https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gX2DXtoHw6Q&index=3&list=PLmOjNu-fqMJmegKLTbKaPvZ3mWUEo_XuI

he had driven up or walked up that business park parkway to El Camino Real hundreds of times while his wife was alive 

                                                           and hundreds of times since she perished

while inside the car its headlights shone up into the air as it climbed an embankment to the street 

its headlights painted a street pole across El Camino atop which a streetlight was mounted and took center stage glaring at him through the windshield

he usually lowered his eyes not to sacrifice his night vision and under his breath he bitched city management for its poor placement the streetlight every time reminding him of architects who drew buildings but not having to live in them they often overlooked errors that an astute carpenter might recognise as apparent and obvious  although if the carpenter was as slack as the architect then in turn the errors might be seen by a possible buyer who would be put off and confounded how it was that between two professions they didnt see(or didnt care) to correct the errors and built it anyway

apparently street and city officials wouldnt be exiting the business park during the evening

all this shit was irritatingly apparent to him only because he spent six years drafting in industrial arts through junior high and high school and ten years afterwards realising buildings and homes from blueprints bringing them up out of the earth from foundation to erecting sticks walls storeys and roofs  his bitter irritation with haphazard rote and their deficit not to step back and away and look to really see  then catch and remedy their mistakes 

his experiences in construction rarely seemed capable of escaping their destiny  to be a link in a chain of blame

when he walked home out of the parkway he could sidestep and ignore the lamplight the belligerent sentinel who watched in the dark cyclopean single-eyed a monster or something monstrous in the world 

there was much monstrous in the world  he didnt need a reminder for as often as he left there  he was imbued with current events politics news(a newsboy who hawked papers and also delivered a morning route every day) he didnt need a push to see the monstrous  You dont have to tell me the worlds been shaved by a drunken barber*

but during those hundreds of times before his wife perished the streetlamp burned 

it glared  it nagged  and dependent on his mood if his mood had legs though he typically was able to exhaust himself in the gym while away his angst dislodge any residual horseshit from his day contending with people  the damn thing could be annoying or niggardly

when he drove he often amused himself by burying the light behind the rearview mirror and pausing before taking his right he took account of his restless shadow his head and shoulders cast onto the backseat the mirrors shadow like a gun barrel to his skull  blunt  or an odd antenna

he humoured himself whenever he could

he was one of the jokers Dylan wrote of and Hendrix sang

                                                however  after his wife perished

his jokes were bitter  acerbic   often sarcastic and sardonic

they shared a very deep connexion 

he bolted upright in bed

awakened by a surly SNAP

Whos there

no one was there

he listened to his heart pound

he listened to his breath lay over it like cheap frost

then it wasnt as if he sat in bed at all

but was suspended

there

      and not there

in the dark bedroom growing more and more black

staying the nights light and breath from entering through the screened window

Papa

his daughters voice

his daughters voice in the doorway

he couldnt see

he couldnt see her at the doorjamb

Papa

then he saw her silver tears  in her eyes  silvereyes  the silver streaking her cheeks 

fearful eyes

Papa

hecroaked Yes  Sweetheart

The phone  The hospital

he didnt need either

he knew

he knew she was dead

he knew the call was a formality

an informant calling

he was supposed to be a cog in it

Tell them well be right there

hed never been hit so hard so hard

he boxed sparred  he made Chicagolands Golden Gloves semifinals

never sohard

and yet had the breath to screamNO                                                                                          

NO

even though he knew better

                                                               and since she perished                               

often when he rolled up on El Camino

braked to hold the car on the incline

the streetlamp snapped off

its element coil suffering a duulll burnt red

the first time it shut off he was walking up the parkway

it arrested him

he was thinking of his wife

he stood and looked up at the lamp

stared into its blacker self into the blacker space vacated

with nowhere to be

his daughters had moved away and were into their lives as they should be

with nowhere to be

he stood there waiting

he was oblivious that traffic never passed on El Camino Real that cars didnt come up behind him

he waited

then the light blinked on again 

within a minute

never more

Odd

though it became less Odd the more it happened

if he was in his car and made his righthand turn he watched its blackness through his sideview mirror

it flashed back on before he drove a hundred yards

Flash  Hello   Soon

              it happened at different times of the night

itd be burning bright then gone

BLACK

he couldnt tell if it mocked him or teased

and when it happened it elicited a mutter or a groan  they were particularly rare because he wasnt one to talk to himselfdidnt bray or try to sort things out aloud

he didnt converse with himself

those words and ideations he left unspoke 

he let them to sort themselves out on a page or pages of a letter to his daughters  his parents  his sister  

or when he wriote

2000,  Monday,  20  2. 17

0941,  Twosday,  21  2. 17

1104,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  22  2. 17

                                                                                        

