she didnt visit college or university campuses with any thought of attending them  just wanted to get the lay of the land see how the other half lives Half wha a joke  those from the other side of the tracks 

she was happy where she grew up 

it struck her that they wouldnt ever be happy  felt shortthrifted no matter

she was pretty 

attracted some of those boys

they thought idiots they could have their way with hershe would be grateful

she bit lipspunched noses could fly like the wind 

                                                       What happened to your face?   That bitch! 

she was proud of her status

a girlfriend made her a tie-dyed tshirt emblazoned in blackprint BITCH another knitted her a sweater babyblue B on her left breast

                they didnt go to school beyond high a crime  they were so smartso talented  their parents didnt see the advantage for them to attend  but couldnt afford it either  It's an adventure.

                                                                                 Adventure  Really  

she was sure their parents had no idea their daughters potential

                                                                    they would have crushed it

she took a bus to the University of Chicago 

                                             took in its campus the architecture saw the students congregatingpassing between classes  eyeballed the school professionals the professors

she hoped they were happy

   they struck her as more serious than a cemetery 

130preferred,  Reggaefriday,  30  12. 22

1105,  New Years Day – Sunday,  1  1. 23

Joy Division  I Remember Nothing   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yWHFM6zT1U

having sat upscratching his bedhead  absently Wha are the chances

she was right therebeside him taskmaster first  Ifya like we can figure it out.

he smiledshook his head no 

                             No no  lets lay here a moment longer on the heels of his hands he shifted his hips downlaid back  Just an expression

An idiom.

he was looking at the ceilingblinked rolled onto his elbow to face her  Yes beautiful an idiom  I coud swear some mornings you wakeseems you had your morning coffee wayway ahead of the game

she smiled mischievously Sometimes feels that way.   bunched her nose

Id happily be your donut 

she gave him a quick jab with her elbow  You are my donut.

they laughed they tickled themselves    

What were you thinking?

I wasntya know me shit occurs

                                  I coudwe coud figure the chances count the nights in my life wed have the odds  First time ever

You’d recall if you had before.

I woudyes 

   Sharing?

Yes 

     I share everything with you

she smiled reassured 

                       there will always be a part of herno matter how well she knows his words are gospel that she needs to be reassured

he didnt mind she was cheated as a child   she absorbed those slights long before they met

                                                                                                    Farfetched

You went a long way to get it.

I did 

      I fetched

Then to your credit. Many woudnt. 

                                       Did you throw it? 

I lost it  I was perturbed I had 

                                I farfetched all night 

Found it.

Yes.

What was it?

he smiled bemused Possibly the best part  No sooner had I found itwas aware I had it vanishedFARFETCHED in both ears waking me 

I felt you start.

I felt me start Jolted 

Are you okay?

I am thank you How can I not be 

                                    Ive you an found something farfetched

throughout the AM,  New Years Day – Sunday,  1  1. 23

0957,  New Years Day

Damien Rice  Lonelily  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGpNqjlZe1s

I think a father owes his son.    

   Wha    Excuse me

I mean . . he ought to provide for him.

Provide wha for him 

                      An until when Id assume a worthwhile father woud provide for their children while they are children however  since you expressly said son when hes olderleaves home  those provisions are on him   He provides for himself

I think everyone enjoys having more.

Not everyone is fortunate

I guess I’m saying if a father has an abundance it should come to his son.

Thas an interesting perception

Do you disagree?

Id rather he has wha hes earned 

                                       Not nepotism   Not gross inheritance

   But there’s nothing wrong if that’s the case.

Talkin to the wrong guy

                           Tha perpetuates inequality  Thas greed 

But only because your father isn’t wealthy.

I don know  He an I don talk money 

                                       If there were an abundance I know what I need  Beyond needing Id spread it around to worthwhile people organisations

I won’t.

No Ya wont  

130preferred,  30  12. 22

2120,  Saturday,  31  12. 22

Peter Paul & Mary  If I Had a Hammer  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGMOB2K78iM

Who are you inviting to the IQ Test Death?

Christ he hated that lookthey were just talkinbout it he didnt have two headshair cut shabbily 

                                                                                                     IQ Test Death

IQ Death Test.

No 

     Too easy Not IQ Death Testsounds too much like I doth detest protest methinks   IQ Test Death      

   They're the same. 

No 

    Get it through your head    Who are you inviting to the wakethe burial

You’re referring to the IQ Test?

Fuckin brilliant though your Richard Feynman certainly turned it on its headdidnt he Scored onehunredtwentyfour  Wha does tha say about your beloved test

Two things

              he crossed his arms over his chest as if saying Two things suspendedshutdown the conversationhis inquiry

Ohno no no Continue  I aint deducingthis is your little bundle of joy Two things  Name one an two

terrible to have to provoke him to answer simply

One . . the test is faulty . .

