You familiar with deer stands

For hunting?

You are

I am.

Youve hunted

Once in Colorado. I shot a buck. Clean kill.

   We shoud wish as much

Pardon me?  he cringed

Don make a face  You understood me

Have you?

Plenty

       In the bloodlust of my youth an tha I studied biologysent wending on my way by Mr Demerest high school biology teacher who noticed I had a keen eye steady hand I killed somedissected all his exhibits for Open Houses sophomore junior senior year He missed me fiercely when I graduated  He wrote tha in my yearbook

And you hunted?

I did

      Bloodlust isnt satisfied in a lab

Rabbit fowl deer elk worked on a ranch beef worked as a butcher small shop we bought killed slaughtered sold animals

   We shoud wish as much

You’re pretty morose.

No

    An idealist realist

You use a deer stand, a blind?

No I hunted I didnt wait  You

Time in Colorado we hunted too.

                                     Why ask my familiarity?

Actually  pretty funny

                         Turns out my queen october has a fly stand

What?

Its something

                She loves window ledges  Shes feralhas a longing to be outdoors

Makes sense.

Yah  Found her in the kitchen window Big black fly buzzed over her headworked its erraticfrantic way down Octobers sitting still Then suddenlyWAP with her paw against the glass flygore it dropped to the floor

She didnt jump down after it

Glanced

Then returned her gaze into the kitchen Listening  I believe for another fly

Not sensing one she jumped downleft the kitchen

The fly fell behind a cane bin I use for recycling

I lifted it away from the wall set it aside

Four dead flies

Sweptem into a dustpan tookem outside castem in yard into the grass

I washed the smudgedgore from the glass returned the bin

                                                                 A fly stand

1214,  Saturday,  24  8. 24

1018,  Sunday,  25  8. 24

he sat down to write his father a letter

lookingup at the handclock he saw it was 8:25 on 25 August or 8/25

                                                                          Coincidence?   a friend badgered himwas unsatisfied that he refused to call anything a coincidence

It is not nothing is

                    then as every time before he heldup his right handfist closed bemused smiling would then violently jerkpop his hand open which they understood was his simulation of The Big Bang Singularity in that millionthbillionthtrillionth of a second of the Universe all that would be every nuance every particle of dust in cold space congealed planets stars suns black holes physics biology science plants animals fish human beings every word in every language every sleep and waking every scenario love affair war

                                                                      Was

Nothing a coincidence

it was also his kidbrothers birthday

pen in handresting on three sheets of paper on his desk he sipped black coffeehad thanked the machine for making it  cleared his throat  sang Happy Birthday

he would have loved to call

but his kidbrother was dead

nevertheless he was sure he heard him

those lines are always open

their connexions crystalclear

he set his mug down  upperleft corner he wrote

                                                  0825   Sunday   25  8. 24

                                 listening to Dark Sorrow Ambient Music  Lonely Neighbourhood

   Howdy Paw!

                       taking dictation from the Universe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BaopC3dMKlw

Wha did yasay

Banh mi.

Easy for you to say whastha

I’ve mentioned it before, great at a restaurant in Port Townsend.

Im familiar with Townsend On our way to Neah Bay

We cheated, but yes.

Cheated

Went out of our way.

Have I had wha you said

she laughed

              Banh mi. No. I didn’t find the restaurant until the following year.

So wha is it

A Vietnamese roll, baguette, crescentlike, think submarine sandwich, a fusion of meats, vegetables, cilantro, cucumber, pickled carrots daikon, mayo with Sriracha sauce, sambal oelek.

There you go again Wha

Sambal oelek, Indonesian chili sauce.

Anya know Vietnamese cuisine why an Indonesian chili sauce

I’ve served you sambal at my place. We had it on sandwiches, you raved.

I rave about things I have no idea of

                                       Its a talent

Like when you ask me if that thing’s a thing and I’ve told you if you have to ask know it is.

Baby My ignorance is skyhigh

 

Nothing

    No.

        You ought to get out more, try different restaurants, cuisines, challenge yourself.

