yaknow
having come out ahead bettered more than a few claptraps illconcealed booby-traps
residing in a modest house on an acreage treed parcel bordered by a
National Forest
warmed by an small aromatic fire
enjoying the wholesome company of two feral cats one tom he plucked nearly from out of the jaws
of a dog running loose they sprawled beside him on the overstuffed horsehair sofa
under silent spiders who knitted webs at the corners of the ceiling
watching the flames marbled through
a glass of bourbon marbled through the smoke off his cigar resting in a large
circular crystal ashtray
he reimagined his life
he examined it gazing into the
fire
watched it quietly reclining in the cooling grey ash under the irongrate
pausing ruminating
astonished
how he got to where he was
this cold biting winter night he
tried to remember how things went bust
who crossed the line
who drew it
was it even there
they were on
then they were off
he wasnt one to ever be emotional
maybe because of that she thought
he didnt care firmly for her
although he said he did
maybe he wasnt reassuring enough
if she doubted him
he was set to earn money save it
for a trip he planned since becoming a teenager
their last time out together they
had a real good time
he thought
she said
he
said
but then he didnt call for a
couple of weeks
he didnt think a couple of weeks
would have cooled them
he didnt think
he was too busy hustling work
she knew he wasnt leaving until
the Fall
he wasnt dodging the draft
his number was low
last year guys who had his number
went
but he hadnt received notice to
go down to the draft board
not in the interim
not in those two weeks
he called
her father answered
she was daddys girl
her father said hed give her the
message he called
he called a few days later
he was pretty sure it was only a
few days
her father answered the telephone
again
he took his message and said hed
tell his daughter he called again
her father comforted him told him
she was evidently interested in him
but he was leaving wasnt he
In the Fall he said if he was
able to hit the mark he felt he needed for the trip
what he budgeted
a blue line trip weaving through the country and back
her father said he envied him
he said his plan was sound at
least from what his daughter shared with him
Yes he said he had alternatives
along the way
he prepared and understood what he needed if his plans went south
they hung up
her father said hed give her the
message
never did hear
he figured three strikes and
youre out
he might have lost count
nothing else to do than follow
your path
some years later he heard she
married a guy that was drafted
he died
left her with a child
he hoped she had a plan
hoped she had devised
alternatives for herself
a single young woman with a child
would be tough
later he heard things got real
tough
what he recalled she wasnt tough
wasnt resilient
might have folded up
she wasnt like him
wasnt like him when he finally
reported to the draft board and refused induction three times in the same day
managed all the hoots and howls
and threats
like he told his father
the
military could only trouble him if he went along with it
but it didnt have anything he
wanted
he wasnt inspired by Stars and
Stripes and Patriotism
he wasnt inspired to become a G I
A G I Dad
Government – Issued
Why would I want to become Property of the Government
Hell Dad
I never do what Im told
I have an aversion to Authority
No unfortunately
she wasnt tough or resilient
he heard later her parents were
caring for their grandchild
she committed suicide
1617, Monday,
25 4. 16
