Hi!

Hiya

there were three of them sisters they introduced themselves the Fortiers they lived directly across the street from his house his family moved in at the beginning of summer 

they were Laura Nancy  Anne  he and Anne were the same age nine Laurie the eldest threenearlyfour years older she became the undisputed ringleaderhe would follow her anywhere Nancy was two years older

Did you wanna play with us?

they were the first kids to reach out since his family moved in

he wouldnt  he was shy 

Whadaya playin

Laurie said We were thinking we could play nurses and patient, you’d be the patient.

How do I be a patient

You play that you’re sick or wounded or hurt.

Yeah said Anne I betcha you can play hurt or ill, huh, Joe?

I think I can

Oh, we know you can. said Nancy

Where we playing

We sleep in the attic at our house, our family has twelve kids, Daddy’s a doctor in the city, so we have to play in our room. said Laurie

I gotta tell my Mom Ill be play at your house

Okay. Call up at the front of the house and one of us will come down and get you. We gotta fixup the room so it looks right for us to play our parts.

Laurie was precocious she said she was going to act in high school all the Fortiers went to different schools in the city and she did and later went to a college for performing arts and played coveted roles On and Off Broadway

she was a lookerprobably the only ginger he ever paid attention to he paid keen attention to her freckles he knew he liked freckles 
               then he discovered he also liked where they went 

Should only be fiveten minutes My moms arranging everything Stuffs still up in the air from moving in she might be busy I dont wanna interrupt her if I dont have to

We understand. and they broke into a run towards their house like band of young fillies

HEY

Anne came to the attic window at the front of the house Hey! she cried back I’ll be right down; this is going to be fun!

a three-letter word fun it didnt begin to describe the fun they had the fun they had the entire summer

Laurie had a patients gown for him You have to take off all your clothes and put this on.

he was shy
             but he wasnt stupid All my clothes just to confirm he wasnt hearing things the girls were dressed up in white nurses outfits and caps Bobbypinned to their hair

Lauries outfit was unbuttoned three buttons

he could see the swell of her nascent breasts

Yes. Now. said Laurie  You have to do everything we say; you’re our patient and we’re trying to heal you. Have you decided what’s ailing you? 
                                he had a good idea I have something wrong with my stomach

We'll have to palpate it to determine what might be ailing you.

he didnt know palpate Whats palpate mean

Yeah. said Anne

Nancy laughed demurely with Laurie That means we’ll examine you by touching your stomach to determine where you hurt, where your discomfort is.

O-kay

Laurie and Nancy looked like they knew something Anne and he didnt

Laurie told him to lay down on the floor 

Nancy covered him with a blanket

I’m covering you because I’m going to have to lift your gown to touch your stomach. said Laurie


he thought only Laurie was breathing

                                         seemed he and Nancy and Anne were in suspended animation

she kneeled beside himleaned over him the swell of her breasts swelled more 
                                                                                   he swelled  it was evident

only Laurie was breathing she had to to be able to speak she slipped her hand under the blanket and gently lifted his gown up to his chest
                       she pushed and rocked his stomach with her fingers her palm

Does this hurt? Does this hurt?

Does this hurt?

he fluttered his eyes as if he were struggling to remain conscious during her examination  playing his part

Stay with me, tell me if you’re uncomfortable or hurt, where those places are.

                                                                                 Nancy. Anne. Are you watching, are you paying attention?

Uhhuh they chorused

Where does it hurt?

Whadahell he gasped Lower nurse  lower

Here?

Lower

Here?

Lower

Laurie was biting her lower lip  she said This could be serious.

Yes

when she slipped her fingers lower she brushed the head of his swollen cock with one finger

touching him arrested her

then that finger quietly stealthily began to circle the head of his cock Laurie cleared her throat  Is this where it hurts, Joe?

he croaked Yes

I understand. 
               Nurses, I’ve located the source of his pain. We’ll have to work together to save him. We’re his only hope.

the three fell very solemn

We can do this Laurie said
                              at the attitude she was she was below him  he could see her freckles spread down her throat across the top of her breasts and disappeared into her cotton bra
                                                                            when he followed her constellations back up her throat to her chin to her mouth he found her looking at him looking at her she looked warmly into his eyes I think we can help you if you put yourself our hands.

Yes nurse

It’s Laurie.

