sometimes    though not all the time  he struggled to distinguish between what he dreamt and what is real(realities are different)

                           he knew her  and not from a dream  she stood unashamed across from him  frank  there wasnt anything in the world more attractive to him than a straightforward woman without the utility of wiles or coynot that she didnt possess them    but that she didnt try to use them on him

her lack of shame hinged on what she said to him

Youll forgive me if I am if were not  greedy   We cant help knowing what we know

she stood before a table around which other women sat 

he had not presumed greed accompanied not knowing

                                            stupid he was being stupid

of course greed attended ignorance

the week prior he read several ancient treatises translated under Ecos pen  and they were shocking  they revealed the learned men who wrote them men who could read and write when few did  were exceptionally cruel and ignorant
misogynists for the Church  Inquisitors

greed wires and binds and cobbles and disturbs and frets   

they were perfect cowards

yet at ease  unbound   she freely pronounced We cant help knowing what we know 

greed didnt inspire them

he liked her a lot

            he was confident hed like any of the women who sat behind her

they had bright cat eyes 

white teeth like wolves

and from out of their mouths when they exhaled curled deep blue breaths  they sighed with intelligence

when he bade her goodbye he wished her with his cock and tongue and fingers a sensational day(Heres mud in your eye) and if she could have stopped panting or didnt have her mouth full surely she would have thanked him politely

he thought to himself when he first saw the black leather collar she wore it was gauche  though he soon realised its utility  it was a fine handle to hold so not to lose her from behind and it assured she couldnt back away when he was before her

not that it didnt happenit wasnt a dream 

preternaturally he possessed a gift

women liked himfemales liked him

                         he convinced twins to try him together incited a curiosity if thered be a difference  anChrist there was  when he woke in the morning laying between themwho was the redhead   ahyes their best friendalso a twin  though her twin was stillborn   he was the last person in the world who would abuse or chide her of her sexual and drug anesthesia  and since he didnt fear clones he didnt fear if scientists got their hands on Hitlers genetic stuff  it could easily differentiate into a benevolent artista woman  he remembered reading of a Pharaohs sperm discovered in a canopic jar  the Eastern specialists conceded it might be viable  he remembered the Ice Man  when he was scientifically thawed for study an energetic imaginative scientist basted away and had his bastard    

                                  

women liked himfemales liked him

                          ever since he was a boy

ever since he tipped the scales at six months old at twentyseven pounds  warmpink and gurgling smiling he assembled a six-pak of wetnurses to feed him because his mother was tapped out  she really needed help and they were good-neighbor anxious

although had they peeled back his innocence-baby-veil they would have discovered he was as anxious as they

0513  Monday,  13  2. 17

0203,  Friday,  17  2. 17

1743,  Friday,  17  2. 17

1432 or < days remain

he used to play this game with himself when he was a boy  even then when he knew it wasnt plausibleeven before he knew the words plausible or implausible

 

he liked dirt under his feet  he liked grass and fieldshe loved riding his bicycle to the forest preserves(against his parents wishes and fearmongering) locking it to a tree and walk the horse paths the banks of Des Plaines River walk in its pasture breaks high-step in the woods among its dense trees over the dead and fallen over the cripples that refused to submit that cast seeds and threw up shoots despite their untowardness or decrepitness   

oddly he glimmered and learned peoples natures apart from them through the teaching of the woods and their confiding solitude

                                                                                                        

           Oh  the game   the game he liked to imagine

                                             was coalescing all the sand-and-stone concrete the bitumen tarmac the black-topped scabs which madeup the highways expressways rural routes city and village streets parking lots patios culverts extended waterways dams locks curbs runways railroad platformsanything and everything that laid upon and suffocated the earth(think Jill Mastersons(Shirley Eaton) demise in James Bonds Goldfinger) 

he liked to imagine them moving at once plate tectonics imagine what the wounds would look like after the coarse blunt scalpels crawled past  its sounds  and the while he never imagined it wouldnt happen or wouldnt come home to Americathe great clots wending their way to one of three cities New York Los Angeles or Chicago homing beacons the most obvious places glutted with carbon pheromones(pheromoans) their shroud emissions and exhaustion

he hadnt remembered this game in awhile

he moved to a small rural town

what triggered his remembrance  his eyes blurry from swimming laps  walking across the parking lot walking home  was the uncomely curl of floss laying at the edge of a rain puddle 

he had been looking forward to the anointment of soft rain

floss

why was spent floss laying in the parking lot like a dead pinworm or another parasite

he laughed darkly

           he remembered his very slight humoured disgust at finding an exhausted drooling rubber in a parking lot  on more than one occasion

the floss seemed a new low

unless it was just him

he stomped the tarmac hopeful it might finally kickstart his long imagined culling of poured scabs he imagined the floss could be the last element he needed like a pin pulled from a grenade to set the works in motion

