21.10.23


twisted like a worm penetrated by a fishhook
                                                        bait

couldnt help himself from baiting him
Why do you have to go there?

Because it troubles you so

It doesn’t . .
. . It does      Absolutely
he rolled his eyes

Ya gonna disagree   Absolute zero
                                     Zero degrees Kelvin minus twohunredseventythree degrees Celsius minus fourhunredfiftyninepointsixtyseven degrees Fahrenheit Absolute zero lowest limit of the thermodynamic temperature scale Ive been boning up state at which enthalpy an entropy of a cooled ideal gas reach their minimum value  Molecules atoms do not move

That’s theoretically absolute. Thermodynamics, if I’m not mistaken, has proven it is impossibl . .
. . Not necessarily  Possibly improbable but not impossible
                                                              Because understanding impossible correctly woud suggest it is an absolute   Physicists  Quantumphysicists may not be there just yet  but theyre mighty close

Then it is not an absolute, is it?

And  impossible
                   If impossible its already   absolutely not possible    Or am I incorrect

   Can we get off this ride?
One other thing
                    Authenticity Is tha an absolute    Either one is or they are not

I think that’s subjective.

Think or believe
                  Degrees of authenticity  Flip a silver dollar heads authentic tails inauthentic  One or the other

a stick in the mud I think it’s subjective.

By whos flipping it or if they let the coin hit the floor it balances perfectly on edgefalls  neither one way or the other

Now you’re being ridiculous.

Arent I usually  according to you 
                                   More often than not

More often.

But not absolutely ridiculous
Shaddup.

afternoon,  Monday,  4  9. 23
1258,  Saturday,  21  10. 23

Crosby, Stills and Nash  Suite: Judy Blue Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGT0P0XJRFM Free  

Free  Heartbreaker  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfNxuSjfPbw


laying out around the pool sipping something tall and cool  subtlehint of liquor he didnt ask what it was  was satisfied fingering the sweaty hurricane glass
                                        looked like there was a cherry in it
Is that a cherry

A Luxardo. she said looking over her sunglasses

I don know whatha is

Are you a cretin? still looking over her glasses

Possibly  not usually keen on foofoo drinks  An this is
                                                             Luxardo
An expensivevery expensive maraschino cherry.

he looked hard into her eyes over the top of her bronzelensed glasses
                                                                          This is the first cherry Ive ever had
In a drink

she pushed her glasses up on her face
What are you two talking about? her boy friend asked

Cherries

The Luxar . .
. . No  Cherries

he tipped his head like a cockerspaniel hafexpected him to scratch his ear with his foot too
                                                                                                 What cherries?

Have you had a cherry before

he looked at Bets What’s he talking about?

What he said. she said

Joe. What are you talking about?

As I said he exclaimed he was an idea guyplanted seeds they could grow into whatever they wanted

That’s loaded.

It is
       Bets Ya checkinout

I’m not interested in the conversation.

both Bets and Donnie had streaks of prude in themsometimes more than others   but always

First dates thought hed keep it in fruit
                                       Count as foreplay Anasone who says so theres no confusion where I stand  Not suggesting one way or the otherrather just to say   I think its foreplaybasic foreplay   It may also go no furthur

Jesu . .
. . Careful Donnie Lets not offend Bets sensibiliti . .
. . I’m not offended, I’m not as religious as you think I . .
. . You cite verse Im adverse

When it’s appropriate I don’t mean to offen . .
. . You don
               
You can’t offend Joe.

   No Bets Yacant
                     Ya have to care to be offended an I don care Youre welcome to all the verses youd like but knowagree  you cite em


I know I do.

So you two lets quit beatinround the bush an stick it in
                                                              First date foreplay
Do you have to say it like that?
Donnie

Really . . do you have to say it like that?

Ive said it two different ways an said what I think  The world aint gonna quit turning because of our answers

they lifted their glassessipped their drinks through straws 
                                                               he ditched his
they werent saying
unifying
          in quietude

Awright then Another subject
                                   Boob jobs Augmentation Or disarticulation   Disarticulation
he wasnt gonna say what he meant
                                      let em chew on it as they were chewing silently on one of several Luxardos in their drinks

he only had the one
                       he sucked on it noisily returned it artfully to his drink  savored his cherry
     
afternoon  2-ish,  Monday,  4  9. 23
1153,  Saturday,  21  10. 23


Robert Rauschenberg
                        a fascinating Cold War artist whos name he consistently misspelled Sorry Bob  Rawschemberg  which immediately disintegrated  Rochambeaugrr an Roshambogrr grr smalldog growl  Rock Paper Scissors
couldnt help himself
no filter
unbound
            was no Prometheus feeding eagles

although he was confident that Bobby wouldnt be offended if he were alive
                                                                                 certainly not the man who said
Nearly everything that I’ve done was to see what would happen if I did this instead of doing that . . . art shouldn’t have a concept.

which was exactly why he wrote
                                   to see where it went
traveled without a destination
                                or destiny

he didnt want to endup there

1220,  Thursday,  19  10. 23
1011,  Saturday,  21  10. 23

20.10.23


demeaning dementia

hes been called demented

took the caller to task

You know know always pronounced enthusiastically  he wished theyd be as enthusiastic about their lives half as much as they are about his what I’m talking about.

