13.2.15



He told her
almost feebly
                      I need you to save me from myself

the words rolled out of his mouth       and echoed
and confused him
                                                                                        he heard them in someone elses
voice
           his words  another voice   
                                                     bitter
they smacked of everything he didnt believe in

                                                                           Save me   from me


he recognised in a brilliant mirrorballed moment how pitiful he sounded


when he had empowered himself
scores of times
 
rebuked himself
                                                       to Know Thyself   Love Thyself
                                                            
and if that wasnt enough to compel him then whyknot   
                                                                                                   Kill Thyself

something in the Bible about that

not that he was impressed



afterall
 
             we are each our own
if we have nothing   we have ourselves

to Save  or Throw away



he didnt need any help with that

he apologised

 



1717,  Thursday,  12  2. 15 

12.2.15

Bun Davis



I have sampled this life  Mark Twain wrote  and it is sufficient


Its interesting to read this quote  when later that same evening  the sixth night running 
her laptop  which they placed on the diningroom table  has turned itself on at just past
Three o’clock in the morning

from bed they heard the start-up music begin  and emerging into the front room they see
slivers of light emitted  radiating out of its flat face in all directions
white shards  a halo laying up on the old wood table top

the black laptop  its illuminating crown


the first night they heard it she heard it first
she took him up and away from his dreaming
it was the guarded urgency in her timid  cautious  breathy voice that pry him open like a raw oyster into fired consciousness


she trailed several steps behind him into the hall  a buffer he would have cautioned if she hadnt taken it 
if there was someone in the house as she thought he didnt want her getting caught up in the violent
and thered be violent because in the founding  the raw splashing iron poured for his cerebral cortex  flight was left out

entering their front room  his arms came up like a boxers to the centre of the ring
his night vision glowing
if he were the intruder hed thrown on the light right now
blind him  then step aside and let him lash out  utterly disadvantaged
and ripe for the picking
thats the first he heard the sounds of her laptop 
then saw the jeweled table top


all the juice in his body went down
turning  he saw in her face that hers hadnt
but then she was having to contend with her nerves and imagination longer than he

he had a long imagination
but she easily bested him

--   Sweetheart  Did you put the machine to sleep  or kill it last night
--   To sleep
I rarely kill it
But it wakes only when I open it

--   Thats what I thought

--   Yes  thats the way it works

--   Well love  not this evening     evidently

--   Strange

--   Yeah strange
But better this oddball than a bloodfest huh

she got him immediately
always his eat-free-for-weeks analogy
and she knew he meant it
--   Yes  Better the laptop glitched on


--   Better


Now
Are you gonna be able to fall back to sleep

she laughed
--   I guess its not a funny question

I think 
            eventually

--   I got work in the morning  What time is it

--   When I heard it it was Three-thirty-three

--   Witching hour  Our restless roommates time

--   I suppose it is

--   New though  Theyre usually into stomping around creeping in the bedroom doorway or
writhing black on the walls

--   Usually

--   Nice trick kids
he said aloud to their roommates
 
they were affable to their roommates  the house had been theirs longer than they owned it
possession was nine-tenths of the Law




the next night the laptop roused him first   that was unheard of   he could sleep through
a freight train roaring on tracks inside a half block away
which he had as a kid growing up in Chicago

he woke her  gently  shaking her by her thigh
--   Babe  Whats your time

sleepily
--   My   wha

--   What time do you have
--   Why
--   Your laptops on again  Listen

she heard it too  he could feel the electricity in her spine vibrate the bed

--   Three-seventeen
--   Earlier this morning


the black crown at the center of its auricle



the successive mornings were clustered like a neat grouping on a target  it didnt matter if she left it in sleep-mode or turned it off

they evidently werent impressing their roommates


then he mentioned the Obvious
which was it kick in the head  because he endless invoked “it goes without saying” throughout conversations they had  a tongue-in-cheek joke between them that pleased them more than it should
--   We may either have a new roommate  Or a visitor

--   Ya think

together  slightly mused  they chorused    It goes without saying

--   Youre hilarious
--   You aint bad yourself

--   And so

--   Yeah  So
Its outside our realm

Were bugs on the glass looking in

--   Do we have to be bugs

--   We can be anything you want love
We just have to be something  outside  looking in

--   A dingo  In the Australian Outback

--   Want our reputation to precede us  huh

--   Thats one tack
--   That is
But that aint the reputation weve laid out this past week  is it

--   Good point

I just prefer not being a bug

--   Ill be the bug  You be a butterfly
--   I could be a butterfly  she smiled

he smiled back at her
she was really bright
--   Butterflys a bug love
--   But its pretty
she wasnt gonna let him take her down at all

--   Youre beautiful
she was beautiful
he couldnt stand it when anyone referred to her as pretty or cute
she was beautiful shaken from bed at Three in the morning


--   So which do you think
 
Roommate or visitor

--   Visitor  Maybe slipped in through a portal and is biding their time
Impatiently  I might add

The roommates have been quiet

--   They have  They seem to pick and choose their time though

--   They do  And theyve had access to your machine this whole time
I dont think theyre tech-savvy

--   No  theyre like you

--   Right
Im gonna haunt you in your bed   Yaknowdat right 

--   I do
she leered

--   Youre nuts
I was thinking though

An original thought

--   I thought you dont believe in original thought

--   Not usually  but Ive been thinking hard outside the box on this

--   You  outside the box
                      
Oh how novel

--   Lemme hear your take 
Weve been getting mail since filling out those damn rural route forms for the post office
attesting to who lives here

for Bun Davis

she laughed
then the features on her face pinched slightly
--   Oh man
--   Weve been playing it off on indie
Indie Bun Davis  the cat
The odd catalogues  Bun Davis or Current Addressee


--   Youre thinking Bun Davis

--   Only because as much as indie likes my pens  hes never scribbled a thing
Let alone sneak down to the mailbox to send off for catalogues


I dont believe in coincidences  But things can coincide

--   Thatd be a coincidence

--   A squirrel  say Lefty  fumbles an acorn while running on top the fence  You drop a glass in the kitchen

A coincidence 
Or two disparate things that happen to coincide

--   Gotcha

Bun Davis

--   Bun Davis


--   Roommates  And Bun

--   Beginning to feel like we have . . .

--   An inn

--   Almost  I was thinking a hostel 
Or hostile  hah



1549,  Thursday,  12  2. 15