Don’t you think that . . . qualifying . . or . empowering . . . your dreams its . . scenarios its imagery . conversations contained therein . . minimize you creatively?

 

he tried to count to tenwasnt happenin  How

                                                Whereverhowever my thoughts come they do

Who am I to shrugem off avoidem  From anywhere   I encourageem

My box is enormous it influences me antha outside it   Is humongous

                                                                           I welcome them all

he shook his head in disbelief

    Don do tha  Because youre unimaginative lackluster 

                                                               Don point fingers don question shit

Walk a mile in my shoes

                             Try  Then talk to me

Talk to you.

                 Often you sayfrankly insist, you can’t claim responsibility for what you write.

Sometimes I cant   Correct

    You say . . . often . . it’s like taking dictation.

Yah

I don’t understand.

Its not necessary you do I do  Im grateful

                                              To be the piece of paper thas scribbled on to be the pen to be the handthe tool tha records the thought image  the idea 

Breathtaking

                I havent words

It steeps

I return to it edit it

                      Gobsmacked

Tha I am part of the process however it operatesIm not interestednot concerned is  delicious

My point 

            If not me I hope someone else

Its arresting

Divine

       Not to worry  Not in a religious sense

It doesnt matter where the thought comes from

                                                    Pickup a lucky penny from the groundfind a dollar bill You worry where it came from

Be grateful its yours

I don’t stoop to pickup pennie . .

. . I do

           Coud be why you run at a deficit

    Looks like yawanna get in the last word

Speak

Like I’m a dog?

    I didnt say fetch

 

 

1534,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

1836,  Thursday

he wasnt paying attention

                            she said Follow me.  turned  walked into the mall through a revolving door . . . he hadnt been through one in yearsreminded him when he was a kid and would go round and round and round and piss off adults who didnt want to time it  slip insidenot have to push while he provided the muscle the locomotion  his mothers glowering eventually made him disembark . . . and she looked none too happy as he went round and round and round

I said follow me.

You did I was

                I had to go round an round in circles  Figured youd wait a moment   Had hopes you might join me

In case you didn’t notice, no one joined you. They went to the other door.

Followed their dirty faces

Dirty?

Makin faces

Ohyeah.

Too bad Not one child locked away inside an adolt

Even children didn’t follow your lead.

Cowards

You’re something else.

Thank you for waiting  I had to

I know you did . . just as I was enterin’.

Patience

    Yeahwell . . . something you taught me.

Follow me.

hed follow her anywhere  wha an ass

he didnt pay attention to where she lead preoccupied

she entered a store

he was right behind her

went into an aisle

hit the brakes

he acted asif he didnt see her taillights go on ran into her  grabbed her so he didnt knock her down was a little game they played

Why are you so crazy?

You make me nuts

she smiled

             I guess there is that.

There is definitely tha

                        he lookedround  Wheres this

Think it’s time you bought a nice outfit.

Outfit  Am I a woman

Then whatever you call it.

If I was in the market Id be at Goodwill

                                          Whas the name of this place   Christ

on the plateglass facing out T backwards R backwards E backwards B backwards L  A  T  backwards ampersand  T two backward Es W  T

TWEET & TALBERT

A Men’s shop.

Howd you find this place

A guy at the office dresses nice I asked him.

Cantya just admire his dress at the office and leave me to my . .

. . 501s, black tshirt?  No.

Seersuckers

No.

     Let’s get a couple of outfits for you.

Awright nodded

                   threw in the towel began as an outfitnow two he didnt want more

she had good taste  knew wha looked good on him

he shaddup

    next time  hed pay attention

prior to 8AM,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

1211,  Thursday

Billy Preston  Will It Go Round In Circles  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F_DRNCGjQM

You got a bucket lis . .

. . I wanna get laid a few more times.  all else he needed were dogpants behind his words

    Laid

You gotta say it like that?

Which was

Was . . . like I’m out of my mind.

Brother  by your own words you havent struck me as a good lay even when you were younger

That’s a helluva thing to say.