Yes  Laurie

And Nancy. Nancy had moved to Laurie attitude at his right side her outfit was unbuttoned three buttons too her breasts were more conspicuous though she didnt have the freckles

Yes

And Anne. Anne was at his left knee

Yes

Laurie explained to them that she discovered the source of his ailment and with proper treatment he could recover 

it was the first time he felthe imagined what prey must have seen as it lay at the feet of the pride  at the feet of the hunting lionesses

all hands on deck

it evolved through the summer the nurses and their ailing patient
                                                                      palpate stroke finger  several times they let him played doctor

hands on

mouths on 
             snakebites

life and limb at risk

all patients recovered

                                     

they didnt think it was untoward  or nuts
                                             since and he could only speak for himself those he confided in considered his summertheir summer  insane

no matter

he was enduringly grateful 

0914,  Thursday,  6  2. 20

1604 or 404,  Monday,  27  7. 20

Power Station  Some Like It Hot  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hw1t7OCESUw

Robert Palmer  Bad Case of Loving You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlPHmYtqSdA whynot  Addicted to Love  (if love is pussy)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcATvu5f9vE an whydafucknot  I Didn’t Mean to Turn You On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyNa-ReeZc8                

the nice thing about sleeping in late was that he was that much close to a beer after noon or that because he slept in so late that he can open a beer immediately and have it with breakfast

                                                                         though probably the nicest thing about sleeping in was that he got there only because he woke and then let his hypnagogic reverie gather itself and enter him  and in its netherworld twilight sylphs and sibyls tossed faerie dust tumbled bones and laid down with him to relish the most outrageous phantasies perform

if he was stayed awake he would have denied himself  

he was at his best when he didnt

they watched two aerie nymphs dance and chase each otherplay together one was dark like a murmuration embodied the second was startlinglywhite like a sweep a drift of simmering white sand a strong oceanbreeze running its fingers through her 

                        they were clothed in sheer cloth knotted at their hips circling their waists and long enough to provide some modesty – which they were unconcern with didnt care – they played in a tall grassy field kissed by sunrays and ran through a spacious stand of leafytrees at the edge of a body of water  they dove into it then stood and splashed and kicked water at each other

moist and bejeweled they ran back up to the grass and performed a sinuous ritual dance exchanging the lead many times

they danced until they were exhausted and collapsed 

                                                         and on top the crushed aromatic sheaves the broken bearded heads they embraced each other panting and panting they closed their eyes and fell asleep in each other arms

it was only when they breathed deeplysonorously sleeping hard that he roused

when he rousedwoke he opened his eyes then closed them again and remained lying in bed taking inventory of his body of its discomforts where they were today they changed every day juggled their severity or abstained and lying there on the backs of his eyelids he watched them again reran their dancing and their play

                                                                                                   he smiled gratefully

       

1026,  Twosday,  28  7. 20

nobody likes to be called out  nope

                                         least of all by a family member

Sloppy seconds fuck you It wasnt asif your cum was still alive still restless twisting polliwogs inside their quims creamy and frothy They werent yeasty churnin fertile brews

For factwords out of the horses mouths I know you played with their titskissed em up possibly fingered one or another but you didnt dip your dauber which would then eminently indickate that I had sloppy seconds

                                                                                                     The only time such a time presented itself I sobered up -- in time – and declined  I got hit in the face with a bedside lamp  That was the third time my nose was broken  But that Indian vixen was gonna to have to please herself  It hadnt been a stumbling halfhour earlier that fucking her second sounded amazing

Brother take a deep breath at best you were a latent wingman you were unaware that you were procuring pussy that in fact I did enjoy and then made damn sure when the wheels came off the ride they came off amicably an we remained friends Friends to this day 

                              Yah we did date the same girls an yah ya dated them before me But naw ya didnt in your vernacular poke them before me Fact is I didnt poke many I went down on them because I wasnt staying in town an Id be gawddamned to knock one up and have to tell them Get an abortion Im adios Im out If they wanted their baby they could have them But it takes two loving parents to raise a child Id tell them to evacuate the multiplyingthe differentiating collection of cells before it looked like a chicken that could cry Mommie! Mommie!