Lemme give it a shot 
                      Derives from the Latin de to undo mens meaning mind  therefore to say a person has dementia says that he or she has a disease process that undoes their mind whereas I am demented is tantamount to saying I no longer have a mind
                     Like making grapes into winewhine
gave him awry smile Frankly I don mind

Goddammit! he snarled he snarled only because he knew he wouldnt hauloff and belt him You think you’re so funny.

he had a family pass

hed sic Mommy or Daddy on him
                                    asif Mom or Dad had any influence or sway over him
he wasnt him

however he understood his touchiness

headmittedly was becoming forgetful
he couldnt forget if he tried
                            couldnt forget the enormous bluewater glass tank the three men he knocked into it jumped in after cut their throats with a razor knife
he thought their bodies would sink to the bottom
they hung suspended like puppets
on strings of their blood
                         couldnt forget going to a rural dirt road drive-in he entered it riding a motorcycle its name was Rear View art deco signage lit with lightbulbs above the stacked words were the yellow spectacled eyeswatching eyes of Dr T J Eckleburg  The Great Gatsby he negotiated the price of his ticket  I don have a trunk to hide people
couldnt forget the albino alligator palestblue eyes that stalked him through the swamp had to be frustratingstalked  might be too strong trailed him  the big lizard utterly too obvious
couldnt forget at a distance the gleaming pearlescent airport he parked his car nearby in a neighbourhood walked to climbed its security fence snipped the razorwire crossed the tarmac and snuck aboard a Douglas C-47 a twin-engine propjob that was chartered for Marilyn Monroe who soon boarded   Hiya Marilyn   Ohgood you made it. We’re going to have a ball. he appreciated her enthusiasm
                                               couldnt forget
was abetted by a long long memory


   he was tempted to shake his brothers head and listen if a pea rattled around inside

1101,  Thursday,  19  10. 23
1158,  Reggaefriday,  20  10. 23


“Are we ourselves?


   “One of them is asking. One of them thinks this is a rhetorical question: there’s continuity of memory, and that makes a self. A self is whoever remembers being that self.

   “One of them corrects: Continuity of memory filtered through endocrine response.

   “One of them corrects: We all remember being that self, are we are not the same.” *
                                                                                            a triad
How nice he thought being only three twos a company threes a crowd he smiled appreciatively  shehes heshes couldnt resist smiled with him  Whaof my myriad they nodded  they ran circuits percolated collated were subtle ran roughshod sometimes meteoric others tumbled like tumbleweeds stumbled like bums
                                                                              a self is whoever remembers being that self . . . continuity of memory filtered through endocrine response . . . we are not the same

We are he looked across the room inside himself at the myriad he understood they helped maintainworked together with him for his bodys and psychological equilibrium equiltlibrium eustasis  tides

was dumb luck
was fortune

   spidereyed compoundedeyes faceted facile 
                                                    it took him a long timehis childhood to bring together the concerted concert consorts cons thick as thieves  inspiring  aspiring  rarely despairing

and because of them he thoughtindulged Why not rather than Why


are we ourselves
                     only if we know ourself
1430ish,  Thursday, 19  10. 23
1019,  Reggaefriday,  20  10. 23
*pg347  A Memory Called Empire  Arkady Martine
Uriah Heep  Look At Yourself  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMMrazRIdx4

19.10.23


must have thought it was a butterfly
                                          though not a very smart butterfly
it was smarter than thatthey were smarter than that
                                                         but maybe not  he couldnt differentiate one from another
maybe the few he interacted with were females  his natural inclination assumed they were
as was his experience with females of his species 

he was inclined to say females of most species were smarter than the males

   shrubjays 
               the California edition

like bluejays the East of the Rockies edition 
                                               an never the two shall meet naturally the mountains unless a preternatural shrub or blue was undaunted which made him think of Bachs Jonathan Livingston Seagull 
                                                                                                               had to read it like he had to get highhad to take LSDhad to do other psychedelics
                                                                       had to exceed natural impediments

he used an old beatup tin cup actually a TWO CUP measure to feed kibble to his feral outdoor cats

