shed said shed said   she  had  said

                                              he thought she was pulling his leg

they were enjoying a healthy lively relationship

                                                  butas yet  she declined to spend a night at his place or had she asked him to stay with her

they had morning trysts at eithers place when proposed coffee or breakfasts went sidewaystoo consumedpossessed with the others fresh body to want to leave for mere meagre sustenance  theyd go later sometimes 

sometimes famished afternoons early evenings  theyd order in

they blew off lunchesblew off dinners responsibly canceling their reservations first

yet

     they hadnt spent a night together

Id like to spend the night with you  

Id like to wake in the morning beside you you being the very first thing Id see tomorrow I cant imagine anything else I want morefirst thing in the morning than seeing you holding you kissing you

she smiledlaughed nervously didnt cover her mouth  her eyes bright   I don’t think you’d get much sleep.

leaning into herleering  Is that a promise

You’re terrible.

I like being terrible with youdont think I wanna be terrible with anyone else

Ah, you say the sweetest things . .

. . An mean them

Yes, yes you do. You’re wonderful. You’ve never been dishonest with me.

Nor would I

No you wouldn’t, you’re, sometimes . . . painfully hon . .

. . I think the word youre looking for is brutal brutally honest  with extreme prejudice 

she laughed loudly

                     then You trying to put words in my mouth?

Words  or . .

. . Stop right there, buddy.

he acted innocent

Save it, I know better.

You do

she smiled lasciviouslythe tip of her tongue at the corner her mouth

Youre killing me

You complaining?

No

I wouldnt complain about anything you might do to me 

he winked

Except?

Yes Except

Spending the night together?

Yes

There’s more than one reason why you wouldn’t get much sleep.

And

I have restless legs syndrome.

she wasnt kidding

definitely fast twitch muscles

he wondered how her legs didnt wake her

                                             or if he had fallen asleep before her and she only fell asleep once she was exhausted

they were really twitching

she  had  said

he said Baby Ill be your captain

this early morning

                    Jesus  Christ   he was going to have to do something about them he knew what that washe knew how he was going to try and quiet them he was going to get down between them and hope she didnt break his nose small price though hed broken it three times before  but how novel the fourth   worthy of bragging rights
       

0614 & 1234,  Saturday,  19  10. 19

Grand Funk Railroad  I’m Your Captain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fryGyqTJPU

he laughed sardonically Wha a fuckin clown

                                                 somehow he thought himselfperceived himself outside of harms wayoutside of the threat he posed  Wha a fuckin jokehe should have had his head on a swivelshouldnt have been so blasé to imagine himself outside the harm he threatened

he didnt know him

he may have thought he could bully him into submissionYah physically he was a big guyprobably hadnt considered the bigger they are the harder they fall

a urinal in effect is a box canyon 

probably few recognise that they have their backs to the door theyre immediately engagedoccupied with the business in hand  they dont wanna to piss on their shoes

preoccupied head down absorbed  their facethe bridge of their nose not inches from a stubborn ceramic tiled wall a quick shota quick forearm to the back of their headneck smashes their face against the wall knees buckle maybe their chins cuffed by the elliptic lip of the urinal on their way down  on their way to oblivion 

                                                                                           a brisk stomping either endured or oblivious  theyre unconscious  black no matter  made no fuckin difference to him BOOMBOOM  OUT GO THE LIGHTS

when you enter a box canyon   

you really ought to be fuckin alert

1347 & 1528,  Reggae Friday,  18  19. 19

Little Walter  Boom Boom, Out Go the Lights  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XagQ3owbBEM           

“During a raucous rally held at the American Airlines Center in Victory Park . . Dallas . . Trump said it was actually wise for him to allow Turkish forces to invade and attack the Kurds. 

“The president celebrated the temporary cease-fire in Syria that his envoys negotiated earlier in the day, which has reportedly not held into Friday. “Sometimes you have to let them fight a little while,” he said. “Like two kids in a lot, you’ve got to let them fight and then you pull them apart. … Without a little tough love — you know what tough love is, right? — they would’ve never made this deal.” Trump boasted that “not one drop of American blood” has been shed. “He received some of his loudest applause when he vowed to stop ‘endless wars’ and vowed to ‘bring our soldiers back home.’”

reading thatyou did read it?

                                he hoped other readers might take from it what he did

raucous rally = people-of-a-kind who might have followed cult leader Jim Jones to New Guinea who with the help of his inner circle directed a mass suicide and mass murder with cyanide-laced grape-flavoured Flavor Aid many people might still believe it was Kool Aid – it wasnt – credit where credits due

the American Airlines Center any way to make a buck he might suppose  no matter the taint

the FAKE PRESIDENT celebrated a temporary cease-fire of a military action he facilitated with Turkish President-Dictator Erdoğan

envoys that was big of the writers to describe Pence and Pompeo as envoys hed be surprised if either man knew what the word meant perhaps if they had used bagmen Pence and Pompeo more easily could follow

the pièce de résistance 

                         "Sometimes you have to let them fight a little while . . like two kids in a lot, you’ve got to let them fight and then pull them apart . . ” 

equating the Turks and Kurds as children having a school ground fist fight  they were killing each other  the US military bombed our own base to destroy it so the Turks couldnt take possession of it or its contents  what did it cost the American people to build it and provision it and what did it cost the American people to have their military bomb it  the Military-Industrial Complex its contractors had to be fucking giddy

his pitiful vow to stop “endless wars” – three years into his poor administration America is still in Afghanistan – his vow to “bring our soldiers back home”  in his manner it seems to create a void for Russia to fill -- as Putin might likely want and prefer or has ordered his puppet

this pretenderthis FAKE PRESIDENT hasnt a single ounce on his flabby body comparable or commendable in kind to the late Congressman Elijah Cummings  none of Mr Cummings bravery leadership and patriotism

                                                                                                    for the phony to harangue in such a manner on the day Elijah Cummings died is despicable 

he didnt expect otherwise though

1044,  Reggae Friday,  18 10. 19

https://outlook.live.com/mail/inbox/id/AQMkADAwATYwMAItOTA3MS04MGZhLTAwAi0wMAoARgAAA3WjpKc7cPZFny%2BrLdaubrMHAMepe1zO4DpMpnJXM8BCucMAAAIBDAAAAMepe1zO4DpMpnJXM8BCucMAAudNRRAAAAA%3D

he was older

he was happy he stuck to his convictions he was a proper convict

there was nothing he saw as a boy that convinced him

nothing as a young man either

and older  still nothing

Hemingways prayer was spot on

                                    Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada.

there was nothing he ever saw or heard or read that convinced him of the existence of Gawd

 

1111,  Thursday,  17  10. 19

Elijah:

       https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/rep-holmes-norton-remembers-rep-cummings-we-lost-a-giant-in-the-house-of-representatives-71502917646

1546,  Thursday,  17 10. 19

she crawled into bed with him usually around six silent  like a ghostscarcely stirring the blankets as she slipped under them and tucked up warmly against his side

he roused Heybaby

Grampa.

Good morning sweetheart  Sleep well

Good morning, I slept good.

Goodgirl  Any dreams

I didn’t dream.

No dreams  nuts  I’m sorry you didnt dream

Did you dream?

I always dream When I fall asleep I turn on something like a television and watch my dreams in colour in black and white cartoons text  sometimes my whole dream is written like a book  I have to read it

Really?

Really

Im sorry you didnt dream

Maybe I did. I just don’t remember.

Very likely I cant imagine you dont dream youre so imaginative

I think I did. I think I’m remembering.

Good Ill lay quietly and let you look for it

he almost fell back to sleep

I remember.

Tell me

I dreamed I was in school for three days.

Three days You mean all day all night all day all night all day all night

she giggled
              Yes, all day all night all day all night all day all night.

I came home at night.

At night You walked home alone at nightwerent you frightened Coyotes are restless at night

No. I wasn’t afraid. I rode a coyote home.

Wow thats some dream And you werent afraid

No.

Do you know why you werent afraid

Yes, I think I do.

Tell me

I was dreaming; it was only a dream.

Dreams can’t hurt me; right, grampa.

Thats right They can open your eyesmake you look differently at things in the daytime  sometimes even help you sort out daytime things But they wont hurt you

You dream what you dream for a reason If you want to try you can eventually work them out

Do you think so, grampa.

Yes sweet lil grrl  I know so

I don’t know.

You wont know until you try

Well go out this afternoon after school and buy you a notebook to write your dreams in I know youre just learning to spell but if you like Ill help when I can

Whaddaya think baby

I think I would like that.

Good And if you wantwhile Im gone  you can draw pictures of your dreams in it too

I could do that.

You can do anything you put your mind to love Anything

she didnt answer 


she laid still beside him

after a bit he said I suppose we should get up so you can have breakfast dress and we arent late walking you to school

from a far off place she said  Yes.  Yes, we should.
     

0929,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  16  10. 19
1056,  Thursday,  17  10. 19

Rainer Maria Rilke
                     I believe in all that is unspoken.

he read that in a text as a reply a comment a link in a chain which regarded a very close friend who was fighting an existential battle

I believe in all that is unspoken.
                                                 Whasat say

It says shit

Nothing

Theyre not offering any support

Why wouldnt someone say exactly what they felt

Why wouldnt they extend themselves if they were authentic

seemed to him they were being poetic painting with pretty words avoiding making a commitment halfass  who needs halfass support while his friend is playing all their chipshas pushed them all out on the table  existentially   their skin on the line

it made him want to go pay a visit to the faux-poetthe quoter
                                                                 which was a bad idea  he knew it

still

        still

               put up or shaddup  make a commitment

0827,  Twosday,  17  9. 19

1645,  Saturday,  12  10. 19

Trevor Hall  You Can’t Rush Your Healing  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwHVS7Q5cOI&feature=youtu.be

Golden Paws All Breeds of Cats and Dogs Eatery it didnt say that   thats what he read

often he read things that werent there

however what he read wasnt offbase 

                                        it went back to a time when Hmong emigrated to Minneapolis during the late Seventiesearly Eighties  their promised reward for fighting with America against the rising Red Tide  against Communism

he thought it was a real shitty thing to do to the peoplethe Hmong

they were from Southeast Asia

sultry

hot mountains  jungle

they fought for America against the North Vietnamesethe pajamaed Viet Cong the people who bore no resemblance to the black and white Americans talk about painting a bullseye on your back or foreheadFuck which is why he resisted the Draft no dominoes were tipping or falling in Vietnam nothing but the smooth fluid monkeygreased machinations of the American Free Market businessmen should have dressed in costume then allowed to play their games at base-level  on the front lines

Nah

     businessmen arent military aside from their thinking and strategies other peoplecheap help expendable could die in their stead their expertise was extracting money in any given circumstance situation 

                                                                                             bloodlappers  moneyed cunts

Aah hed taken himself offtrack 

                                  Ohwell ohwell  oh well

he wasnt overseas now 

while in-country he ate whatever walked flew squirmed or swam

he feltthinking about it  that he wasnt really offbase  imagining a Cat and Dog Eatery in California it was a kennel

no matter 

hed eat

1334,  Twosday,  10  9. 19

1441,  Saturday,  12  10. 19

The Beatles  Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kc1DVyZ_t20

five times five times scribbled in chalkin the same hand  at odd intervals along the side of the road

the first time surprised himit was written on the side of a concrete curbpalette that an ironworked dimpled sewer cover was inlayed

given its messageits obscure location  weeds grew between seams in the concrete whoever wrote it had to pull the weeds forwardout of the way to write their message he had a keen eyehe usually saw things other people didnt

because he looked

he thought it was a one-off 

then he rethought damning himself that he considered it a one-off things were never a one-off  he was a superior customercare representative because he didnt believe the computer system he used was infallible IT accused him of scrutiny  Gawddamnright You have to buy into the cosmetic perfection technology believes it is I dont

he found errors repeatedly

                             they said they didnt have the time to correct them

Then I will

it was tedious

he knew he was missing errors

he did the best he could

he couldnt muster any assistancehelp from his colleagues

they told him he was being petty

If it was your moneyyour pocketbook youd care significantly

even that commonsense accusation didnt win him any support

it wasnt their money

he went it alone

No it wouldnt be a one-off

and it wasnt  it occurred four more timeswhy was the writer so insistent

how many times is one allowed to commend themselves

he thought Anne Boleyn  To Jesus Christ I commend my soul; Lord Jesus, receive my soul.

Once

he wasnt too sure repeated appeals secured anything

frankly he was surprised after the first message he didnt discovercome across a shabby carcass

he fingered his cellfone

                         hed call cops to cleanup a mouldering suicide that was probably the extent of him contacting them others thingsand he had he handled on his own

no body 

then another scribble

and another anotheranother

the writer bored himall yipyap and no action

probably psychotic or drugaddled

drugaddled needed to keep it to themselves 

psychos  well they needed to saythey needed help

I commend my soul to the Lord Jesus Christ to ascend to God

What if ones soul didnt want to go

1334,  Twosday,  10  9. 19

1253,  Saturday,  12 10. 19

The Beatles  In The End  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12R4FzIhdoQ

Awh, baby, you couldn’t paint a prettier picture of us? I mean, most people are going to miss what you’re implying.

I could give a flying fuck wha those bozos think I only care about you and mewha we mean to each other Everyone else is outside lookin inan they dont know wha theyre lookin at

Theyre unwilling  to take the time to see

Which is awright

Our relationship is ours 

But lichen, baby, lichen, really? Not so attractive. People might think our relationship is dull, or rather unattractive, lichen isn’t overtly attrac . .

. . Its starkly beautiful

You think . .

. . I think

I think lichen is fascinating.

I think were fascinating

                           he fixed her in his eyes

                                               

You amaze me; you’re an amazing man.

Thank you. 


I think as we gaze at each other we might very well be gazing into a mirror Were fortunate  We are wonderful complements complements that have always fascinated me tossed me end over end

Besides baby Id counter any detraction by reminding them Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Thank you. Thank you for always standing up for us; for me.

Not necessary babe The reality is our relationship might burn other peoples houses down They havent a clue about us an I aint one to say

I love you, love you very much.

I love you buckwheat

Besides  If push were to come to shove Id shove Galeano Voices of Time down their throats

Ha. You’re too swee . .

. . You know Im not

You say you’re not, but you’re the sweetest man I’ve ever known.

Take a compliment Joe Thank you

Which quote, love?

Two actually

              Witnesses  Before there was a before, when the world was barely a baby, without color or sound . . can you imagine . . there was blue algae streaming oxygen, they gave color to the sea and the sky. Then one fine day, a day that lasted millions of years, some blue algae decided to turn green. And bit by tiny bit the green algae begat lichen, mushrooms, mold, medusas, and all the color and sound that came later, as we did, to unsettle the sea and the land.

Then Greenies  . . the lichen is born of the sea, made meadows. They invaded the kingdom of stone, conquered it, turned it green . . . lichens live where no one lives: on the frozen steppe, in the burning desert, on the peaks of the highest mountains.

That's beautiful, babe.

Yes  Like you   Galeano wrote beautifully truthfully  

We as lichen live together where others might believe is undesirable where things are too scarcetoo sparse an because we feed support nurture each other we are indomitable

Would you like to suggest an alternative

I couldn’tcan’t.

We are before time

We will be after time

We are daunting

I dont care a gawddamn what others think

0924,  Twosday,  1  10. 19

1530,  Reggae Friday,  11  10. 19

The McCoys  Hang On Sloopy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2NUZzB8_XHM

The Nobel Peace Prize

it is known he wants it badlyhe thinks he deserved it for talking with North Korea

but compare and contrast

this years Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to Ethiopian Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed

https://www.npr.org/2019/10/11/769191358/nobel-peace-prize-goes-to-ethiopias-prime-minister?utm_source=npr_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=20191011&utm_campaign=breaking-news&utm_id=28916831&orgid=

and Drumpf  ahPresident Donald J. Trump

https://www.npr.org/2019/10/07/767904589/shocking-trump-is-criticized-for-pulling-troops-from-syrian-border

itd be a cold crusty day in Hell

1152,  Saturday,  12  10. 19

Cat Stevens  Peace Train  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjUyM_xd6IA