Intentionally  an ya did enjoy some benefits the girls used you to get to me

Im not saying that because thats what I thought

Im saying that because thats what they told me

I do I truly do I appreciate all your introductions

                                                   which you intended to rub in my face

It didnt seem to me to be necessary to go out and beat the bushes for girls when you brought them back to me I figured that out mighty quick

First you later roommates when I moved out

My roommates were at least smart enough then when they realised what was happening to quit bringing girls back to the apartment

                How could you? theyd ask 

I told them I didnt make any moves on their dates they hit on me

                                                                        who was I to say no

Alls fair in love and war

1655,  Sunday,  26  7. 20

1214,  Monday,  27  7. 20

The Clash  Rock the Casbah  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15FfWj11uys            

he was in turmoil it wasnt chaos thank gawd 
                                                simple turmoil
he burned the cookies

so TURMOIL
                  Sorry kids were not having dessert tonight

Well have dinner but there wont be milk and cookies or coffee and cookies tonightwell segue right into The Bachelor after dinner your favorite show   why  still eludes me

they looked disappointed
                           they might wanna pull up their big girl pantiesthey were old enough to bake cookies and burn them too

Well shit no cookies with his coffee

but maybe a brandy
                        or maybe a Drambuie apricot schnapps an Amaretto hmm already sounding better than cookies

turmoil
       wha turmoil

anybody worth their salt digs themselves out from under the rubble

had it been chaoshad dinner guests arrived anticipating dessert which they seem to  which seem expected

he wasnt that kind of guest
a meal Thank you
he was happy

had he invited guests CHAOS well man he could duck out the back door he could let them knock go around to the windows and peer in incredulously when he didnt answer It doesn’t appear he’s home. Did you have the right date? did you call to confirm?

Why would I call to confirm? Did you think to call? why is it for me to call? the natives were getting restless  they were hungry

I suppose I could have, but I didn’t; maybe we had the wrong night. It would be unlike him not to call to cancel.

Well, he has been . . different . since the accident at our place
.
                                                                    they were pleasantly drunk he was the party character who enactedwho refused to refrain from exaggerating the drama he revealed acting all the parts out in a ridiculous pratfall he went over their sofa backwards and banged the back of his head on the concrete-topped sofa table – Industrial Art – that wasnt there two weeks earlier -- they werent introduced – which they thought he would really dig  dig the angle-iron legs bolted into the slab of sanded and buffed greenconcrete

No he wasnt a fan
                         he remained glibso very witty Christ I missed the dead fish rolled up in a newspaper when I came in 

he bled profusely

he needed stitches

kindly he didnt bleed on their sofahis scalp was still in shock
                                                                  but if they ever pissed him off he could sink them together chained to it                                                                      

There was a sofa table, we understand.

A sofa table wha sofa table

An industrial concrete-topped one.

No  That kind of table wouldnt work into their décor Look around They liked things to complement each other The table youre describing officer wouldnt fit in itd be too eclectic

the cop didnt know what that meantbut he mumbled Yes and he nodded to emphasise his agreement  But. umm . . maybe that was the point.

I take your point

Okay he unfurled his wings to fly maybe the point of the sofa table was to be eclec . . 
. . Do you know wha eclectic means I mean wouldnt a person prefer to be known as eclectic rather than something they owned  being eclectic

I suppose.

Eclectic Drawn from broad and diverse range of sources 

Okay.

In regards to the table you referenced  Im unfamiliar . . though it would break from their ifyawoud decorating tradition  their apparent sense and tastes 

You don’t remember it?

I dont know of it  anby your description it was something I wouldnt have liked  it would have stuck out like a sore thumb  An I would have said as much without them asking me 
Therefore I would remember it

leaving the house his exit was as unexpected and seriocomedic as his livingroom pratfall that he performed for his friends away from their other guests
                                       he went out the back door with a plastic bag of ice bound to the back of his head with towel he promised to call when he was leaving the hospital 

he could have walked it

he drove

his head throbbed

it was a discreet exit

they left left thoroughly confused

chaos averted

he escaped
            back to back now  first an exit now an escape   

Semantics a voice inside his head challenged him You fled

OhChrist  I left

Suddenly

Precipitously

Suddenly

Excuse me when it looks like its going to rain to you yawanna bring an umbrella  Precipitously See  Im playing off precipitation

I followed  Suddenly

Youre full of sh . . 
. . Everyones  full of shit

2053,  Wednesday,  5  2. 20
1324,  Sunday,  26  7. 20

coffee & beer & women were similar to him

hed be enjoying them excuse himself to use the restroom 

and when he returned  they were gone

1204,  Twosday,  4  2. 20

1102,  Sunday,  26  7. 20

Bill Withers  Ain’t No Sunshine  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PeyzXvvdmw

                            touch

gently holding ones hand

                            stroking ones forearm with the backs of your fingers or kneading massaging their hands wrists forearms biceps across the back of their shoulders their necks

touching

          marvelously comforting possibly healing  if one is deliberate  focused

it is cathartic   

it is sensual

              from the substantialthe corporeal

                                                  unto something unimaginably persistently ephemeral the touch persists on and on an on after it has ceased

                                       phantom kneading

the human touch can be virtuous

                                    a warm hearty familiarity an embracing compassion

suddenlyhe laughedalmost maniacal

                                        it occurred to him that this kind of touchthis comfort was utterly similar on par with the touch his red Bic pen afforded him

                                              and laughinghe thoughtferociously  he could probably find comfort in the muscular coils of a snake

1119 & 1157, Twosday,  4  2. 20

1644 or 444,  Saturday,  25  7. 20

Miles Davis  He Loved Him Madly  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fc_-VZlkcM 

Did you sleep well last night?

he inhaled No I slept like shit

I’m sorry.

