Epiphanies

               What about you

she pursed her lips he almost came across the stool to kiss her they looked like beggin fruit

but they had only just been introduced

                                        she might think him forward

She may like forward 

Yawanna shaddup

Shoud I 

        Ive seen you gamble before

Not in the first ten minutes

Feels longer  Feels like youve known her longer

It does

        Doesnt it

Its okay we agree

                    Epiphanys perfect

You know where this is going

We talk around the water cooler

Its not been ten minutes

No  But your epiphanys not much older 

                                              We got your back

I appreciate everyones support

Just another reason why we signed on

she thought with her lips pursed

Youre killing me

   Im being thoughtful.  Its not often . . not often for me rather . I don’t know about you . however it hasn’t been my experience to be tendered a . . . such a . considerable . . question.

Inside ten minutes

Ten minutes?

                It feels longer.

Thas wha Iwe thought too

she finally blinked though nothe was sure at his we

                                                         Are you asking me or are you wanting to share an epiphany?

You have themthought so

Yes.   I do.

Is it ten minutes yet

I think you’ll have broken the record if you didn’t say for . . . until the next time we met.

Id like to meet again too

Are you asking me out?

I thought you just did

                       I don stand on traditions or rules  each is meant to be broken

Id be thrilled to go out with youthank you

he thought she couldnt quit blinking

                                     they really came on hard

Ah . . ah I . . . yes.

Where woud we gowhere were you thinking

when her mouth opened she quit blinking

                                           now the trick was keeping her mouth open

I was thinking about epiphanies not . . . where . . or . dating you.

No matter Im happy you askedgives me something to really look forward to

   I don’t know how that happenedhow’d that happen?

You  Me  Us   Them

Them?

Feelings

          Theyre more than feelings   Whoa oh ooh feelings

That’s a song.

It is

Epiphanies

Care to share

              An because weve just met you woudnt know but it falls to mewill always falls to me to say first so you have a keen understanding where Im coming fromwha my feelings are I dislike people who wannaplay gotcha or ambush

   It falls to you?

Yes  No surprises 

                   Transparency  Cross your arms Im undressing you 

she threw her arms Oh my God! across chest

Too late

        My my my my my 

You’re nuts.

Crazy

      Its too soon to talk about my nuts   Unless you insist

No.

Epiphany

           It occurred just before I turned around when Ryan hailed me to introduce us I love to touch I love to massage to caress  Although Im not keen on being touched

What made you think that?

If I liked being touched likely  I woud have had a massage by now

You haven’t ever had a massage?

No Ive no interest in having one but Im all over giving them

   I like massages.

Id love to massage you

                         he cleared his throatfist to his mouth     An epiphany

Ya gotta be kiddin’. You derailed my whole train of thought. 

                                                                  Give me some time?

Yabetcha he lookedup at the clock above the bar Weve known each other all of not twenty minutes

1225,  2sday,  5  9. 23

2144,  2sday

Morris Albert  Feelings  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIspfWvkgzg

   polite companies those that reeked politenessfor those he was grateful he wasnt invitedhe wasnt a good fit

those which he didnt hear of   were wise decisions by their hosts and hostesses

                                                                                      wiser than they knew

and when inevitably one slipped a party a gathering was heldtheir expressions so pained 

                                                                                              Nono alleviating their concern

I know you know it wasnt smart to invite me

   he had a penchant for disrupting polite company

like shell on hardboiled eggs

                              that hed rap crack roll then slowly  deliberately  deliciously pickoff in small bits he did his damnedest to avoid those pieces suspects that might clingtogetherunfurl per the connecting membranefilm between the shell and egg

they looked like they wanted to pick a fight

                                             but

they didnt want to muss themselves

                                        or mar

their fine clothes

often the men let their women fight their battles

although he was an equal-opportunity offender 

                                               women werent off the menu

although

          rare he found a worthy opponent

SHRILL mostly 

               momentarilyhefeltbad for the pair

he shouldnt say opponentit wasnt like he was looking for a fight

usually it was brought to him

an inane comment

   inane in the air tasted like shit in his mouth on his tongue 

                                                               he wasnt going to have that

host hostesses wore that effete expression Can’t you just let it go?