You know me

                Im a black coffee hard roll kind of guy

I do. Though isn’t that unfortunate.

No  I won the fights

You won the fights?

The fights that broken my nose incurred my defective smellingHell  cant smell effects ones ability to taste

                                                                                                                Those foods would be wasted on me because I havent the palate to appreciate them

I won the fights

   You’re a piece of work, Papa.

I am

       So  Gotta ask

Are Narcan commercials a real thing

she sighed

             Yes. And this will blow your mind. In vending machines too.

Thas a thing

If you have to ask it is.

Jesus I live under a rock

                           I must be the most ignorant man in the world

 

 

2035,  Thursday,  22  8. 24

1210,  Saturday,  24  8. 24

Narcan  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMDmkSGjWTk

IQ

    EQ  not often discussed  Emotional Quotient  emotional intelligence

AI

Singularity  Ray Kurzweil

                            human consciousnessintelligence  AI  conjoined

aggravated irritated him his AI

“I realised that it wasn’t true that research should be left to the experts. In fact, research was feeling more like a human right.”

        Pepper Stetler

he researched a lot

                     but what he discovered was not research but rather where the search went  invigorating him  making him terribly anxious

                                not anxious as it is usually understood

“adjective  experiencing worry unease nervousness about an imminent event something with an uncertain outcome.” but rather pure excitement bordering on adrenaline boosts inspiring his fight or fight response not a misspelling  not flight 

. . . a human right

                    if they pursue it

fight for it

he was fascinated with what he found hed like say discovered but he didnt  it had been so he thrilled delighted wondered Wharya been all my life

                          like falling in love

hes fallin in love three times an expert

hes relishing his last

it was unexpected

                  as are all things he continues to find because hes restless and looks and learns how ignorant he really is

which upsets a friend

                        That’s not ignorance.

It is

No. You just didn’t know. Not knowing something doesn’t mean you're ignorant.

replied

        “adjective  lacking knowledge information or awareness about a particular thing.”

I wasnt calling you ignorantthough you are  It is ignorance no matter how you slice it  Are you able to admit tha

    I am not ignorant.   

this AM,  Saturday,  24  8. 24

1106,  Saturday

https://lithub.com/On-the-Dark-History-and-Ongoing-Ableist-Legacy-of-the-IQ-Test?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Lit%20Hub%20Daily:%20August%2023%2C%202024&utm_term=lithub_master_list

Kurzweil  https://www.theguardian.com/technology/article/2024/jun/29/ray-kurzweil-google-ai-the-singularity-is-nearer

lesswrong  https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/QXHKLbHzC5nPvJnXd/the-singularity-is-nearer-by-ray-kurzweil-review

lesswrong  https://www.lesswrong.com/users/eliezer_yudkowsky

logical decision theory  LTD  https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/rP66bz34crvDudzcJ/decision-theory-does-not-imply-that-we-get-to-have-nice

logical counterfactuals  https://www.lesswrong.com/posts/BRuWm4GxcTNPn4XDX/deconfusing-logical-counterfactuals

in heels Alexandria   sixseven

                                 Are you watching her?

Gabby was returning through the bar carrying two Long Island Iced Teas for her and Alexandria

Look at her. She looks like a child.

Gabby was fourten

Don’t you just want to eat her all up?what am I saying . . you have.

he was noncommittal

Don’t play coy with me. The reason I’m here is because you have and GabbyGod Bless her soul wants to share the wealthfuck you blind.

Christ Wealth  Fuck me blind

                                 I thought thered be chivalry among chicks

You think guys got a monopoly on locker room talk?OhHell no.

                                                                  You’ve been vetted, earned Gabby’s Seal of Approvalno small task, not tasking her diminutive stature you understand.

Ohhellno  there a glutton inside of her

she gave him a shot in the ribs with her elbow smiled carnivorouslycanines bared

                                                                                        Me too

Why do I suddenlyfeel like Lil Red Riding Hood

Don’t bother tryin’ to keep your hem down or panties up.

                                                          What’s that? asked Gabby handing Alexandria an Iced Tea

We were discussing this evening.