                                                                              he paused

still disgusted

nothing  Nada

JesusChrist 

       he would rather there was fucking than flossing(its carelessness right up there against dogshit on a sidewalk or street when someone preferred not to clean up after their pet)(pet-peeves?)

at home hed warm up with a bourbon

1304,  Thursday,  16  2. 17

1424,  Thursday,  16  2. 17
< 1433

Shirley Eaton  Goldfinger  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USD2Y7wRNgk

Devil Doll  Bourbon in Your Eyes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va3FY-i55bo

the powderblue collision of studios  A B  C in the BACK  arrested him from across the spacious parkway  he imagined its textured blue skin through bare trees and sticks as a wayward piece of sky fallen to earth and stuck in the ground like a small planetary headstone

it was girdled with a yellow strand of black-lettered C A U T I O N tape reminiscent of the ribbon used to form police lines

he had no intentions of trying to walk through a wall  confident hed pull up short

what was this the hubbub
                  early January there were pineworked Christmas wreaths on the doors and strings of coloured lights shining through its windows 

those were now boarded with plywood sheets  their four corners nailed with concrete nails to the stucco

ah   small pale ivory patches sheathed in plastic were affixed to the plywood

UNSAFE

Do Not Enter or Occupy

It is a misdemeanor to occupy this building

(THIS PLACARD IS NOT A DEMOLITION ORDER)

THIS STRUCTURE HAS BEEN INSPECTED, FOUND TO BE SERIOUSLY

DAMAGED AND IS UNSAFE TO OCCUPY AS DESCRIBED BELOW

in a field of four lines written in a weak hand was  Structural Damage

DO NOT ENTER, EXCEPT AS SPECIFICALLY AUTHORIZED IN WRITING BY THE CITY OF BENTON

1-16-17

the insignificant patches followed the ribbon around the buildings corners like Christmas gift tags affixed to other plywood scabs so someone didnt think the city was referring only to entering through the front of the building  that its sides and rear were negated from the Order

he supposed cities had to be blatant(wasteful – it really wasnt their money they were spending) these days so that occupiers or squatters couldnt say they didnt see the notices and equivocate that they hadnt really committed a misdemeanor(he might argue 1-16 -17 was vague read one through sixteen through seventeen   OH  January 16th through 17th   No    OH  January 16, 2017   why didnt you say that)

he was fortunate

          he had a knack for looking through things if they werent appealing  so despite the municipal swag he looked past it past the fresh scabs of plywoodunder the fluttering tarpaulin weakly clinging to the structures flat top and gleamed what could be and maybe was once upon a time before its owner refused to care for and maintain it – they didnt live there did they 

he never figured pride was obsessive you either had it or you didnt  he also figured it was evident if he ever had the chance to lay his eyes on them    pride is exuded     if he cared to refocus his eyes now and saw what really existed he could probably be confident it was a mirrored reflection of  if not them  their soul   a figurative Dorian Gray portrait

he laid his hand on a side wall and felt its heart murmur

Well friend  you cant read but the notice says it is not a demolition order  Theres that  but Im curious what the structural damage is because we havent had a shaker and from what I see aside from the plywood youre the same you were the year before the years before  maybe a bit more faded by the sun   but you still look like a big piece of childrens chalk waiting to be snatched up and scribbled with
If only there were giants

its heart patiently murmured

he patted its side reassuringly  then took his leave


he crossed the parkway and walking away he turned 360s to gaze at it several times as he went  secretly hoping maybe a giant would lift the fake backdrop the curtain and grab the chalk

considered several days prior to penning 1915,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  15  2. 17
1044,  Thursday,  16  2. 17

1434 days or fewer remain