Paul Tillich

             Man can hardly escape the fate of becoming a thing among the things he produces, a bundle of conditioned reflexes without a free, deciding, responsible self. The immense mechanism, set up by man to produce objects for his use, transforms himself into an object used by the same mechanism of production and consumption.

FUCK

       how come when he looks in the mirror to shave hes not that ugly

maybe hes not looking hard enough

                                                    maybe

he had some humility  a matter of havingholding himself in perspective

                                                                                   maybe

definitely didnt like the label Thing

knew some Things 

who happily submitted to being manipulated

 

 

Thanksgiving.

Yah

You’re coming.

No

Come on.

I told you no

               Whamadeya think Id reverse myself

No means no

    You’ll disappoint me.

Youll deal with it

Come on . .

. . Their your blood Im related only by marriage

                                                    I don suffer fools

What am I supposed to tell them?you’re gonna be missed.

Wishem a happy Thanksgiving for me

    So when is this . . . animosity going away?

Disappointment

                   Profound disappointment

Im fine wont be missing out

Joe . . .

Enjoy your family

early this century

0958,  Monday – Armistice Day,  11  11. 24

https://aeon.co/essays/my-grandfather-paul-tillich-the-unbelieving-theologian

I suffer

    sympathetically  What’s wrong?

Im Gods left hand

                      He uses me to wipe his ass

Thursday,  20  2. 14

2044,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

Evanescence  Bring Me To Life  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YxaaGgTQYM

frankly

           as bountiful as she was  she was only worth a pensee

had he told her pensee

she wouldnt have understood

too young

             an he  too old to be teased

not thathowever apparently   either cared

    they were mutually humoured

Tatas

like plump melons

There you are.  Can’t hide from me.

in a library aisle unseen

Christ  If I was fourteen

afternoon,  Saturday,  9  11. 24

1928,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

Michael Jackson  Dirty Diana  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUi_S6YWjZw

was he a romantic

he thought he was

                                 however

seems according to many  he was too strict

                                                One strike an youre out

It’s three. Three.

Too generous

               Three times too generous

I said I do not suffer fools

                             An youd not only suffer them three times  but four   but five times

Thas not romantic

                    Thas slavish  a doter    He she who confuses doting with loving

Whose ass will be taken advantage of

                                            Romantic

I think not

When I was in high school a girljeering would hold up her handfist formed except   except for her little finger extended as I would defiantly flip a bird

                                   Wrapped around my little finger.

Gosh  how very fucking romantic

One does not debase themselves

                                    Yaseem disoriented

    You’re such a prick.

Which rationally    would fall into the orb of being romantic  eventually

                                                                              Id rather you call me tongue

Cuts its way to a womans heart

1843,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

Azam Ali  In Other Worlds  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AlA9FMHXqE

I think, therefore I am.

                          Descartes’  Cogito, ergo sum

I don’t want to, therefore I can’t.

                                    Me

    by the way

                  he wasnt speaking of himself

1353,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

berserker   nice to see again

                                 offered by writer China Mieville

What do you call that? Billy thought. That reconstitutitive intelligence, berserker meme-splicing, seeing in nothing’s first pattern, then correspondence, then causality and dissident sense.

Paranoid, (Billy) said.  Theology.

    We are dealing with fanatics. And fanatics are always experts.

made perfect sense to him

                             paranoid theology fanatics  doesnt matter what crayoncoloured a religion is zealots are exactly alike and hate and kill each other for that

                                                     theres only one true religion

Assholes

    religion is nothing more than a philosophy no Torah Christian Holy Bible Qur’an  theyre buttering the same piece of toast

       ig-magnanimous Man  ig-  NOT magnanimous

sample  ignotus  from which ignorant ignorance was spawned

etymology  Latin ignotus from i – gnotus  notus KNOWN   past participle  gnoscere  noscere  TO KNOW

if he could follow anyone could

berserkers

             they think they’ve got something going on  YOUR BODY, MY CHOICE!

