Ohbrother what was he supposed to do now

the Pharmacy closed in ten minutes

the pharmacist was a woman

                               he didnt know women were even interested in pharmaceuticals hed never seen a woman behind the counter before  granted  he spread his business around but never in any of the other drugstores he frequented did he meet a woman pharmacist

time was forcing his hand 

                           he couldnt make it to another drugstore before they closed

he had a hot date this evening  Cappy  curly raven hair  olive complexion  Italian  crazy body  theyd been aching from afarfriends for a year  enamoured  but the timing was never right  relationships  neither was free when the other was  until a week ago when her boyfriendidiot dropped her

when he caught wind of her being unattached he beat ass to her place to find out from Cappy herself no word of mouth for him

Cappy

Joe. How are you?

I think I might be elated

Elated?

Yah 

     she smiled real big what a beautiful mouth Why elated?   

Are you kidding me

Am I kidding you?

Youre killing me  

Ive heard youre free

Yes. Didn’t see that coming. Tommy got a hard-on for one of the twins that moved into town.

The Seagrams

Yes, the Seagrams.

How do you get a hard-on for one identical twin and not the other her smile began breaking down Or maybe Tom doesnt have to choose  Dig

You’re asking me if I dig? he broke up with me . .

 . An kicked the door open for you and I

Finally

her smile began to grow again

                               then she erupted in gay unbrooked laughter

she didnt cover her mouth

she had a beautiful mouth

                            full lips

white even teeth 

                  her old man must have spent a ton of dough on her mouth 

few kids in his neighbourhood were afforded pretty teeth big families needed food  crooked teeth chewed as good as straight teeth

when she came downwhen her wonderful laughter subsided tears in her eyes Yes, Joe.  Finally.

he got swept up in her Finally 
                              he got his right arm around herpulled her body up tight against his paused  looking her in the eyes HUUGE brown eyesflecked green he waondered in them he smiled she smiled warmlyshe didnt resist she put her arms around him he kissed her deeplyhed never kissed her before hed always wanted to his cock grew against her belly  she was aware  she held him tighter

they  kissed  deeper . . .

he and Cappy were going out on their third date 

the petting of their second date had them come out of their clothes in the back seat of his parents ninepassenger Town and Country Chrysler  he spread her legs he admired her  she looked asif she wanted to protest  Cappy Youre beautifulabsolutely beautiful she quieted  he motioned with his eyes and said Take the arm of the door she slowly raised her arms up over her head and took the door  Dont let go his voice was husky with passion Dont let go of it she glistened  then slowly  deliberately  he placed his hand on her he slipped one finger inside her she moved her hips against his hand he slipped his finger out teased her clit round and round slowly  she closed her eyes but not before she looked deeply into his and smiled then she smiled wantonly licentiously  whatever embarrassment she had it was flushed over and arrested by her passion she smelled wonderful he played with her clit chased it awkwardly  chased it accurately dug her face moving with mocked frustration as he teased her  then seriouslyadamantly when he found her spot

he went down on her lapped sucked her  she groaned while playing her with his mouth he slipped a wetted finger bitbybit in her ass she bucked he withdrew it he slipped two fingers bitbybit gently up her ass she groanedgrunted let go of the door with one hand flailing then finding his head she yanked his hairpulled his face tight to her his tongue deeper his fingers deeper inside her  she buckedbucked against his facehis fingers panted she panted buckedpantedgroaned panted OHshe gaspedgasped GASPED raucously she Ooohedshe came she squirted  My god she moaned then moaned animally emanating from deep deep inside her throat

he wanted to be inside her 

                              wanted

want is a good thing

finally she opened her eyesher hand still clutching his hair 

he smiled it was hidden by her mons pubis by wet lazy curls his eyes smiled 

she returned his smile

he licked her  a long slow  doglick from anus to clit then he kissed her clit hardkissed her once more between her wet parted legs