Shes makin it sound like a gangbang

Gabby laughed uproariously

                         No. She let the cat out of the bag?

Not like he didn’t know.

I had an idea

                turning to Alexandria  But I had no idea the lengththe height of it

Intimidated?

OhHell no mimicking her

                           Ive fallen out of trees before love climbing em gettin upinem eatin their fruit 

the grrls heldup their glasses he heldup his pint Gabby toasted  Take no prisoners.

                                                                                        clicked rims

after drinking he asked

                          No prisoners  We can still use ropesright

OhHell yes  they chimed

2236,  Monday,  12  8. 24

1535, Reggaefriday,  23  8. 24

Betty Boop & Sam the Sham and the Pharoahs   Lil Red Riding Hood  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNEYfIUDkh8

how to describe how he was feelinghad to laugh

                                                    typically told others Don worry about sparing my feelings I havent any

   apparently he did

Whas going on

                 an unsolicited moment  chorus of shehes heshes

On

       Queer

You figuring it out

I am

I am feeling antagonised irritated

                                         Fiftyfifty split

Wanna talk about it

No thank you

                Thank you

theyre a collection of comedians put on Jack Bennys black sidekick Rochesters voice  Awright Boss

made him laugh though

and for the mirth it soothed his antagonism

                                               stemming from personal friend who emailed him regarding a political difference and used ChatGPT to bolster his inane argument using AI to communicate with him blew his mind 

wrote back Next I suppose AIs gonna be writing people's love letters

for the mirth it soothed his irritation

                                       stemming from yet another friend who mewledwho refused to stand up for himselfwho allowed a woman to walk all over himlead him around by his nose  “Excuse me Mr./But I’m a mister too/And you’re givin’ Mr. a bad name/Mr. like you”

texted him

             :  :  Bypassing history huh?

This is going to be one of those moments that you'll remember where you were when you heard, like when Bobby Kennedy told an audience at a campaign speech in Indianapolis, Indiana that Martin Luther King was shot and killed.  An inflection point.

turned off his phone

then he really enjoyed a mighty big chuckle when he realised

                                                                  Antagonised Irritated   AI

which he despised

1747,  Thursday,  22  8. 24

1230,  Reggaefriday,  23  8. 24

Jack Benny and Rochester  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXRblykmgMI

Benny Harper  Excuse Me Mr.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJjsEyW5l6M

Bobby Kennedy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2kWIa8wSC0

he shook his head wearily

                              You kill me slay me

What?

        What would you have me do?

Say no  Whas so hard about saying no

But if you can help someon . .

. . Set precedence

Precedence? What are you talking about?

You understand precedence

                               The next time they askan they will theyll expect you to help again

An again An again

That’s not true.

It is

     How many times has it been  I don care shes a woman she has family other friends . .

. . I don’t mind.

Until the time comes when you do or when you cant

                                                       Neither will be legit then

My friend back East

Which?

         All your friends are back East. Aside from me do you have a friend here?

I do not

Not one?

No

    Im not one to seek friends Our circumstances arrived differently  I did not seek you you did not seek me  We fell in through our girlfriends

You don’t have to remind me.

No I don

           Helen

Helen. Yes.

Helens running herself ragged helping family friends Been going on for months on end Stress is getting the better of her

And for itvirtually is her inability to say no  Yours

Youre the nice guy

                    You prefer to be the knight in shining armor

Saving damsels in distress 

Distress theyve brought onto themselves

Which you know to be true

There’s nothing wrong with helping someone.

I agree

And I don’t care for you describing me a knight in silver shining armor.

I didnt say silver

                   Though I coud be a knight if I wanted

You?  No way.