having fed the four of them he set the cup down on the porch railing kibbles remained he had thought he heard something over his head he looked didnt see anythingHide ‘n Seek jay concealed itselfsquatted in the raingutter 

then walking away on the wraparound overlooking the sideyard to say Gmornin to his white sage Ayo – Joy English walnut Eye Idi – Eagle Skinny he still had no idea what Skinny was she was tall and slender and Slim she was also an English walnut although he did not transplant her 
                                                         and saying hello he heard a scuffle a dullring of the tin cup on the redwood deck
saw a shrubjay leapaway
                             it tried to land on it feed like a sparrow at seed

the heavyweight stood on the blacktop drive bobbing waiting  waiting for him to toss the spilt kibble to it
Boid
      they all were Boids
he couldnt distinguish one from another but it or they humoured him by their willingness to eat catfud

as it was
           he was trying different canned dogfoods to determine which appealed to his taste budswhich texture appealed most
Dinki-Di
           couldnt find it
Mad Max in Mad Max 2 turned him onto the idea
                                                    nourishment to get him through his old age

   he did say females were smarter

1349,  Saturday,  20  5. 23
1616,  Thursday,  19  10. 23


AI

not Ai  definitely not Ai Shinozakidefinitely not   Obrutha

   he had a bitch about AI a virulent resentment   abjection

“ . . . no algorithm (is) innocent of its designers. It couldn’t be. There was an originating purpose for an algorithm, however distant its past – a reason some human person made it, even if it had evolved and folded in on itself and transformed. A city(society) run by. . . an algorithm had . . . initial interests embedded in it. A city(society) run by an algorithm designed to respond to . . . desires was not innocent of those same  . . . desires, magnified, twisted by machine learning. A city(society) run by an algorithm . . . could suddenly rise up against anyone . . . designated . . .”  

he couldnt have said it better

page287  A Memory Called Empire  Arkady Martine
finally 
        someone saw it as he did 
AIs inherent foible  Achilles Heel
                                   that it is not purenot innocent  a machine cant be unless it is a hand tool  hammer  saw  rake  hoe  a 0 or a 1  compounded tools  pliers  pinchers  hedge shears 
                                                                                       lights go out  theyll still work

when the Lights Go Out 

will libraries have remained

paper texts remained

human curiosity remained

creativity remained 

who will be carrying the fire

   he thought out loud a lot LOUDLY

1634,  day-between-2-Ts,  18  10. 23
1239,  Thursday,  19  10. 23

https://lithub.com/what-is-it-really-like-inside-a-sensory-deprivation-tank/?utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Lit%20Hub%20Daily:%20October%2019%2C%202023&utm_term=lithub_master_list


they didntwhoever they were didnt have to bait him
                                                       didnt have to tempt him   tempt him to turn a blind eye 
thats why he had eyes 
                           two  fuckin   eyes

they planted succulents in a red True Temper wheelbarrow

don put pies on a windowsill to cool
                                     think he couldnt smellcouldnt see how wonderful they were
Mrs Garzino wasnt second to a single aspiringmother in the neighbourhood he watched his mother elbow to elbow with her learning how to make a lemon meringue pie for his birthday cake

it wasnt until they moved from the old neighbourhood that he had a pie his mother made all by herself he wasnt surecouldnt say that any of his pies werent Mrs Garzinos
she crushed it

he hadnt had another lemon meringue that bested hers until his girlfriend set her mind to it

she crushed it 
               and it was with notable pride that he told her hallie had which did not endear hallie to her  that wasnt his intent a no-brainer   he told her Im just telling you the truth  Never thought Id ever tell you that  I was amazed
lotsa women had tried and were found wanting
not that he didnt appreciate their efforts


the succulents in the wheelbarrow

the tire wasnt flat

like Mrs Garzinos pie on the windowsill
                                          they went with him in broad daylight
they went with him

which is different than taking them

   anyone could see that

1346,  Saturday,  20  5. 23
1202,  Thursday,  19  10. 23
Oh The Larceny  Man on a Mission  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OckkpXgYpvc

18.10.23


a banner day an eveningabsolutely banner few get better than today

hes a kind of guy who stopsstoops picks up a pennyBenjamin Franklin A penny saved is a penny earned. he actually wrote in 1737 Poor Richard’s Almanac A penny saved is two pence clear. pence penny foundnot spent hence two pence saved
hed propose a found penny is a penny earned
                                                 but thats him
however
          earlier in the day crossing a bridge built in 1931 loves that bridge walkingreading Benjamin creeped up on him a $100 billBenjaminSHIT WHO FINDS A ONEHUNREDDOLLAR bill   he did thatll put a hop in your step

NOW he wasnt going to save that entire windfall part would provide a celebratory beer after dinner he went out for a beerone beer at a favourite tavern he hadnt been to in a long while he called it a tavern it was a brewpub they made a dropdead doubleIPA hed have a pint an call it a night