he nuzzled the insides of her thighs as he got up on his arms his knees

she let go of his hairreturned her hand to the door arm

she didnt take her eyes off his face he smiled at her 

                                                         then he turned his eyeshis attention to his cock
he gripped his erection and poked it against her ass her breath quickened he leaned against her paused  she held her breath  he dragged his cock slowly up to her pussy to her widespread lips pushed his cock down with his thumbthe head of his cocknestled nestled at her she pushed with her armspushed her bodyher pussy to receivetake to take him
he lifted his eyes to hers  they stared long

he let go of his cock it slapped up against his belly  she pouted  he smiled  she pouted more

hoarsely Careful A bird could perch on that pout Cappy But maybe thats my intention too

she laughedrather  cooed

he straightened her legs out between his then saddledslid up her hips to her belly  

Hold your tits Cappy squeeze them tight together My turn

she pressed their weight together  watched eagerly

he wanted to be eager too but didnt

he put his hands on the edge of the doorthe window was cold at his fingertips and slowlyever so slowly he fucked her tits watched her rapt attentionher focus on his cockher tongue working under her lipsthe tip of it parting them peeking receding Christ Christhe thought

                                                         then

                                                                    she purredturned her eyes up to his Fuck my tits, Joe. Fuck my tits. FuckmeJoe his hands went to the front benchto the seatback of the backseat  he thrusted thrusted  his nuts balled  a bolt gathered  he sexgrimaced Elvissneered  her eyes went madly between from his his cock his eyes cock eyescockeyescock  an she saw in his face  an lockanloaded on his cock he came ferociously a bolt struck her widowspeak a second bolt lasered a Z under her eyeacross the bridge of her noseacross her upper lip a third easing lashed her tits

                she opened her mouth he slipped up her tits between his thighs she grabbed his hipsgrabbed his ass

he thrusted thrusted  in her mouth

Well  later she said We certainly made a mess back here.

Yah his vision was finally untweaking  Yah we did

I like it, our mess. I like it a lot.she hadnt wiped off her face she noticed he noticed  she smiled big

she ran her tongue across her upper lips Hmmm. You ought to kiss me.

he didnt say Fuckyah he leaned forward and kissed her deeply their faces got mussed with his cum   would have been a great time for a cop to tap on the steamedup windows  to move them along

almost eightclosing time  

like it or not she was the gatekeeper 

who spends five minutes picking out a pack of gum  actually he picked out three  Clove Beemans Black Jack

I have to close in five minutes the pharmacist said

Yes I know

Ill take the gum and a half dozen rubbers

she seemed to be watching the words come out of his mouth her eyes opened wide at rubbers quickly she asked  Condoms?

You say condoms I say rubbers potato potatto  Yah

she smiled Yes.

he was a bit uncomfortable but he summonsed his best poker face  it definitely was enabled by the thought of poking her  penetrating Cappy

Which condom did you want?

Which condom do you prefer

she gulped

                  I prefer the ribbed ones; they help, ah pleasure . . a woman.

Im game Your ribbed ones please

she smiled largeshe brushed a lock of red hair from above her eye off her forehead

Well get you locked up on time he looked  on her breast was a nametag Angel she had nice breasts under her palegreen tunic went well with her green eyes he hadnt noticed earlier actually very nice breasts and eyes

she blushed

              maybe female pharmacists can read minds I like your candor; I like that you’re using, using sounds coarse, nevermind, that you’re being smart.

Im not often accused of being smart Thank you Angel

No. You are. I wish more boys . . no, you’re not a boy . . a young man, I wish more young men bought – there – bought, not used, condoms.

she was the one who now was uncomfortable they swapped  You get a kickback for recommending the ribbed condoms

Oh goodness, no.

Well there ought to be something in it for you Youre dispensing practicaltried and true advice she blushed Your recommendation has sold me on doing business with only youwith this drugstore yaknow for all my health needs

Thank you. Six, correct?

Lets make it a dozen

A dozen? a smiled curled over her mouth  A dozen.