misogynists

he was confident if they fucked with his daughters the best they could hope to come away with was missing fingers

he had them trained in knifefighting

saw down the road

                      it stunk   even off in the far distance   foetid

if fingers

          he hoped there were hungry dogs around

that might be wishing too much

                                  but what the fuck

what else are wishes for

    kinda berserking in his own lesslethal way

written on a page dated 22March 2016, so afterwards

123preferred,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

https://www.msnbc.com/all-in/watch/-your-body-my-choice-women-enraged-by-emboldened-maga-misogynists-223996485867

The same delusion of mistaking irreverence for ignorance makes people confuse scepticism for nihilism.

not his words

               has no idea who deserves credit

but not his

    wherever he found it also unusual he didnt note time or day or date beside it he also had written paintings don’t mean anything, but they have meaning.

                                    possibly his

it lacked quotation marks which he usually applies so to be sure not to take credit

however

           he usually noted time or day or date

might have been an offday for him

    which is offsetting  uncomfortable

he makes the bed every morning after she gets up or if he has slept alone

                                                                               routine

habit

habitchualisedHIS

                     for habitualised

beneath paintings he scribbled he was definitely in a hurry ICONOCLAST

                                                                            ICON NO CLASP

no veneration

                nope  none

nothing he venerates 

a word he seldom uses

                           like profound

knows them because he is literate

but rarely uses them

they would infer a state of mind that he also   rarely inhabits

    he couldnt help but wonder what the hell was going on that day

whenever

0954,  Sunday,  10  11. 24

he stumbled onto Peters et al. Delusions Inventory while consideringcontemplating a waxed Premium soda cracker wrapper

           waxed cracker wrapper spun him up  phonaesthetics

a straw to lay across Tolkiens camels back

erode cellar door

he was unfolding it gently cajoling it to come apart without tearing ohso fixed an deliberate

                                                                                                 an out of nowhere

corner of his eye

PDI appearedgrew PDI PDI PDI PDI

                             hated here hed allow hate rather than his usual detest with extreme prejudice or the wonderful shorthand of abhor second syllable emphasised acronyms  an since he owned it it was in his eye he had to discover what it was before it blotted out the vision in that eye

ogled Google

found an Abstract

                    “Purpose: The Peters et al. Inventory (PDI – there it is!) is a commonly used instrument to measure delusion proneness in the general population and includes dimensions that measure distress, preoccupations, and convictions of unusual beliefs.”

    convicted of unusual beliefs

                                    America was crawlingmaggot-infested social media devotees who sucked up disinformation misinformation propaganda like a babe at a tit

believed the drivel

believed before vetting

woeful eejits

               an proud of it

they seem to celebrate the ignorant an their own

                                                   Christ

made him retch

    “. . . delusion proneness in the general population . . .”

Fool me once shame on you  fool me twice shame on me

he was hard to fool

                      someone would have to manically work rational arguments in to support their horseshit

sceptical

          he could smell its scent a mile off

an his nose had been broken four times

   

2134,  Saturday,  19  3. 22

1524,  Saturday,  9  11. 24

Peters et al. Delusions Inventory  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10478789/ & https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10212739/ & https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7659601/

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21861160/#:~:text=Purpose%3A%20The%20Peters%20et%20al,been%20translated%20into%20several%20languages.

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/10/16/republicans-young-adults-now-nearly-as-likely-to-trust-info-from-social-media-as-from-national-news-outlets/

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4778911/

Bush’s fool  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl7FKfl3O2Y

Moody Blues  The Story In Your Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9Zr440nXe8

    Rebecca Wilkin

he was going to pilfer her words which were incited by Madame Louise Dupin a wealthy French feminist philosopher of the Eighteenth Century who hired Jean-Jacques Rousseau as her secretary for six years

“Masculine vanity builds a world according to its fantasies, then rewrites the past to its specifications.”