1428 days left or <

* Meet John Doe  drunken barber  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ool_2XNScVQ

Star-Spangled Banner  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoZXu-nlbzo

Dylan/Hendrix  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY

Here we are now, entertain us:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg

(he just “now” recognised Kurt Cobain was lefthanded  howd he miss that?) 

he missed the cherry man

                  he was one of the few who refused to submitrefused to let the crowd have him the cherry man without a fight  the black water demandedthe black water said it must be him   

oh how it infected them 

                                                                          

                                                  

                                     the earthworked cistern in the public way had been desperately low

its water had to be guarded(to protect the people from themselves)   it was rationed   it was a hard time

everyone had their sips but were thirsty  

then under a bright yellow afternoon sun the black water began bubbling up into the cistern at its center and on a jagged diagonal refilling it    cool  black  water    buckets tethered with rope were heaved into it and dragged out people greedily slacked their thirst they gobbled it and where the water ran out of their jaws and splashed on their faces where it twined at their throats and fell on their chests and arms and thighs it dyed their skin and etched them  then as the dye slowly dissipated it stitched and draped their throats and weaved high up on their chests and shoulders slender Araneaen designs  

the cisterns native green water was pushed to its edge 

it remained tepid and choked with organic debris  but he and others still drank it 

though he didnt drink the black water he could hear it bid him  and those who did chided him something was wrong with him didnt he want to kill his thirst fill his belly as they had replenish his bodyWhat is wrong with you   and when there is many many asking there is anger and hurt and confusion   You are one of us  You should drink as we did

he told them as they were welcome to drink the water they wished he could drink as he wanted  but that only infuriated them

they suspected him

they suspected everyone who didnt drink the black water

it was then the black water demanded the cherry man             

                                      he was infected  forever a virgin deemed by his missformed misshapen body a bastard child  carried in a sling until his mother couldnt bear him then transmitted in a hobbled cart then transmitted in a hideous wheelchair  pushed on his ungainly uneven arms he moved awkwardly  he was weak and easily exhausted

the black water risen up out of the earth like bile demanded his sacrifice  and those who drank it descended upon him  and those who stood and defended the wretched villager were beaten until their hands could no longer hold himwere beaten senseless 

in the bloodred blackness that filled his eyes and blinded him he could hear his terrible screams  he heard the villagers beat him the dull thuds of tree limbs against his body the whips of thin branches the jabs of iron shovels digging in the earth digging his grave  he heard shovel slaps on his humped back and shoulders  the ugly sound of his skull caved in  his bleating bleating  bleating until dirt fell into his mouth and he was buried alive

unseen by the drinkers

                 they were too rapt too glutted with water too excited that their prayers were fulfilled that they didnt see the black bubbles bob at its surfacethey didnt see inside the clandestine bubbles the pinpointed scarlet-red and shinyblack crustaceans spiderlike things bob up and then sink again bound up and latticed inside their elastic slime-excreted orbs 

bobbing only to the surface to break it gobble fresh air and sink again

but they saw

            they werent going to try and convince them

since the drinkers murdered the cherry man  sides were drawn  and yet despite their superior numbers they didnt come for themthey were obviously distracted and uncomfortable with their presence   but they didnt come for them

they didnt understand why they didnt

then suddenly he understood

they werent told yet

                      and against that horrible black shadethat stunning damning realisation  their few took up all the blades they could carry and stealthily from the thin without to in slaughtered the drinkers and pushed those who remained into the black water  which suddenly boiled and erupted with clinging things that stuffed their grinning mouths with pinchers and claws full of gore torn from struggling bodies

when the water subsided and lay flat  except for occasional bulges   they struck lanterns on posts at the cisterns edge nearest them and watched throughout the night

during the blackest part of night there was a resonation that brought them to their feet their hands filled with iron 

but there was only the resonation

by the dull purple mornings light they saw the water had receded  it lapped far back and away from the lantern posts

only the brackish green water remained

but there was more than enough for their pitiful few

inside a month the rains fell  and fell    and fell

1052,  Monday,  20  2. 17,  until 1710

1430 days remain or <

Darkjazz  Shadow  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnrH-7URvpc&list=PLDE-fu7XwGjzlstg0So_V0xJLOZK9owZD&index=6