Yah I think so 

I suppose Ill see you inside a week he smiled  You work evenings Angel hurriedly My names Joe  he didnt want to seem overt  improper

I do . . Joe.

Look at us On a first name basis

I prefer first names You Takes the formality out of a relationship Cements it

he extended his hand to her Angel So very nice to meet you

she accepted it Joe

then shaking over one another they chorused Nice grip

still holding hands they laughed together

when Tommy came crawling back to Cappy  crying apologising after he found out that she was enthusiastically seeing Joe  seeing one of two identical twins seemed wearying Tommy couldnt tell them apart 

Cappy decided to go back with Tommy Fuck

I love him.

You love him Then its right for you

Yes. Thank you, Joe. You have always said, always wanted, what was right, felt right, for me.

Cappy I want honesty  

And honestly  Ill miss what we shared

It was crazy nice

Crazy nice? It was insane! you turned me inside out! I can’t function inside out. I need something more staid, I’m sorry. But that’s who I am.

Knowing who you are is the battle

It is, isn’t it?

It is

before he left for Miami a year later  after Cappy  after Jane after Janeyafter Janeys voracious Karmann Ghia convertiblewha the fuck was her name built  must be Jello cuz jam dont shake like thatBECKY  OhJesus  Becky

after Cappy  in some nice crazy way  Angel

she did dig the ribbed condoms

                                 when they werent otherwise entertained embroiled  roiled  crazed

she was the only redhead he was ever with

     

1439,  Reggae Friday,  8  11. 19

1604,  Saturday,  9  11. 19

Sugarloaf  Green-Eyed Lady  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_i7PKdQJU4

whats lost todayif one didnt have a clue he thought most didnt though he held himself to a high bar anif he could make it over the top so should others  lost  were rites of passage

talking with mencontemporaries younger 

                                           few could say they had stood up in a dark theatre trying  in a hushed voice imploring their date to return to their seat beside them  Gina, aww comon, baby; I was just having a little fun witcha.  Gina. Baby. Comon back.   or Mo  or Addie  Babette ouch she was something else  Sue theres always a Sue or Suzy COMON . . I WAS JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.  Davida Kaahrist what a rack 

                                                                                 standing up in the seat aisle  a bright celebrated waxen bucket of popcorn  the last of its contents dumping out onto the floor  hanging from their cock

against their thighs 

                      a rite of passage

                                         as a young teenager buying a condom from a drugstore pharmacist the condoms then  were kept behind the counter

                                      or WOW buying a condom from a female pharmacist  who knew women pursued degrees in pharmaceuticals

or once upon a time men of the Maasai tribe of Kenya and Tanzania proving themselves underwent emorata  an unanesthetised circumcision anif that isnt a bridge too far  it is also believed a boy to become a man a warrior  has to kill a lion with a spear

                       Does anybody know how few men there would be in America if they had to kill a lion with a spear

It aint like eating the worm from a bottle of Mescal

Is it?

Impregnating a womanhaving a baby  aint a rite of passage

Making obscene amounts of money aint it either

What rites are had to prove a man or a woman in America

                                                                                he hadnt a fucking clue 

though he shared popcorn at theatres with many women

bought condoms from female pharmacists

eaten worms from Mescal

did drugs that killed friends and acquaintances

rite?

1424,  Reggae Friday,  8  11. 19

1153,  Saturday,  9  11. 19

https://www.newworldencyclopedia.org/entry/Maasai

AwwKahrist JesusChrist involuntarily came out of his mouth

                                                             he had lifted his eyes out his book as he walked to snatch a quick peekassess possible obstacles lots of years of practise he was beginning to think he couldnt walk unless he was reading

ahead heading downhill probably another ten metersprobably twenty meters off the intersection  something lay near the edge of the road where the asphalt rottedcrumbled  the earth beneath it eroding winter rains coursed and undercut the road the citythis was the old city didnt have sidewalks or curbs it was quaint anything dysfunctional might be called quaint  

he walked now loosejointed his finger a bookmarker because he saw he couldnt walk past itignore it 