   NIGHT  just as he said

walking homecoudnt read in the dark he found a quarter and a penny in separate places
                                                                                             was on a roll
cherry on top the sundae
                            walking back to his small house on secluded hill through the neighbourhood lookinround something he couldnt do while reading he looked up into an apartment complex windows flickeringblue lit by televisions flatscreens one though  one  flickered ivorylit a frosted bathroom window an in it a silhouette  profile
buxom woman vigorously drying her hair  she stopped   brieflybobbled her breasts
                                                                                          turning awaysmiling he hoped she topped her shower bath off with babypowder or a perfumed talcum
                                                                            he would give her the benefit of a doubt given what she gave him

   cherry

1349,  Saturday,  20  5. 23
1348,  day-between-2-Ts,  18  10. 23
Esther Phillips  What a Difference a Day Makes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1_vsu2DyLs
or a cover by Satomi Kowase, Miku Yonezawa & Etsuji Ogawa  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYbIDdpB4JM


he didnt mean to be that way

he was  innately
              it was the way he arrivedwas wired
dark things occurred to him quicker than pretty or colourful or wonderful bright things endearing things
                                                                                                              he was many things  endearing wasnt one
brusque
confrontational
brother-in-law called him contrary
                                    which he took offence his brother-in-law wasnt discerning  Mary, Mary, quite contrary . . .   wha did that have to do with making a garden grow a nursery rhyme 
                                                                                           no nursery would have him rather  no nursery in its right mind
outside of hospitals there were no nurseries
                                               theyre called daycares
Mommy and Daddy have to work as hard as possible to support themselves an onetwo children  three children   whos nuts


he was listening to reports of Hamas attack on Israel
                                                             listening
he dimmed his television screen so he couldnt see images
his imagination was plenty enough
he didnt need to see war porn

classic  If it bleeds it leads

listening it was reported there was an acute shortage on body bagsPLEASE  excuse him all the way to Hell and back
an acute shortage of body bags . . .   its what we do          
                                                        were the people who created meat factories
chicken
swine
cattle
human being
              we can cellophanewrap shrinkwrap anything that was alive

shortage of body bags
                        somebody was driving up the pricesome purveyors prettyhuh makin bank

1744,  Monday,  16  10. 23
1139,  day-between-2-Ts,  18  10. 23
sorry Alice Cooper  I Love the Dead  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpKGfFw8FEA
   I did said  wired


when he was outside he wasnt 
                                        he was walking a book


actually he couldnt take credit for walking a book or bookwalker 
                                                                    a sundressed floppyhat mother of a Seventh grade girl said You’re him.   Who   Him.   Whos him   The man who walks and reads. My daughter and her girlfriends call you the bookwalkerO I’m so excited to tell her I actually talked to you.   he smiled warmly Thank you thas a mighty big compliment I appreciate you sayin so   I’m so excited . . ohmy . . . HA . I forgot where I parked.  she giggled nervously Have a fine day   I am oh I am, and you helped make it.

she remembered where she parked her car
                                              or he believed she did because after they said goodbye she headed off deliberately

he returned to the book he was walking and reading  

1739,  Monday,  16  10. 23
1108,  day-between-2-Ts,  18  10. 23


a new wrinkle  that takes the cake   or just good oldfashion horseshit


he Googled wrioter for shits and giggles
                                          About (? – whas tha about – shoudnt an algorithm know the count – brags about the time it took)  708 results  (0.28 seconds)

at the top of the page  wrioter.com
                                    but  first time hes seen
Writier  in fifth place

Writier – AI Powered Writing Assistant

“Our long-form editor is the best way to write content that can compete with professional writers.”
                                                                                                        CUNT no offence to women they know a cunt when they see one  whomever would utilise Writier 
hes read several ChatGPTs “. . . an AI-powered language model developed by OpenAI, capable of generating human-like text based on context and past conversations.”                                                                                                                                human-like text and it is he found the ChatGPTs bland sterile colourless  if he ran into a human-like human hed have nothing to do with them and he has
                                                                                                   Writier “can compete with professional writers” is a far cry from “generating human-like text”

   5th place concludes he went no furthur because well  when it comes time to fuck would he want to fuck a machine or a human being “Powered by GPT-3, a machine learning-model that has been . . .” he went no further because well he wasnt a CUNT

   such horseshit


children have been dumbed down
books banned
Musks Neuralink
always shortcuts
Time-savers
excuses

                       whaelse woud he expect
2337,  2sday, 17  10. 23
1023,  day-between-2-Ts,  18  10. 23
he thought Chill woudya stepback stepaway  take a fuckin breath  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqHdz3dA2WE