    Way

           A night in a Trojan

between threefour in the afternoon,  18  8. 24

1336,  Thursday,  22  8. 24

   nope

         wasnt the three oclock in the morning telephone call that woke him

although it was shortly after three when he did

a dream badgering him

in a loop

spoken

          visualised  hand?written    named fonts

DEATH is the END

awake now

             laid in bed eyes closed

slowly the words sifted out of his eyes

                                           however remained branded on his brain

felt like he was being picked on

he eventually fell back to sleep

    DEATH is the END

                         Hey bub. Whardya go?

it leaned against a rough wood lamppost on an deserted city street corner lit in a cone of amber light

Ya ready?

toying with him

                  ready or not didnt matter

it began again

                written interspersed with audio   voices he did not recognise

it did not relent

leftie jumpedup on the bed as was her routine

rousing him he defied the austere hypnopompic throb

                                                       opened his eyes  pet her

swept it away

                except for the brand on his brain

he made his bed performed his toiletry fed cats insideanout washed their dishes made coffee dry multigrain toast picked up The Rigor of Angels a pen a clipboard went out onto the back porch to read muse

the brand continued interrupting

                                   he couldnt quit thinking about it

early that afternoon his brother-in-law called invited him over to bullshithave a beer shoot some pool

he thought maybe that would get his mind off it

living in a rural community he took the long waythe backroads the dirt an graveled roads running between wire fences woodposts barbwire hayfields pastures grazing cows sheep horses

                                                                          pastoral    quiet

he kept his speed down

The END

END

      

    An acronym

thought he heard someonesomething clear their throat

Why not  he said over that

                             and as quickly Eternal Night’s Dream

wondered if now it would cease  

desist

rapped on his brothers door

                               IT’S UNLOCKED. COME IN.

inside he found him in the kitchen prepping vegetables for beef stew

                                                                         Thought you might stay for dinner.

Thas a fine idea I might

Wanna hear something queer

Most things out of your mouth are queer.  nodded Sure.

he related the dream

                        its looping assault

Death? Really?

                  Ya couldn’t have shared a hot sex dream with me?

I don kiss an tell

                   humoured himself he laughed   he felt better

Look at you smilin’.

                      Needed to get it off your chest.  Think that’ll do it?

Well see

Care for an edible?

Don mind if I do

Sunday,  18  8. 24

1217,  Thursday,  22  8. 24

437.

Is it really fourthirtyseven sixteenthirtysevenhundredhours

                                                               Or are you fuckin with mefuckin again with time because its not tha but because the number the time nearby appeals more

You don’t believe me?

    Don play poker

                        No

Fourthirtyfour. Though I’m fond of thirtyseven.

Ignoring bookends

Bookends?

Foursplease When I ask don lietell me the real time

What’s a minut . .

. . Or two three  five

I wouldn’t go five minut . .

. . Yawoud  Please

                      I know you

Then maybe you ought to start carrying a cellphone aroun . .

. . Why Yours is an appendage port  accoutrement

You say that asif it’s a bad thing.

It is

     Youre a slave

Do wha it tells you to do

No that’s not it, some things are importan . .

. . Yes Agree  Some

                      Howbout this When I ask lets pretend youre my bagman carrying the nuclear code

Im president I woudnt be carrying the bagcarrying a phone woud I

   I woudnt

Validate me

You’re not president.

Pretending

             Pretending so I can pretend the damn thing aint an irritant

I can try.

All I can ask

               Now it is

What?

Fourthirtyseven

It is. Yes.

So you got two fourthirtysevens

I suppose I did.

Yadid

       Anit digitalised too

Digitalised?

    You need to keep up with me

                                    Your time is digitaliseddon have to read hands

I could I could, I could program my phone so it’d display time asif the face of an old time clock.

Old time

          You know all the clocks in my house have hands except for the clock on the stove

Yes.

     But when I visit I keep my phone at the ready.

Unnecessarily

                You want the time I can tell you

No thank you.

    Digitalise

What of it?

Diddle

Diddle?  What?

Finger

         Whawoudya think women woud make of diddle

I imagine finger woud occur to them

Not digitalise

What the hell are you talking about?

Evident

          Playing a little game

Game?

Give women diddle an askem wha tha reminds them of

You have to be so crude?

You think women cant be

                            Just playing a game  Diddle woud present finger

Not digitalise

    Whod wannabe digitalised

day-between-2-Ts,  21  8. 24

0045,  Thursday,  22  8. 24