if it was an animal he was going to pay his respects

                                                      he was also going to fume people in cars didnt give a fuckTHEY had someplace to beTHEY were in a hurry

he stood over it hoping the destroyed organic body was a large pomegranatethats what it looked like  a large dirty smashed pomegranate

it was just past Halloween 

he knew some people to give pomegranates as trick or treats

he dug that

in the Midwest some people gave out apples when he was a kid

maybe this California bunch was upping the game

maybe watermelons next infused with vodka  chilled by the night air

he might have to take up trick or treating again

                                                man the stories he had of adult Halloweens 

he was glad he had them packed in his skullso fucking glad  then he called Halloween Debauchery anhe could debauch with the best of em 

maybe

      maybe it was a pomegranate

Nah  pomegranates havent bones

pulverized

without inspection introspection  unrecognisable

he might be the only person who believed an animal struck and killed and then repeatedly runover was a desecration 

he liked to think he wasnt

                          he just didnt have any proof

the telltale cluethe clincher the flesh marltuffs of fur  gore   still clinging tenaciously to the poor asphalt near the roads center

       a fading bruise  never healing

there wasnt really anything he could gather up off the road  remove to the gravelly edge the busted flesh and bones and organs were crushed into the teeththe black maw of the lousy asphalt

it was times like these he entertained unsavoryghastly thoughts of whoever killed the small animal another earthling

that driver crucified along the roads edge  or those who mangled its body
                                                                            that wouldnt bother him

he sighed

         he took up Thirteen again  before his eyes  and began walking walkingtamping down the violence he needed to allay needed to not let infect him

at least not any more than it did  

1238,  Thursday,  7  11. 19

1205,  Reggae Friday,  8  11. 19

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vw7-G6aiF2A&list=PLDisKgcnAC4TNEbKm6C7axlCFDBM2B-7m&index=1

Motherless Brooklyn

**spoiler if noir isnt your gamejazz isnt dont bother anif ya do bother understand that your opinion isnt worth shit so you might as well keep it to yourself

the film is stitchedheld together by its music

the music holds it in its arms like a swaddled babe

if the music hadnt been so compelling his interest would have wanedbeen lost 

noir hes watched it since he was a kid  those made in the 40s 50s  yes in glorious black and white

Motherless tried 

it fell short 

the film reminded him of a winter night when he was a teenager 

he and his kid brothernot a year younger were walking home from a bowling alley on Milwaukee Avenue

rather than walk into the bite of the wind and cold they took a shortcut across the frozenover Des Plaines River fingers crossed

they walked onto it sixseven feet apart shuffling their feet  and listened devotedly 

they were consciousthey talked about it on the bank before stepping onto the glazed snowswirled ice if one went through it they wouldnt take the other with them  and possibly the other might have a shot at pulling the floundering brother out as long as he didnt get swept under

                                                                                   or so they thought

they were pretty stoned

but being stoned made them feel light as feathers 

if they were drunk they would have been heavier

                                                     andrunk they would have walked the extra quarter mile up Milwaukee and crossed over the Des Plaines on the traffic bridge

stoned 

          they werent so disposed

obviously they made it

it was stunning how hard he listened as they walked listened to the snowmuffled creaks and cracks like an old abandoned house breathing sighing  waiting patiently for someone who would never come

under them he listened to the water run  running black and cold

he imagined what tumbling might look like if the ice gave way could he find up  could he punch up through it to gain a handhold before his breath ran out

he didnt think so

so he quit imagining and listened harder yet

he never knew what his brother thought

he never asked

maybe because reaching the other sidealmost to the bank his brothers leg went through the ice up to his knee

the river was shallow there

he had already made the bank

he grabbed a fallen limb held it out and pulled him up onto the snowy ground

all his brother said was Goddammit

that was thanks enough

it had been his idea to cross the ice

they walked through the trees and eventually found the road that meandered through the forest preserve

they were familiar with it

                           lots of family summer and fall picnics and barbecues were held there at the different open-air pavilions picnic tables anchored to concrete slabs beneath corrugated iron roofs some even had wood dancing floors  lots of footstomping polkas to accordion players

as they walked past the pavilions on the ash and graveled road he could hear soft howls bits and pieces faint ghost music playing he could see his younger self playing egg toss and water balloon toss the winning two won a homemade fruit pie or cake or fruit preserves relishes pickles
hed won better than his fair share

they walked briskly

                      his brothers sodden foot and frozen pant leg kept a striking cadence

thensuddenly his brother stoppedhis eyes darting left and right You hear that?