. . Invalid 

          Yes it is  he began noddingsnorting like a bobblehead on amphetamines roughcut cocaine ricocheting throughoutacross his sinuses  maybe his eyes bleeding

                                                            I don need to hear number two  your one is spot on

You should hear it, you got a hard-on for IQ . .

. . Intelligence quotient . .

. . Yes . . continue to think . .

. . Believe 

             Believe emotional quotient EQ makes for a superior mind  a better person

It doesn’t! 

Your opinion 

               But fuck this foray weve been through it a hunred times  Feynman onetwentyfour  Einstein onesixty or someone else  Maybe Feynman was an overachiever  A lesser score outperforming your holy IQ Test 

                                                                                                           Who you inviting 

Don’t get ahead of yourself.

                              I’d say the IQ Test is probably ninetyseven percent accurate                  

Despite Feynman blowing a gaping hole in it JesusChrist 

                                                             Awright awright  Lets challenge your random ninetyseven percent horseshit assessment    

Try as you may.

Oh I will 

          Ninetysevens a pretty hefty number

It is.

We agree 

           So lets run an application

Alright.

Im glad we agree

Yes.

   So 

       Yare familiar with the potency of fentanyl

Not precisely.

Ill precisely you Milligram a thousandth of a gram  A gram is zeropointzerothreefive of an ounce thirty grams approximately an ounce Two milligrams of fentanyl is considered lethal by the FDA Federal Drug Administration It is nearly fifty times more potent than heroinnearly onehunred times more potent than morphine

Okay.

Were clear

I heard you.

Lets say you bought some cocaineyou like cocaine . .

. . Let’s not get personal.

Embracing a fraught intelligence test at ninetyseven percent is kinda personal

                                                                                  Maybe the cocaine you bought was tainted with fentanyl  You snortin that fat selfassured nintyseven percent line bro 

                                                                                     Feynman upset the applecart proved it faulty despite which  you still come swinging through the jungle like Tarzan asserting an obscene accuracy  I say bring some skin into the game  Yours   Still snortin

Two-ish preferred,  Reggaefriday,  30  12. 22

1430,  Saturday,  31  12. 22

https://www.statnews.com/2016/09/29/why-fentanyl-is-deadlier-than-heroin/

https://fs.blog/intellectual-giants/richard-feynman/

JesusChrist man 

                     She opened the door anya didnt follow her infollow through  Shitty shitty gamesmanship

What are you talking about?

I thought you said you were interested in her She liked your resume ya liked hers

Yeah, that’s how online dating works.

Its not supposed to remain online

Remain online, how do you mean?

Skyping Facetime Snapchatwhaever the fuck not my bowl of Cheerios

I text, email, call.

Sounds cumbersome 

                       I recall you met her face-to-face once upon a time an it seemed to go off well

Was a long way to travel for a date . .

. . Not if you were courageous

   Courageous?

ERR cleared his throat 

                        When she opened the door an you didnt follow her in . .

. . You’ve said . .

. . I have 

             Are you dense

I must be, I didn’t follow her in.

Ya familiar with add-on gymnastics trampolineTramp how fuckin apropos

Now you’re really losing me.

Add-on Somebody throws a trickTrick how fuckin apropos . . 

. . You gonna quit patting yourself on the back and say what you mean?

Yahyah seems Im gonna hafta paint the picture and frame it tooADD-ON . . 

. . You’ve said!

On the trampoline someone throws a trickmore than two can playHOW fuckin apropos After the completing the first trick the next person throws another trick atop the first So on so forth  Follow 

No.

Jesusya brought up Sally Up Sally Down pushup exercise to her

Yes.

Just yes

   Yes.

Dense Add-on   You brought up Sally Up Sally Down and she said thad be a great exercise for two peopleone under the otherADD-ON  muthafucker 

                               Follow now

Ohyeah, I see what you’re talking about. 

You didnt add-on yaleft her hangin Two people one under the other  Jeezsay missionary position mercenary position 

What’s that?

Whaever the fuck you make it yer playin  I can think of dozens of mercenary positions for ones benefitmebbe shes on top grinding her ass on your face tryin to break your nose again  Yave broken it before but not a chick grinding it to a nub  Nowthas something to talkbout 

                                        Gymnasty add-on fer Gawdssakes 

You dropped the ball

I didn’t.

Yadid 

           Havent dated her in the flesh again have ya 

   No, like I said, a long drive for a date . .

. . OR   a date the night the morning the next day the night morningnext day Fuckin don leave bed

I couldn’t.