NO

   inanity needs to be nipped in the budimmediately long ago he accepted the what-some-might-consider unsavory assignment  of being an abrupt budnipper interrupter of coddled status quo

statuses did not appeal to him

                                 therefore

he was a natural

naturally contrary

an eristic

          his attemptassist to provide a heuristic experience for whoevers toes he stepped on whomever he interrupted

no inanity on his watch

1000,  Saturday,  2  9. 23

1111,  2sday,  5  9. 23

Billy Joel  You May Be Right  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ilsv0C1-aBw

Steve Roach  The Other Side  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGOPaEOX4sU

tingly  ticklish    thingification

                                       when he read it   wait for it     he wondered if that was a thing

it is

it is not a thing in the New Oxford American Dictionary, Second Edition, 2005        

looking for it he did find thiopental a drug  used as a general anesthetic and hypnotic (reputedly) a truth serum

thi-open-tal

thiopental is a thing 

   2005 was eighteen years ago a lot can happen

                                                             a girl raped denied an abortion forcibly made to birth leaves the baby at a fire station  

Googled thingification

                       in a roundabout way he did find itfinding also verdinglichung  literally thingification “making into a thing” from Marxist philosophy the conversion of a subject into an object as when a worker becomes a commodity commodified commodeified he was riffin

                                                           woud love to have the letters to fill it in on a Scrabble board an blow his competitors mind 

closing his eyes ran with thing

                                thingies     heard of Anthropocene

lets not doff our capscurtsey yet again admire ourselves in bright shiny mirrors of self  our lackluster dismal inability to not understandtruly stand under our place on the planet

were full of shit

philosopher Glenn Albrecht his book Earth Emotions

                                                        he suggests replacing Anthropocene with Symbiocene hed second it but likelymore likely multiplethousandthing it an epoch characterised in terms of social organisation “by human intelligence lets not get wayway ahead of ourselvespat ourselves on the back that replicates the symbiotic and mutually reinforcing life-reproducing forms and processes found in living systems . . . such as the wood wide web.”

there is that

   beats the pants off thingification

1132,  Sunday,  3  9. 23

1237,  Monday – Labour Day,  4  9. 23

https://www.e-flux.com/journal/15/61296/art-and-thingness-part-two-thingification/

Kahrist he thought wha feeble flagfolders

                                              two men struggling to fold an American flag

Don let it touch the ground assholes

Yah assholes shehe heshe echoed an sneered  Yathink theyre teachers

Thasayah Annex to the Fine Arts Academy

You havent been inside

No  It formed after my girls graduated high school A bit of a disappointment  I hoped itd be middle through high  Fourth through Eighth

Nevertheless Formulative  Helpful yah

   nodding Indubitably

they chuckled Oughtave seen your face  Ya looked 

                                                           Indubitably tickled

I am he grinned large  I really like the word

Whasthabout

Wanna look behind the shutters

Is tha an invite

It is One of few Ill offer

Your look is ah predatory  carnivorous

Is it

It is  Yaknow I think Ill leave well enough alone  I refuse to be baited . .

. . Baited

   Ya heard me

Woud I bait you 

Yahyawoud So no matter how sweetened by temptation I believe Ill let slide one of few invites youll extend me

Coward  Suit yourself

   It was sexual

Definitely

Thaswha I thought

Makes me wonder 

                      Ifyawere a heshe shehe rather than otherwise woudya have bought in

Please Gimme a break was there but they didnt saydidnt waste their breath Its not to say I wasnt tempted

Yawere

Yah their head bobbing Im not were not yare certainly not a prude

Not a prude bone in our bodies No polite company here

Correct

Yah

   A hint

Indubitably

Is tha a question or an affirmation

Whadaya think

I don think I believe an affirmation

Correct

Whydoncha  we  ever say right

Because right directs conversations  Its dropped at the end of sentence to encourage at worse coerce whoever is listening to agree with the comment right

                                            A rhetorical devise  Right

I understand

Stand under 

             To understand is to stand under which is to look up to which is a good way to understand.

Who said tha You were quoting

I was Corita Kent  Pop Art nun

Thank you for reminding me Which circles us back to Fine Arts Academy

                                                                                 But not before indubitably Your smiles sly

Sexually sly

Yes Ive seen hunreds of times before

Beenround a while huh

Sign at the door  More the Merrier

I didnt know tha

Of course not

                     Be tha as it may their expression nonplus

Lets get tha lookoff your face

My nonplus puss

                   I practise it    It is disconcerting isnt it

It is

I also actually have a nonplus plus puss  Innarested 

No

    Its gymnastics have to hurt

A bit but good to have in ones repertoire

As indubitably is

How

A looselipped headshook application between the thighs right to the heart

OH my

        T M I

he smiled wolfishly  pleased as punch

1250,  Reggaefriday,  1  9. 23

1023,  Monday,  4  9. 23

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2018/apr/22/corita-kent-the-pop-art-nun

he was boiling sugarwater – last time – for hummingbirds – they quit showing  and  had shes best on her back cross his mind

         which

wasnt something hed think

made him wondered where the infection came from

he imagined his worthless brother-in-law

                                           but hed been dead sweetsixteen years

dead sweetsixteen upset some people

letem be upset 

               he thought it spoke plainly for his contemptdislike of his piece of shit brother-in-law

were he alive

              hed bet dollars to donuts he thought the same of him

try as he may he couldnt convince his wife

he couldnt convince his wife evenafter his brother-in-law punched hergave her a black eye

Really

He didn’t mean it.