Madame Dupin popped a pretty red cherry atop that disgusting sundae  her thesis “. . . what subsists now against women is the accumulated injustice of several centuries” committed her to an analysis of that process

Rousseau after his employment wrote                                        

                                         “Such was, or must have been, the origin of society and laws, which gave new fetters to the weak and new forces to the rich, destroyed natural freedom for all time, established forever the law of property and inequality,” and “changed a clever usurpation into an irrevocable right.”

he chose these words expounded them separately to help family and friends through letters emails to sharpen hone understand the farce this recent stoked scrounging masculinity was

                                                                       rarely meeting one he liked

they brayed flexed were overt to attract attention they were desperate for

true masculine is authentic

                              it simply is

it needs no glossing heralding it is an assured quietude distinct by its appearance  its presence alone

masculinity cannot be conferred

                                   rather inborn  cultivated    either got it or you dont

morning,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

1155,  Saturday,  9  11. 24

https://aeon.co/essays/inequality-was-a-feminist-idea-before-it-was-rousseaus

Again please whadyasay

Marfan’s.

Marfads

No. Marfan’s.

Spell it

M A R F A N apostrophe S.

An N not a D

Correct.

Ah  I also heardtripped off on marzipan zip however is one of three syllables anya only uttered two

                                                                                                          Marzipan hungup in my ears botching whaya actually said

And

And?

I don know wha it is

You don’t know Marfan’s?

Never heard of it

You’re kiddin’ me.

If its some family ailment tha informed you my family is bound by heart disease an cancer

                                                                                               Wha is it

It’s a genetic disorder.

Inherited

Correct. It changes proteins that help make healthy connective tissue which support organs, muscles, bones, tissues.

Tha sounds fucked up

                          Somebody didnt choose their parents well

What?

Wha  Now you cant hear me correctly

                                         Choose their parents

Choose their parents?

Yah

You didn’t choose your parents.

Evidently you didnt if marzipan runs in your family

                                                      Too sweet for me  Tha an pralines didnt like how they presented nibbled spat Christ Gawdawful

Jesus, would you keep to the point.

Seems self-explanatory due diligence

                                         I did you didnt

How?

Where is more appropriate

                            Standing in line before conception saw if I chose my folks Id be first born an have all the topshelf merchandise I wanted    Ill admit thawas the first an only time Ive been greedy

I hogged it

            Cant say why my siblings choseem Maybe they saw the folks were very attractive an at least theyd be attractive too they are

                          Were all goodlookin kids

Me goodlookin widda goods

You‘re so full of shit.

    An you have marzipan

approaching 5PM,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

0959,  Saturday,  9  11. 24

https://www.niams.nih.gov/health-topics/marfan-syndrome#:~:text=Marfan%20syndrome%20is%20a%20genetic,and%20tissues%20in%20your%20body.

You cant

I can.

    Ought to quit while youre ahead

You disagree?

Vehemently

             You cant spend ten days straight in your house without seeing somebody elseya cant

I can.

       I can do it, but I don’t want to.

If you don want to you cant

                             Whas so hard bout tha  a common sense equation

What are you talking about?

                              You make no sense.

If you don want to you cant

                              If you were striving to make sense you shoud have said I coud but I don want to Can Coud

Theyre not the same

You’re full of shit.

Can is used to talk of real abilities likely possibilities

                                                         Coud talks of possibilities one considers unreal  hypothetical

I do not contend with hypotheticals

You’re splitting hairs, parsin . .

. . I say what I mean You dick around

                                         I called your son a fool you reply hes foolish but not a foolChrist  if fooled  whaelse woudya callim

Thas an aside

                  Fact remains  you cant

4PMish,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

1421,  reggaefriday,  8  11. 24

he met Gabrielle Suchon a philosopher  1632 – 1703

                                                          Whereya been all my life

“All things in nature know no more deadly effects then when they are constrained, which is to say, when they are removed from their centre of gravity.  . . . when wind is confined in a subterranean place . . . it causes strange disturbances and inflicts severe convulsions on earth.  . . . the agitation that constraint produces in the human mind is incomparably more malignant and dangerous than wind.  . . . Constraint brings changes and trouble to families . . . and is more frightful than all the reversals of nature and the contrariness of the elements.”

freedom versus constraint

                              a kind word euphemism   hed use shackled

“Women would surmount some aspects of their constraint if they knew how to resist and how not to be so pliable and blind in helping to forge their own chains. But far from striving to acquire this sacred freedom, women invent a thousand ways every day that serve to imprison them further.”