Not when comparing sex you   you yousound more like ya dipped your toe in it rather than treated it as a seven-coarse meal a freaking banquet  Eating the parsley garnish at the edge of the plate

Garnish.

eyeballed him Garishly

         LOOK  NO HANDS

How coudya not be positively enthralledsuck meat off the bones snapem crackem finger out suck the marrow

That’s disgusting.

Your described sex Coudnt agree more

                                           I stoodem on their head ateem like ice cream cones  slowly  messily let their flavour dribble onto my hands wrists lappedup every bit of em

 

    Nohuh

By the expression on your face  Nada    Not your foray

Foray?

Furiously

           This is where yaoughta interrupt jabber  something about testosterone your typical go-to lets you stagger wade around like a Greek Titan he wouldnt impart to him tha hed be Uranus to his Cronus wasnt up on his mythology  Cronus castrated Uranus

Yeah. A god.  You got it right.

he motioned with his hand waved him onward said nothing

Filled to the brim burstin’ with testosterone.

Yah

     Then whas with the little blue pill ED

Fuckyou.

At least youre up on your pharmacology

                                            Testosterone

In excellent service to young men groomed as GIs or for business world psychopaths sociopaths  to make money at all costs

      Cretins   Titans of Industry

Crazy  Can kill for your government but ya cant kill for yourself

                                                                     But I digress  Yawanna get laid againwho doesnt

    Regrets to your partner

angerflushed You’re ruthless.

Testosterone

2141,  Monday,  23  12. 24

1052,  Thursday,  26  12. 24

Little River Band  Reminiscing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQPzPrqNbMk

there is an obscene colour to the Family Holiday gauntlet

                                                               nearly hurtled  nearly cleared

until next year

if next is granted

                      three did not make this year

while one can admire the pretty watercolour

                                                what to make of the stark executed  pencil sketches

candle smudging  frank caricatures

                                      Who?

Please, you know damnwell who . . . damnwell whos.

    he is not blind

he deftly understands the necessitythe obsequious desire for the patented commercial Brightside

                                                                                                         but to denigrate disparage deny  the other very real side   the sadness  unhappiness

ostrich head buried in the sand

                                   is unacceptable  is unreal

pain sorrow  exhibits

                         it cannot turn on the demand for the comfort of others who do not feel like

    demands are made

some submit

                others avoid the confrontation

he avoided it so he didnt hurt someone

                                           because  he  knew  he would

he was not generous

he felt too deeply 

2124,  Wednesday – Christmas,  25  12. 24

You see?

            coquettishly she slipped her polkadot swimsuit bottoms off her ass

he took a breath

                  Christ oozed from his throat Wha a fuckin assshe knew  breathtaking

he hadnt realise what an assman hed become

she was ahead of the curve

                                   Wha fuckin curves

atop she purred

                  Whatever this is.

Yafuckin kiddin me whaever this is   she knew whaever this was

                                                                          she shimmied

Yakiddin me

what a gorgeous round firm ass

    Whatever this is.

                        shimmied again

echoing her  he steppedup tight behind her

    Whatever this is.

                       he dug the lilt in her voiceher come on  steppingup on herhands on her hips

    Whatever this is.  refused to look over her shoulder at him

he pushed her down

                       hands on her shouldersher hands on the bed  Whaever this is he whispered

Yes.

pushed her feet apart with hisspreading her legs

                                                            Whaever

Yes.

Whaever

    Yes.

he masturbated her with his cockshe kept trying to insert himshifting her hips  groaning

Nono no

Quit playing.

                 he leaned backaway  admired her ass

                                                            decided otherwise  gave her a good tonguelashing

she didnt see that coming

                            gurgled deep in her throat FUCK.  spreading her legs further apart

Whaever this is  apparent

Merry Christmas baby

Again?