People mean to give people black eyes

she looked askant

                    He didn’t mean to.

If I gave you a black eye youd have me arrested And rightly so    You give him a pass

   He didn’t mean it.

Is this the shit one tells themselves a lie over an over an over an over again until they believe it you came back on the plane the whole while lying to yourself so when I saw you youd say he didnt mean it so I don get on a plane an break his face

He didn’t mean it.

Then Tell your brother

                        If I see him Im breaking his face  No hello    Wha a cunt

Please please don’t use that wor . .

. . Whas your worddescribe your brother

                                               As a matter of fact I don care  Get on the phone tell him its not a threat its a fuckin promise  Ill give you five minutes ifnot Im callin four minutes fiftyseven seconds

walking out of the kitchen past the phone on the wall he slapped the wall above itglanced at the kitchen clock opposite it

she called

never did see him

though twice he didnt go with his family to his father-in-laws house so he didnt beat him senseless

hed beat him senseless

his wife bundled up their girls

he kissed the three of them goodbye

told her to drive safely please call him when she arrived

she said she would

I love you

I love you.

his brother-in-law believed that a woman was only good for one thing  on her back

a good woman

               she was all over the place  ALL OVER THE PLACE

his brother-in-law was myopic unimaginative

                                                a real Blueblood cunt  entitled  privileged

ask him if he had a regret Yah not a snaky nanosecond passed some people were disturbed how quickly he responded

Yah I didnt beat my brother-in-law senseless

some people a lot of people

                           could suck his dick

 

424preferred,  Reggaefriday,  11  11. 22

1421,  Saturday,  2  9. 23

NIN  Not Anymore  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJztazY65Mw

Iring

buddy nodded approvingly after her as she trottedskipped walked off after shyly kissing him goodbye on the cheek

a ways down the mall she did a flawlessly revolution smiled waved he waved back earnestly  she was checkingas always to see if he was watching her he watched until he couldnt see her any longer always 

                                                                                                     She’s something.

Iring Yes she is

Iring.  Irene. When you introduced us you said her name was Irene.

It is Iring is our pet name

                            Tickles usreminds us when we first met

How did you meet?

Innocuously his eyes roved side to side witnessing it again Innocently 

                                                                       Completely unexpectedly 

Lotsa –lys.

high in his chest Yah

Come on, snap out of it.

                          She’s a catch, a beauty. You’re telling me yadidn’t scope her out before you approached her.

Never saw her before

Where did you meet?

In the library At the bank of computers facing each other separated by the translucent partition

I know it.

At the end

By the printers.

Yes The seat openedI sat down quickly saw a shadow opposite me got right to work needed to get in an out

If you got yourself a lapto . .

. . No

       Not therewas there long enough to log-in across from me I heard a sneeze I said godblessyou she   she said thank you I kept working

I got wha I needed inside ten logged-out stood to print-out my work glanced over the partition at her she lookedup

Good afternoon

She smiled goodafternooned me I collected my printing and leavingwalking behind her I wished her a good day 

She sneezed

I said I  I hope youre not allergic to me

She laugheddidnt cover her mouth

You and your comment if a woman covers her mouth or not when she laughs.

Not covering not selfconscious natural  If she were alone she woudnt cover her mouth when she laughed   Right

   I’ve never thought of it that way.

Youre welcome

No, I’m not allergic to you.

Thank goodness  Have a fine day

You too.

I left

You left? Just like that.

Was hustling off to class

Then I ran into herliterally  ran into her outdoor Commons  She was with some friendshad stepped back laughing as I came around the corner blind corner had to grab her so I didnt knock her ass over teakettle

You 

Had to looked like I was dipping her

You. she said startled

Joe

Joe.

Me Joe   You . .

Still in the swooned pose she laughs again  I think shes out of body seated with her friends looking at us

Must be  She laughs harder yet

I stoodhelping her upright

Thank you.