                                                        keeping in mind Gabrielle Suchon wrote during the Seventeenth Century the fact that she could read and write was due to her incarceration in a convent she was instructed so she knew the Bible the Word of God

his favourite quote of hers to date  very timely

                                                 “Since all the evils committed in the world originate from ignorance, it should not come as a surprise that ignorance engenders dimness, weakness, dissoluteness and corruption of their principal parts of a rational being.”

he disagreed with the evil bit she wasafter all a sister during her confinement

                                                                                     hed say bad acts

Rock on bros who resent others who committed fourfive years of their lives to attain their undergraduate degree  and many persevered years and dollars more  

                                               Rock on

what are they committed to

he found Gabrielle while reading Jean-Jacques Rousseau

                                                             from Discourse on the Origin and Foundations of Inequality Among Men (1755)  this quote warmed the cockles of his heart

                                                                   “Man in the state of nature was a solitary creature. Primitive social organisation brought various forms of natural inequality to light. Civilisation progressed, usurpers invented laws to protect their ill-gotten gains, and inequality between the haves and the have-nots became legal and binding. The day will come when tyranny will make us equal again – in our wretchedness.”

1350,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

1256,  reggaefriday,  8  11. 24

the shit he found scribbled on papers he kept

rereading them made him as curious as he was when he wrote

                                                                        leuk plaatje

                                                                        Oblivously

not English

    he didnt indicate where he found it

                                            lacked context

the only thing sharing the page were instructions his daughter gave him over the telephone to help him make operable on his cellphone “Block This Caller”

it didnt work

sometimes one has to learn to negotiate unfortunate things

                                                              phone rings  number isnt in his phonebook  he lets it go

fortunately he tolerated noise

                                wasnt really tolerance  more an ability to turn it off in his head

a survival skill honed in a large family home

twelve

        if he couldnt turn them off he would have gone mad

as it was

           slightly   touched

leuk plaatje

plaatje -s plural

                  Dutch  picture  something adorable  that was OOC  out of character for him

but he dug how the word looked

                                    attracted him

leuk  white  but also means fun

                                    thereby the whole made entire sense to him

digging deeper  found gezellig lekker  they were synonymous to leuk  fun  pleasantly sociable/friendly

                                                                                                                  wondered

if it was legit in Dutch to say gezellig plaatje lekker plaatje

                                                                no matter

if he met a woman named either shed be hot

                                               Lekker or gezellig me.  not kosher

she could bet her bottom dollarguildereuro hed lekker or gezellig her

she wouldnt have to ask him Again. 

                                         Lemme take a minute or two massage my jaw relax my tongue

labour of love

    loved pussy

1155,  day-between-2-Ts,  22  9. 21

1315,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

they called him Hafway Always

                                 HA  for short  Obviously   Of course  OOC

no matter what the gang was up to

                                      he couldnt keep up

not that he wasnt committeddidnt want to

was just slow on the uptake

                               anthen   less enthusiastic

because he was late to the game

yet when the gang let him call the terms

                                          they werent inconsiderate  he was one of them

he found the ground under his feet turn to sand  slipped  lost ground 

they arrived

     he was hafway

they waited for him

                      although

less and less he was invited around

upset  begrudgingly he learned to accept that

                                                 he recognised he wasnt fire on all cylinders 

HOWEVER

              when the gang needed something worked out  something sedentary

HA was the man

maybe not a man of action

                            rather  a plodder a plotter    patience

hence how he discoveredthey discovered how he really fit in

                                                                  a cog to their gear

Say gang . . think we could change my nickname?

a chorus  Nope.    

1155,  day-between-2-Ts,  22  9. 21

1104,  Thursday,  7  11. 24

he wrote pensees to distract himself he needed that

they are a thought or reflection in literary form composed of lines of syllables

the title or subject has two

the description is four

action seven

setting eight

a final thought  six

Rubber

fit my wallet

fumbling for it went off

in the backseat of her Moms car

vinyl cleans up easy

1111,  reggaefriday,  27  1. 23

Nose Muff

my nose was cold

called When can I see you

thrusted it deep between her thighs

Why was I late to this

1206,  reggaefriday,  27  1. 23

0853,  Thursday,  7  11. 24