Neednt ask

0757,  Wednesday – Christmas,  25  12. 24

1550,  Wednesday – Christmas

Hattie Carrolls coldblood murderer  wellcontacted   found guilty   sentenced to six months

    Thas not found

Didnt know wha it wasbut  thas  not  found

    lost  

            a woman

if hedve found William Zanzinger

William Zanzinger would never have been seenheard  or thought of again

                                                                                Billy Zee!

Who?

Mister Zee.

              Clean and E Zee.

eyes go around the room

they avoid his eyes

                      sitting in the mezzanine  great view of the place    sensational acoustics

Who?

          the  right  fuckin  question

swamp can never be fed enoughwas always hungry always  clutching a fork cuttin utensil  but more than willing unashamedly  to eat with their hands

                                           like him

disturbed dates

                   until he tookem home showedem what really eating with ones hands meant

turnedem into seven-coarse meals

whore d’oeuvre

soup

appetizer

salad

main coarse  pussy

dessert  powdered finger   madeleine

mignardise

             threw him too  thenAh Why didntya say so  petits fours

                                                                           either pet tits or get down on all fours  nosh ass

Trust me baby  Youll love it

1964

Of course Bobby couldntorwoodnt  elaborate

    that  was  his  job

                             pickinup  the pieces

2019,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

Dylan   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHfo7oyDxVc

Average White Band  Pick Up the Pieces  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyjlxsJEknc

he had to undergo a desperate surgical procedure

                                                      wished everyone would quit looking dour

they werent on the table

    sighedimagined  a young woman walking in out of the sun and heat looking cool and refreshing as sherbet tossed short blonde hair pert breastsjiggling beneath a sheer sleeveless blouse asif she were stirringup pulp that settled in a lemonade pitcher gently   deliberately

                                                 HELL sighed again

Well smiling sardonically  I’ll either see ya, or I won’t.

closing his eyes he thought relished

                                             There will never be this moment again in this life

Tuesday,  19  7. 05

1206,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

Robert Penn Warren  All the King’s Men

                                               back to back beauts

Yet the definition we have made of ourselves is ourselves.

To break out of it, we must make a new self. But how can the self make a new self when the selfness which it is, is the only substance from which the new self can be made?

    Fine  and  dandy

                          Tis the season that try mens souls   Thomas Paine

Not really Tis the season  A Christmas callout

                                                    THESE are the times that try mens souls.

making a new self

he failed to write that down on his Christmas list for Santa an anybody else who asked

mimeographed it

                    made dozens

still had dozens

people were more interested in their lists than his

                                                      an his was modestEXCEPT  forgot to include the new self

he couldnt begin to say how many people would love that he wasnt himself any longer 

                                                                                            then

thatd be a gift for them  not him

wouldnt it

             rhetorical

it wasnt going anywherestayin put  right here

he refused to read self-help books

                                      all his questions all his clues all pentup inside him

Graffiti

somebody write a graffiti self-help book

not that he was aware

not that hed look

wouldnt have

                usually every night a scroll was rolled out     Where were we?

Youre dream  Thought you kept tabs

To a certain extent, but you’re the one who boasts, considerably, of his deep long memory.

Are dreams memories

Are they?

              Aren’t they?

    Does sound like youre being rhetorical

You burned yours earlier.

Yes

      If I had to  keep tabs    Id say  I last came out   after a sex . .

. . Dream.

             Really. Please.  You realise that’s not a singular tab nor a small selection?

3M hasn’t made enough POST-IT Sticky flags, assorted bright.

he wasnt one who assumed flattery or accepted it

                                                      Then were in trouble 

Maybe if they were women I knew rather than complete strang . .

. . Yeah yeah, what’s with that?

Strangers

    Strangers.

                 Why do you say it like that?

I didnt realise I was sayin it like anything

You do.

    Im unfamiliar Nice seque though

                                          Strangers

Look up Seven Minutes in Heaven

Seven minutes. Great. The extended seven minutes two strange women in a closet bare lightbulb lit by a pullchain  And it Off.

My point  my point was to fix   one  nearby

                                                    Call it a coordinate

Coordinate?

Yah

Yeah. Yeah.

