia According to Loveloc . .

. . I kno . .

. . Mother of All Life

                     The living Earth tha gives rise to everything tha follows  She operates as a whole

   She?

She too big a job to entrust to a man

                                        Gaia  Dropdead female

Men struggle finding their ass with either hand  been accommodated too long

                                                                                 Got dick   So special

White

       Meant to rule the world

My ass

You’re white.

I am

A man.

I am

So what's your issue?

   Aint got a damn thing Im interested in  Nothing to see there

                                                                   Ill leaveem for you for whaever reason ya constantlyconsistently size up

Have at it knock yourself out

Gaia

       She  I revere

As close to religion Ill ever be

1253,  Thursday,  27  3. 25

0933,  reggaefriday,  28  3. 25

https://www.greenpeace.org/international/story/24978/gaia-ecology-earth-is-connected-rex-weyler/#:~:text=Lovelock%20and%20Margulis%20stitched%20all,it%20operates%20as%20a%20whole.

Chicago  I’m a Man  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBGyFrHF1eU

Muddy Waters  Mannish Boy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSfqNEvykv0 

he was humming

  he didnt hum

what was he humming

                           he kept it up trying to findlocate  some recognisable word words  in it

Shit he said

                    Baby Mine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCgDgJsTR_w

Dumbo

he gave all the Disney VHS tapes he had to his daughter except Dumbo   and Fantasia  Nineteenforty

   why the humming

                             sitting at his desk a halfhour he saw why the hum resulted

on the opposite side of a collected piece of paper he scribbled  datedOFCOURSE he had

Friday  15  7. 05nearly twenty years ago  1230ish

on it he quoted someone

                            Flee, all is discovered.

who had he quoted

                       also wrote pg 286 after and circled it

who was he reading in Twothousandfive 

   he sat  and thought

 

halfhour later looked at the clock when he began evidently halfhours favoured him he quit thinking and went to the computer to Google Flee

                                                                                                                         found    Yes Ofcourse  asshole

Robert Penn Warren  

                       All the King’s Men

he remembered

                   a fascinating read

partial quote of the paragraph was

                                      (The) West is where we all plan to go some day. his West was inadvertent  he followed his wife because she was going evenif she had to go alone  she grewup in California   It is where you go when the land gives out and the oldfield pines encroach. It is where you go when you get the letter saying: Flee, all is discovered.

                he read the book another time since  saw both films

 

while Googling he copped three other quotes pertinent to the sloppy barrel of shit America was steeped in didnt want to breathe through his nose but also not through his mouth where he risked tasting it

                                                                                     The lack of a sense of history is the damnation of the modern world.  &  Reality is not a function of the event as event, but of the relationship of that event to past, and future, events.  &  It is human defect – to try to know one’s self by the self of another.

 

   Warren  fucking brilliant

1234,  Thursday,  27  3. 25

on the phone with his father Youre fadin on me Im havin to carry the ball   If shes there lemme talk with Sis I want to give her hell

muffled

            He wants to give you hell.

What did I do?

He didn’t say. Just said he wants to give you hell.

 

What did I do?

Hey Sis

           Didnt return my call

    You didn’t call.

I did

             Checking

On the Eighteenth

                    Sixteentwelve hours left a thirtyonesecond message

I didn’t get it.

Ya sound like a politician

                            I don remember

What country you were in when you were on Signal discussing classified war material

What?

Nothing

          You know me an politics I called to ask about the baby shower I understand High Tea was the theme   Finger sandwiches

Yes.

     We were supposed to wear hats.

Inside

Not hat hats.

Whas not hat hats

They’re called fascinators.

Fastenators

No. Fascinators.

Spell

F A S C I N A T O R.

Arya sure not F A S T E N A T O R    Fasten

No.

Its a real word

                European   Made of silk lace net

Why would you know that?

Dated a gal tha collected antique hats

                                             Was into blindfolds too

   Yeahokay. Brakes.

Chicken

             So you didnt wear a fascinator

No.

Know whaya shoudve worn

   Smart ass. What should I have worn?

A tiara

Dammit dammit  she roaredlaughed

                                                  You’re right you’re rightabsolutely right.

Coudve upstaged the entire gathering

                                       Made the poor pregnant gal feel like a peasant

1646,  Wednesday,  26  3. 25

1120,  Thursday,  27  3. 25

https://www.fastcompany.com/90172108/why-are-fancy-british-hats-called-fascinators-anyway

5 Man Electrical Band  Absolutely Right  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhBm4QzEQtI

walking into the room where buddy had an eightfoot pool table foldedup gametables stacks of puzzlespulled up short  saw that he hung old family photographs artwork  onein particular  a framed poster threw him  was unlike buddy

he walked in behind him shortly thereafter carrying a tray bottles of beer tumblers of whiskey ceramic bowls containing mixed nuts pretzels

                                         motioning to the walls  This is crazy nice

Thank you. I found most of them in the boys’ closets hadn’t seen them in years. I thought they'd make the room more homey.

You achieved that

                    

                         The poster  Garth Brooks

Yes.

 

You a fan

I’m not, my wife was.

she died fifteen years earlier

Im a bit surprised its not under glass as the other pieces aresave  of course

                                                                                 The paintings

No. She wanted a frame to keep it flat.

                                             Actually . . I’m very happy she didsee the upper right?

looked saw a dull purplish stain of something splashed  beyond it samecoloured speckles

The boys were gone. New Year’s Eve. I was feeling frisky goosed her she jumped tossed her wine over her shoulder.      remembering   seeing

                                                    We daubed away what we could.

Then I started daubing her.

   Daubing

Good. Using your imagination.

                                

                                      Daubed.

 

We look at a lot of our lives through glass, television screens, phone screens.

                                                                                   Easy to lose perspective . . lack . . . scale.

I see

          If Garth were under glass  yamight not have that present memor . .

. . Yes.   Yes.

                     Every time I look at it since finding, hanging it . . .  he trailed off

Youre able to relish  again

 

   Relish.

               Perfect word for it.

handing him a tumbler he held up his  Na Zdrowie.

Heres mud in your eye

0730,  Monday,  24  3. 25

1008,  Thursday,  27  3. 25