--   You must be desperate

Or mad

Do you really think any parent is going to give this line of questioning   any fucking credence

--   Ill grant its outside of the box

but we havent anything 

                                      right now

for all our diligence  and efforts

Do we

--   No

We do not

Okay

Run with it

But its your baby

Your idea

--   Thank you

I appreciate the my new authority

Young children were going missing 

later found dead

their abductions were eyewitnessed by other preschoolers

the knees of his pants were getting dirty and thin

their fannies growing shiny

interviewing short people was providing arduous to his clothing and joints

                             

but he was making progress as he expected

dumbfounding his critics

stopping their rolling eyes

halting their whaddafuck shoulder shrugs

and leaving their jaws which originally laughed    hanging wideopen

Careful boys   Dont wancha swallowing flies

no police sketch artists

by their height all they were going to be able to describe was Adams apples and jaws 

so he went after the Obvious

                                  clothing color  type of clothes  photographic line-ups made up of cartoon characters

  

Tall and Slender was revealed

                                                    he assessed the suspects height by aligning what turned out to be similar cartoon characters beside scaled automobiles minivans panel trucks traffic signs fence forks in trees windows in buildings writing on those windows

Tall   to people who werent three feet tall or who couldnt count to ten made him think of cartoons

kids were babysat by cartoons

the only thing he Xed from his line-ups in his quest for the animal were cartoons animals

he canvassed the hell out of these brilliant Munchkins and tore up every cartoon avenue imaginable for somewhat handsome faces

most of the little girls said the perpetrator was good-looking 

he enjoyed a good-natured laugh and was slightly suspicious if a little boy even noticed

when he was a young boy

he only noticed pretty girls

no matter their ages

unfortunately two more children went missing during his investigation

 

although he kept his fingers crossed 

 

their bodies werent found

and this sonofabitch wasnt particular about hiding them he always dumping their small violated bodies in public places where if they werent found on sight  they were found by scent

he kept his fingers crossed

well  he figured 

                          wouldnt you know it

out of the mouth of babes

 

a young boy caught his breath pointed  and fainted

he didnt even bother to stick around for the boy to regain consciousness and made a beeline to every witness he interviewed  he rang doorbells throughout the night into morning and child after sleepy child squirmed in their parents arms burst into tears or screamed

its a terrible thing when a Most Wanted picture and its attendant All-points bulletin bears a cartoon character

beat cops flashed them throughout their neighborhoods and quelled nervous or fantastic laughter with steely eyes

Joe Friday would have been proud

one of the childrens body was found in a public water fountain beneath its pointing Poseidonish statuaries

it seemed recently he was growing fond of water

they captured him on an upscale hotel rooftop swimming pool hiding the last childs body

they let him be part of the collar

he hadnt been to sleep in nearly three days

he couldnt say if it was the stress of trying to find the last two children alive seeing the last poor babys body or the monster-looked-so-much-like-the-cartoon-he-was-arrested-by shock

he did remember laughing  

                                           as if they shared a mutual joke

laughing   
                Sorry you got no happy endings  copper  God knows you tried

he did remember feeling like a movie arch-villain who is unable to restrain himself and confesses to his captive nemesis soon-to-die his diabolical plan for World domination

he remembered shoving the cartoon characters poster in his face so he couldnt mistake it so he could appreciate how a child outed him  IDed him

he remembered the animal twisting its muzzle trying to escape the glossy crisp pamphlet shoved in its face

its hands cuffed behind its back   backing up

      

backing up

its laughter a not-so-funny laughter any longer

anguished  

                   aw poor baby

slightly tortured

   

he remembered the shits laughter falling off      falling away        out of his ears

storey after storey   after    storey

 

I think he jumped  he said

I dont remember

thinking 

              one happy ending

2306,  Friday,  11  9. 15

1223, Saturday,  12  9. 15

A redheaded woodpecker was rocking it

pounding away

rapping

it found a sweet spot on a live oak

and its sharp attack echoed and reverberated throughout the limb and out its rotted end as the woodpecker clung to it tenaciously

                    upsidedown

he wished he could knock back

from the inside at the exact place where it knocked

RAP   RAP   RAP

 rap    rap    rap

he wondered if it would shake its head confused

dig a toenail into its earhole clearing it to be sure it was hearing correctly

RAP  RAP       RAP

 rap   rap        rap

                                      dafuck      RAPRAP

                                                        raprap

                                                            he wondered if there was a comparaptive Morse Code for redheaded woodpeckers

briefly elongated pauses imposed as dashes

 

perhaps not

the O in Morse was  --  --  --

he could H  rap  rap  rap  E  rap  L  rap  brieflyelongatedpause  rap  rap  L  rap  brieflyelongatedpause  rap  rap

but how could he fashion and manifest an O  its two breaks between the three dashes

if he briefly sought elongated pauses to impose them

a bigger mind than his  he determined

perhaps he and the redheaded woodpecker were nothing more than curious birdbrains

then why would he want to torment the woodpecker by returning its RAPs

or maybe in all honesty it was because he was the birdbrain in their obvious equation

if he could break its code  if he had a proper tuning with a Turing Enigma machine and would gratefully eat acorns and beech nuts or old food hidden away in crevices in the trees and adeptly take flying insects midair

he would know what woodpeckers thought

Hell . . . he already knew plenty of what peckerwoods thought

itd be innarestin to get to the other side of things

                                                                                wouldnt it 

he certainly thought so

afternoon,  Sunday,  30  8. 15

fleshed out 1526,  Sunday,  30  8. 15

* http://whiteprisongangs.blogspot.com/2009/05/peckerwood.html

Ohboy

    it all began with the brief suggestion two words actually that appeared in Edgars Loon Lake   honeygravid weight

what the hell was honeygravid

he tried first to look up honeygravid swinging big and missed and was nearly spun around and fell facefirst across homeplate

at least it was before the home crowd

he ditched the honey and found gravid in the dictionary  singularly  pregnant   honeypregnant?

and then because when you have tools available to you you use them  he dropped honeygravid weight into the smelter of google and ended up with only three choices(in 0.25 seconds)  the first a [PDF] at Hentai Foundry

he knew what a foundry was

but what the hell was that?(he was beginning to feel especially ignorant) Hentai?

when he accessed Hentai Foundry he found himself tippling at the entrance of an tripleX site bearing a sumptuous preternatural manga image of an underaged overdeveloped girl who immediately reminded him of Archies Veronica

if Veronica had Bettys blonde hair and tomboyish commonsense and sensuality 

  

Veronica always seemed to him to have something stuck up her ass an entitled air despite his overwhelming preference for auburn brunette or ravenhaired girls

he remembered the commercials when he was a kid  

                                                                                     Blondes have more fun

even then he figured that line couldnt possibly catch on  who would buy into that  a decidedly thin and abject beauty offering which bore the insidious stamp and branding of marketeers

                                                               

the concept never inspired him 

 

Blondes were as interesting to him as the skin formed on top of boiled milk  leprous  and scalding

for the sake of full disclosure he didnt enter the site

                                                                                       when an entrance leaves little or nothing to the imagination
        

theres no reason to go in

0112,  Sunday,  30  8. 15