Youre welcome

You.  Joe. she thumped herself on the chest  Me.  I – rene 

                                                              But as she finishing her name the passing bell ringsdrowning her out

When it finished ringing I said  You   I  Ring  Iring

Yes.  

Shes laughing again

Mouth uncovered?

Yes 

She says  You.  Joe.  Me.   Iring.

An Joe gotta go Iring  Class

                               Believe Ill see ya again

I left her with her friends

Couple of days later going up stairs for class A Building behind this girl admiring her fanny she loses a book Since it was at her hip I saw it working its way free I caught it as it fell she halfturnedswitched her other books into her left

Got it I said

            I look up

We got to quit meeting like this, Joe.

Iring

You’re one and only.

Yes Yes you are

We walked up to the landingstopped Made a date there 

                                                              Ive been seeing her since

Only her?

Beginning to feel thaway

0550,  Saturday,  2  9. 23

1155,  Saturday

Dead Can Dance  The Host of Seraphim  (light  ardor  purity)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hThAlY3Q2Kw

   dumbfounded   before he took another step he went to the dictionary and found there were 37 similars for the past-tense 37 similars for dumbfound

                                      typically he was dumbfounded 

after the fact

if he found dumb

he usually shookem not wanting to have anything to do with em

before bed in bed before readingtrying to shake off one too many bowls he decided he didnt its wha he did to write compose

                 evidently he hadnt enough earlier  FACKcomposed throughout the day to either side of taking his sister for their her  twice-a-year walk remembering

                                                       he doggedlyadamantly protected their walks  the walks of many others too 

Kiss my assIm busy  unapologetically

     

fossil trace ichnology which recording for future reference misspelled inchology had dumbfounded him  rather its sense

the sign left in the rock record by the impress of life rather than life itself & marks that the dead and the missed leave behind

        dumbfounded

   

so freestyling refusing to make a vertical list reminded him of honey-dos his buddies wives made for them seemed to him that women liked their demands listed vertical  his wife didnt that was nipped in their courtship she was welcome to make all the lists she wanted for herself

                                              she was exceptional at it

freestyling

             he wrote dumbfounded – deer in the headlights – moth to flame – dog on a bone – trout rising to a fly – shark to blood – bee to honey

                                  temptation   tempted

Christ  Its all temptation

   then

it becomes a trial of willpower

which can be abruptly delineated

heads or tails

if one were so inclined 

he wasnt

heads or tails  morals  good or bad   invocations

an in-between the bi-section is non-existent

either-or

   he paused

pretty black-white

   he thought

when an unassuming geode its all a matter of scale is the size of a room that you can walk into pour yourself a drink put on a record relax in an easy chair

                                     when its all around you

you can breathe it

rub your feet on it

brush static electricity into your hair

bathe in it

   then

its just you-who you think you are

you can indulge yourself savor  finish your drink

luxuriate in your temptation

   then

be who you are 

                                      fascinating

nicest thing about the geode

theres no door

just an opening 

                   readied for the next trial of confidence

2200,  Thursday,  31  8. 23

1204,  Reggaefriday,  1  9. 23

his reallyearly morning sidekick leftie hopped deftly up onto the bed at his feet scurriedup between his legs onto his body and laidout full length on top him for him to scratch her chin stroke her sides shoulders her spine itd been going on for months  her routine   his 

                                     he liked routines     

her purring pickingup her body going limp as she began to fall asleep he took a couple deliberate deepbreaths and went to see if he could catchup with her

eyes closed inside them darkeningdarkeninglying there   the word receipt occurred to him

thered been a lot of talkinghead remarking receipts  lots of courts had deliberated and were handing down sentences to the guilty having determined their justified retribution  providing them their due

before everything went completely blackbefore  he was absorbedabsolved hypnagogic hallucinations which wasnt really true   there is neither hypnagogic nor hypnopompic hallucinations for a lucid dreamer they may pick a place a time characterskick things off  but beyond those introductions GAME ON  all his doing

receipts

acquisitions

art on his walls leaning against them

books on his shelves and tables desks nightstands stacks on the floor 

vinyl records

DVDs  

CDs

   receipts

letters

postcards

destinations 

   evidence  proof of existence

right up to the last breath  maybe moments longer if their last breath is recognised                                                                                  

Deathtination  deserved its capitalisation

 

It was a mansion  and while the host wanted everyoneall the pretty people to accompany him to the stateroomthe host looked like himwas him he laughed like a mischievous boy and tuggingfree his tie he sprinted up the wide staircase smelling bathsalts in hot water flushed female flesh . . .    

0710,  Reggefriday,  1  9. 23