Oh  

       Not a consenting adult fuckin need to be wooedJESUS  fuck an woowoo an fuck       

I couldn’t. 

   NO you cant Your opportunity strolled pastwaved buhbye

1305,  Reggaefriday,  30  12. 22

1149,  Saturday,  31  12. 22

Damien Rice  Cheers Darlin’  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCUHPwAcJ6w 

9Crimes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDn7-xC2A8E

he stretcheddrawing his arms up from under the blankets worked his hands behind his head nuzzling it into his palms   he needed a haircut 

                       Feels good he thought  wonder what time it is

his undressed window faced east

tilting his head left he watched a graysilver rain siftsaw individual drops like particles of sand in a turned hour glass

she wiggled up against his ribs her head to his armpitnestled on his shoulder

Good morning he smiled lazily at her

What are you smiling at?

You

I humour you?

A wee bit

   A wee bit? You didn’t pay any attention to me last night.

No I was pretty stoned when I came to bed 

                                              Didnt mean to hurt your feelingsyou must have be aware of my distraction

I was yes.

   Yes I just wanted to take inabsorb the sounds the rain through the atmosphere trees tickledwheezing rain gurglingplaying in the fold of the gutter its gaspfreefalling through the downspout clattering inside the abruptelbow the maniac diversion onto the splash stone rushing into the grass  mud   mire

It was nice. I was attracted too.

I thought you were  I felt you across my chest my bellyyour warm touch

I wanted you to know I was there if you wished

My wish is your command  he chuckled

she laughed didnt cover her mouth

Ready to get the show on the road

I suppose.

             Any idea the time?

I think early

Did you want to lay a while longer?

You plotting something

he amused her 

                Are you?

   No If I am later tonighta rain check

she barkedlaughed Rain check?

Cleverhuh

she nestled a bit closer  Too clever for your own goodfunny man.

he tugged her ear

                   Time to rise 

If youd like.

Id like

      with his right he tossed the blankets off them freeing his legs drewup his knees pinwheeled on his hip to a sitting position holding his feet above the wood floor

he snatched sweatpants from the old horse trough he used as a nightstand folded inside it where a tshirt socks Jockeys once dressed in his undergarmentshis feet through the elastic taut at the ankles he stood on the floor pulled them up to his waist

Every morning, clockwork baby.

Come here he tugged her free of the sheet and blankets held her up in both hands halved her longwise snapped her folded her half again an half again then tucked her into a ceramic bowl his daughter made for him in a summer pottery class when she was little 

                            it was here  she was gone

Tonight

folded up she was mute 

                         a fresh paleblue paisley cotton handkerchief

0650,  Saturday,  31  12. 22 

1029,  Saturday 

Damien Rice  Volcano  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gImMeKPdHo

The Blower's Daughter  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkEZaOrzwbA

they wanted to pull the world back from its darkbreathless 24/7 hump things intravenous tasteless hurtling through systems efficientlyeffectively  getting the job done    unmemorable 

they wanted to feel smell select prepare fork slice bite chew masticate swallow enjoy a healthysatisfying shit later remembering

               as good coming out as was going in

                                                        sensual  candid

not performative

they wanted to avoidescape the cascadecavalcade of crap that passed those discrete parcels deemed being alive  living

they wanted to thrive

not be parasites

   “This evening’s host will be none other than the incomparable of course there are . . .” 

                                                                                            they couldnt be more pleased to only have to endure that remote fadingfailing echo echoing into oblivion before they reach it themselves 

   Why do you have to be this way?

who were they asking 

                        eyes went round and round didnt stop until one coudnt stand the suspense restrain themselves any longer burst out laughing a howling cacophony ensuing 

                                                     they didnt answer    you was too vague

  

1801,  Thursday,  22  12. 22

1043,  Reggaefriday,  30  12. 22

Jimmy Page & Robert Plant  Since I’ve Been Loving You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZEwimJ3GZE

. . . seminal . . . 

                 ofcourse he knew how it was spelledunderstood of a work an event a moment a figure strongly influencing later development

but he preferred it spelt semenal keep it in close sexual  a blowtorch heating the heart or at very least close to his   

as usual he distracted himself 

                                 Im sorryexcuse me   Again Semenal wha

he harrumphed Harrumph well excuse me 

                                                 I need interludesintermissions so ya don bore me all to hell

I was talking about seminal thinking. 

Thinking There wasnt a damn thing we talkedbout invited semenal thinking  Unless   You happen to be inside my head 

      Then lotsa gooeysticky semenal things splashinround seeking cleavages in your dull forays

he cleared his throat What are you talking about?