                I suppose that’ll take us into the neighbourhood.

Methinks

Quit Shakespeare.

Indeed

Saturday,  16  7. 05

1443,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

Mama Cass  Dream a Little Dream of Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz4Et_XUMiI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d32Zrodx09A

Mirate

        

    Latin miror marvel at

Verb

      To feelexpress surprise  admiration

You know tha

I did not.

How did we get this deep in life an not know mirate

Better question is how did you? You’re a reader.

                                                     Leave me out of your exploration, and failure.

Woud have failed only if I hadnt found it

Got it by the shorthairs now babe

Don’t call me that. Every time you do people always look at me.

Thas because youre lookinatem Too concerned wha other people might think

Something you could benefit from.

As if I care  Hellno

                     Imagine you suffer the same when callinya boyfrien . .

. . Jesus. That.   Don’t do that either.

You are a boyfriend Youre a boy a guy an youre a friend

Call me buddy something else.  Call me my name.

You don like your name

                            Gone by a nickname all your life

An certainly not when Im feelin jolly

Jolly.

       Who the fuck feels jolly

Humoured playful spirited

                             ME

Forget the time of the year   Santa Claus       

He jolly, or jovial?

Jovial  Merry blithe jocund convivial

Jocund?

Synonym  Adjective

Awright awright.

        

                        Now thinkin’ ‘bout it, I agree, you’re jolly to jovial, no semantics, jolly’s high spirits, expressed in laughing, bantering, jesting.

You to a T . . . particularly when you’re crucifying people with your black humor.

Cant suppress tha

You oughta. You’d make more friends.

                                              Otherwise you’re attractive.

Well thank you babe

Would you quit.   Please.

Saturday,  16  7. 05

1324,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

they exchanged Christmas gifts

    Why is he doing tha He doesnt believe in God in religion

No  He celebrating tradition

                              Very few people make Jesus’ birth front an center in their homes Theres distractions  Christmas tree its lights gifts wrappedbound by bows 

Theyre compelled  Bombarded

They are

These two are choicearent they

Theyre freakin hilarious

Gift each other liquor Our boy foundtha he believed he saved tha festive bottle bag

Im tellinya Choice

He cheers Merry Christmas hands the gift to himexplaining I knew I had a pretty bag somewhere

Thank you. looks insideAwyeah. Love my Baileys. Thank you very much.

Youre welcome Sweets for the sweet bro

Coffee?

Please

turns with gift in hand to the coffeemakerslips the Baileys outslips the Buffalo Trace in pours two cups of coffee

                                                                                                                       turns

Any adulteration?

Hazelnut

No, sorry.  I have French Vanilla.

No thanks blacks fine

You sure?

Thank you Blacks fine

he turns back to the coffeemaker picks up the swapped out bag turns

                                                                            Merry Christmas!

they roar

    You shouldnt have Thank you

                                     peering inside  My Buffalo Trace  Its perfectthank you

You’re welcome. You and your hard liquor.

Sweets for the sweet hard for the hard

smirks  Please.

You disagree

    Could we agree we have different tastes in liquor?

We could agree I enjoy liquor an you liqueur

                                               No semantics different animals

Awright awright, I’ll concur.

Excellent  Christmas concurring

                                   Add your French Vanilla fireup your cup in the microwave

Lets get this poolitics going

 

saying goodnight

                    Listen. I’m having people over for brunch on Christmas. You ought to come.

he smiled

            You invited me earlier

Yes. You declined.

                    I thought maybe you’d change your mind.

You know me to change my mind

Rarely.

Listen I do appreciate the offerthank you

                                              You enjoy your company Ill enjoy mine

You’re not entertaining.

No I enjoy my company

 

    Is he talking about us

Methinks

           You remember him recently spending time with anyone on Christmas day

Not in years

    Celebrating tradition

Saturday,  21  12. 24

1046,  Tuesday – Christmas Eve,  24  12. 24

Bing Crosby  I’ll Be Home for Christmas  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnamkFCprT4