Ah  

          he beat them back and stepped outside his house barefooted barechested wearing shorts to stand in the sun feel it on his back feel the breath of the day move around him to embrace commune with whatever might 

he brought his pen and clipboard in case he was moved to record anything

a text arrived bingbing  bingbing he wasnt thinking of that communing

he dug the cell out of his pocket

no  two texts they always sounded like one

--  i’ll be a better person  period

--  i’ve eaten terribly for three weeks and i’m sad at my weight

he texted her earlier that morning about her being the best employee at the firm a non-profit  her can-do attitude left the rest of the staff in the dust  unfortunately left behind the rest of the staff sat back  why should they do anything when she can-do it

he tried passively to make her see that in a group setting it was human nature to see if someone was willing to pick up the slack 

        and if someone did  then it was really human nature to pay out as much slack as possible

she enabled the staffs lassitude

her eating was another matter

usually she was exceptionally mindful

she had a little fuckin scale she weighed out her portionsdrove him nuts

the damn thing drove him nuts because he ate what he wanted to eathe never worried

But youre at the gym six days a week she remarked

Youre correct   Maybe I go to the gym so I can eat and drink whatever I want

                                                                Well call it a Love Story moment  Working out is never having to say you worry about what you ate

he muttered  Come on commune Interrupt

some mourning doves mourned

some blackbirds cawed

a jay screamed How is it they never go hoarse 

the sound of the traffic running on the 101 two blocks west he imagined long ago as whitewater

he hoped hed hear the cry of the neighborhoods young hawk

white clouds slipped overhead noiselessly their bellys a slight gray

--  Youre the better employee.  Per not eating well, you just need some care, a homecooked barbecue. Tri-tips are on sale. Green salad. Fresh vegetables. Fresh fruit for dessert. Greek yogurt and blueberries?

SEND

     Jesushe noted the time  Time to shower

no communing this afternoon

coming back inside his books jabbered at him again   

Hey gang he replied Thats why I went outside  Im allowed to switch up my routine Im not here to be your bitch

he set his clipboard and pen on the coffee table went into the bathroom and started the shower

showering he heard indie his cat on the bathroom linoleum slapping the pen he left on his clipboard around the floor and against the baseboard

1515,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  4. 17

1051,  Thursday,  27 4. 17

1364 days remaining or less

Love Story https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5-8_1uCzR8

Evangelist  The World That I Created  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqaUPki2Tuo

   

Whawas wid dese fuckin naps he slurred wiping sleep out of his eye  he moved the cat off his chest rolled onto his side and looked at the cheap round Timex on the cardboard box he used as a bedstand 

it saw him looking  it raised its hands in accusation pointed its stubby fingers at him  1:27 

he yawned in its face wide  the force of the yawn shut his eyes

he conceded to the nap at 11:33 

laying down he figured the nap might have had something to do with prime numbersnope ones no primethree is  not thirtythree  but a three an three were

he didnt figure much beyond that because indie his cat jumped up on the bed near his hip  he sat up and snatched him then held him to his chest as he laid back down

indie didnt need any persuasion  he purred  he could feel indie vibrate his ribs

he closed his eyesprime numbers

he was out like a light     

electricity gone

he worked part-time  nights

got home

had a light supper so it didnt lay heavy in his belly when he went to sleep

he didnt have a set schedule

hours fell weekdays weekends  mishmash

finally after a year and a half he requested a couple of weekends or a couple of weekend days off a month  he figured a year and a half were dues

he asked it of the new management hires

management hires turned over quickly

this was the third he was under in his year and a half with the company

this management asked him if hed consider entering managementNo  No thank you  I dont agree with much corporate does and if one enters management one has to drink the kool-aid  they cant throw rocks at the glass house

Id rather throw rocks

his naps werent the result of working evenings weekend evenings for a year and a half

they werent the result of him being depressedhe wasnt depressedyou had to have feelings to be depressed

he cauterised his years agostood too close to the fire that consumed his wife blackened her unrecognisable to everyone but him

hell  he recognised her in his dreams when she came to him disguised as other women

he frustrated her in death as in lifeHow did you know it was me

The hell  ya kiddin me babe  you can change the colour of your eyes change the face youre tryin to hide them in  but you cant change for a moment the way youve always looked at me Not ever  Ill know you no matter who you look like

not work

not depression

not lack of sleephe slept like a rock

not lifting at the gym or the swimmingphysically exhausted

not boredumb

not nothing  really

probably just a break from the routine

and that aint never a bad idea

1400,  Twosday,  25  4. 17

1444,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  26  4. 17

1365 days remaining or less