he listened

nothing

he shook his head no

his brother stood fast listening

then he shook his head no too

they struck off

then

      his brother pulled up There. That?

he listened

nothing

he shook his head no

his brother listened

he shrugged

he shook his head no too

they struck off

thensuddenly again There. That.

                                   he almost slippedfell onto his face stopping abruptly

he listened

no nothing

he shook his head

You didnt hear that?

he shook his head No

You sure?

I havent heard a thing

Alright.

they walked threefiftyfourhundred meters

his brother pulled up again That?

That What

You don’t hear that?

No

his brother stood listening You don’t hear that?

No

Then never mind. Must be my soundtrack.

1541,  Saturday,  2  11. 19

1052,  Thursday,  7  11. 19

That sounds like a threat.

A threat 

I do  I dont threaten 

                     You know that about me   Or should 

Or maybe youve forgotten                

Out of sight out of mind

Don’t be ridiculous.

Ridiculous

                I havent seen you in more than a year

It . .

. . Dont

You know Im scrupulous regarding my calendar dates and times  who Ive spoken with

Please

Dont challenge me Ill embarrass you

Youve been busy with you as Ive told you to be To be so jealously

My deliberate busy is annotated because thats wha I do whaIve taught myself to do

Ive tried to teach you but youre not me

                               

Thank gawd

                                                                   Has it really been more than a year?

her question might have hurt another mans feelings

but he had no feelings

                   dramatic  traumatic draumatic  experiences  had  ifnot cauterised his  had deadened them

he now came out of reasoned  perspective

emotion emotion  he devalued

he had wrestled with emotions and they exhausted him

pinning themhanging them out to dry  he decided reasonably  he was better off without them

she knew better than challenge him on facts

he was meticulous

she wasnt

so it seemed

                opposites  truly attracted

1606,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  6  11. 19

2350, Day-bewtween-Two-Ts,  6  11. 19

Chicago  Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uy0ldI_1HA

“It is my divine right to unconditional love. It is my divine right to unconditional love. It is my . . ”

he dug the premise 

                     though he hated to say that the announcerpronouncers voice distracted himtook him off message diminished the elation he might otherwise have enjoyed   they sounded like Rush Limbaugh a person whose very voice pissed him offwhose politics ran counter to his and whose success drove him up a wall  imagining beyond Limbaugh those who hung on his every word   

he leaned forward and killed the podcast

his daughter was asleep now 

he was tempted to argue divine rights

                                        but theres no sense arguing with a disembodied voice coming through the sieve of a speaker

they cant hear you

she was deeply asleep

he sat again in the wood dining chair he set at the foot of her bed

watched her

                  breathe

listened to the whisper of the ventilator aiding her

from the floor beside him he picked up his clipboard and paper the red Bic atop it  he wrote her a letterhe accused her of coercing him to write a letter shed smile at that when she read it

                                                                        he wrote her that when she was a baby sleeping in her crib her mother and he would tiptoe into the room and stand arms around each other  and marvel at the precious little girl they created with their love  

quietly watch her

                   a beautiful extension of their love 

more precious than either of their lives

he felt helpless

watching her

now

as she slept

he wrote

. . . I wouldnt be anywhere else in the world right now

                                                             . . . I love you   dad

0906,  Monday,  28  10. 19

1200,  Saturday,  2  11. 19

Johnny Cash  Hurt  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AHCfZTRGiI