I was talkinbout sexual tension present inside Italian restaurants McDonalds Carls Junior curly fries Subway pizzaNAH no some joints got tha jive   anya meandered off about a restaurant in Italia which you know for damn sure Ive never been swinging the needle back to yourself 

                                                         You have sex inside that cant-remember-the-name ristorante

   No.

You make love tohave sex with a woman over fortyfour

Yes.

I havent anya know my age 

                              So excuse me all to hell when you propose a weak ristorante memoryFUCK yacant remember whaya had for dinner during this mindblowning semenal experience

                                                                                   And and and an  you shared it with your three cousins all guys

Follow my drift

No place Id rather eat out than at a good Italian restaurant candlelight jug house vino 

Why don’t we chalk it up to a difference of ways.

   Sure Why not 

                    But brother we aint even on the same planet

2300,  Monday,  28  11. 22

2040,  Thursday,  29  12. 22

Dean Martin  That’s Amore  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OnFlx2Lnr9Q

she said she could read his palm

Mebbe to freshen up a bit yacoud  mebbe yacoud start with my mind 

I’m not a mind reader . .

. . Really his hard-on was evident her hand rested high on his thighhad been there since they took a seat on folding chairs after dancing to rockanroll   disco forced them off their feetsomething else they had in common   

she was suddenly sheepish 

                           was one of his many recruits off the street

Ah but yare 

Stop. she giggledthen laughed  hadnt let go of his leg 

Feels wonderful

Would you stop?

You think I can control this

her sheepishness went to fluster 

they were at an eighthfloor rooftop dorm party

he met herrolled to a stop at her feet straddling one her ankles

What the hell are you doing? 

You enthused me

                  Woudya come to a party later this eveningbring some girlfriends  therell be lotsa of people there if I concern you  my seemingly seemingly over-the-top anticsNO I intended to get your attention  Driving pastyellin dumb ridiculous  excuse me  passe.

   she rolled her eyes Passe? Really? And jumping from a moving car? 

Inspired 

         Thats on you you inspired me

   You could have hurt yourself.

Only hurt here is if you don show tonight  he handed her a card printed with the dorm address

Oh I see, you’ve thought this through . .

. . The card isnt my idea 

he was asked again to roust up some women 

                                                Come on Let someone else loosehave a go                                                   

Are you kidding me? Last time you smoked it. Why would this time be different? Let loose to your own devisesaint a soul among us who’s got what you got.  You just do whatever it takes . . I understand. 

                                                                                       he referred to his enthusiasm an his propensity to accelerate the same in women

soft green grass landings compelled him to jump 

                                                  athletic he knew how to fall roll not hurt himself he practised it wasnt in the terms of the crummy idiom his first rodeo 

Awright  Ill tell ya wha 

What? 

liking her trended higher Wha 

Yahwhat?

   Can I say Im really enjoying you

Yes, you can say . . 

. . Im really enjoying you

Ohmy . . there you have ityou’ve said . . I’m happy you did.

   Me too

          Ill tell ya wha

Yes.

If I letya have a shot at reading my palm mebbe laterthen woudya try reading my mind

she laughed didnt cover her mouth 

                                      collecting herself If they stop the disco return to rockanroll . . you’ll dance with me again.

After reading my mind 

No.

     I think if I get to reading your mind we won’t make the dance floor.

Hmm good point 

                   Better read my palm real quickbut first  is there such a thing as a line for death and destruction

There’s a life line, which could be read if you would, as death. 

                                                                  Destruction. No. 

Okay 

       Thought mebbe

Death destruction, pretty dark stuff.

There ought to be the opposite of a cloud with a silver lining  Cant have oneseems to me without the other

Can’t say I’ve considered that.

You may havestill early were young 

                                       Its called the fine print

after 1445,  Reggaefriday,  18  2. 22

1604,  Thursday,  29  12. 22

Free  Wishing Well  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIotFhpGmc0

NO wrong door

                 Unless you intend to use a catbox

Maybe I will.

I have when theyve pissed me off 

                                      Though Ive decided it wasnt in my best interest  to be the bigger person   Im who has to clean it up

Logic in that Or you could hire someonelet them clean it up.

Counterproductive to pay someone to do something I can do 

                                                                     he staunched a laugh in his throat I aint you 

   You’re not me. 

                    What’s that crack supposed to mean?

Not a crack Yare a person of meanshave always been Money might be a solution for youhasnt been for me 

                                                                                                                 No crack statement of factin fact not even a knock  I understand somebodys got to do it and the jobs fallen to you Im also a realistmonetarily speaking  Have or have not

So you’re not jealous? 

No

     You havent got my looksmy mind If I had your money Idve been devastating he didnt staunch that laugh

     

1143,  Twosday,  27  12. 22

1143,  Thursday,  29  12. 22

Zeppelin  Good Times Bad Times  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsZG7n7ries