Im sorry youre sorry  particularly when you shouldnt be sorryunless  unless    you had something to do with disturbing my sleep  which you did not

Please  no unwarranted sorrys  please

I feel badly that you didn’t have a good night.

Then say that Not sorry

And you

Thank you. I slept well.

Dream

I did, it’s vague now, I don’t remember dreams like you do.

Can you recall anything

Yes. Goldfish in a pond were replaced by glass fish, and the glass fish were lighted from below and were prismatic; but they didn’t move.

Did you remove the goldfish or place the glass ones

Not me, I watched.

Was it one person or several people

I watched, rather saw, the goldfish were there, then they weren’t, then there were glass fish, and then the pond was lighted and the fish sparkled.

Did you live by the pond or did you walk to visit the pond

I don’t know. I know I didn’t like the glass fish; I liked their submerged sparkling light.

Did you dream?

I dreamt words I dreamed In the beginning there was the word . . if you knew the word . . then it wasnt the true word . . the true word is unknowable . . if someone professes they know  they are false

I know I know theyll repeattheyll say like children who prefer to dismiss an adult who is taking their time to offer them an explanation

                 to which the adult ought to relent and say Fine, tell me what you know.

But they dont know And theyre embarrassed  Theyve embarrassed themselves

I dreamt the words up to they are false the rest was an elaboration a pet peeve

Ah. Do you feel you have to embarrass children?

They embarrass themselves If they dont like how it feels they can stop with the I know

They’re chil . . 

. . And when would you sayhow old  when would you correct them by allowing them their embarrassment

I . . I would think when they’re old enough to discern . that they really don’t know.

I disagree If theyre old enough to say I know I know theyre old enough to be embarrassed

They no

They know?

They N – O  No

                 Ill concede Okay  You no  An then they can leave me alone satisfied in their mistaken understanding of noing

1134,  Twosday,  4  2. 20 

1318,  Saturday,  25  7. 20 

ahshit  here he comes

hes got that look on his puss

hes walking by remote-controlcompletely oblivious of whats around himhe knows whats going on around him by his external antennae like a blind man using a cane

hes present enough though to pause at streetcorners look  proceed when safe

                                                                                       here he comes

How are ya

he didnt acknowledge his greeting he cleared his throat Question. Where are you when you’re beyond modesty, beyond ego, beyond everything outside the small . . space . yes, space, not place . . . beyond everything outside the small space of your singular consciousness?

Id have to think about that

Yes. I should think so.

                        Good day.

he walked off  his antennae twitching again as he went

0919,  Twosday,  4  2. 20

1143,  Saturday,  25  7. 20

put down the book put down the pen put down the cup of coffee

                                                                   watching all the while

dont do anything long nothing deep or involved shallow

                                                           shallow  keep things shallow

the riffsthe tongues of surf stir sand tumble debris tickle palepurple quiet urchinspines turn tiny bivalveshells butterflied and halved

            which tempt him makes him think of the times they held hands and rushed the waves then dove in headlong together

he taught her to hold her breath

                                  blew in her face when she was a baby so she caught her breath and submerged her went under with her so she could see he was there he was with her  holding her

he remembered

remembering would have to keep him for now

they were enclosed

they could see out through the French doors through the glass

on the other side of the glass is too far away

sometimes five feet is too far away when the hat drops ANTHEYREOFF!

                                                                         without a moments notice  theres no rhyme definite reason I can’t breathe. 

                                 three syllables  Imagine with scarcely a breath in your lungs I can’t breathe

you exhale cant inhale never more helpless in your life except since the last time

her eyes bulged

she cant panic

we revive herget her air

                         she breathes again on her own

we fear the terrible momentthe terrible reality the moment she wont

                                                                          and well be there

I can’t breathe.

she cant tell us  we have to watch

she cant speak

                she hasnt in more than six months

we miss her voice and laughter desperately

0808,  Twosday,  4  2. 20

1208, Friday,  24  7. 20