30.9.20

 

its just a nada day


Friday – before he conceived of Reggae Fridays -- 8 January 1993

he was recording Miles Davis off the radio a hep radio station K-PIG broadcasting out of Cayucos had a sister station in Freedom East Southeast ESE of Santa Cruz  he was a decent Boy Scout with a compass without a compass  indecent  
          he lacked a North Star
everyone said so

he dismissed them 

he was an Erratic who drifted on glacier sheets of ice deposited here and there and having nothing in common with his foster surroundings

if he found commonality he found it distasteful 
                                                he jumped aboard another ground-floating sheet of ice to new climes

 

he complained that night as he looked over fourfive projects that were still in rewrite-form that he didnt finish anything

he loved starting new projects 
                                 if women could carry pregnancies like he carried manuscripts only occasionally would a child be born  
               other children miscarriages or stillborn
but the child born would be born to a committed adult an adult who would kill to provide for them  
                                                                                                        amid so many uncommitted adults parents

brains have become so large to contain their possibilities probabilitiestheir choices that things innate bugs fish animals mammals perhapsplants do as human beings once did though they have been crowded mangled stunted strangled murdered  worse ignored 
                             if only human beings were blades of grass Leaves of Grass randomly  Do you think it so easy to have me become your lover? / Do you think the friendship of me would be unalloy’d satisfaction? / Do you think I am trusty and faithful? / Do you see no furthur than this façade, this smooth and tolerant manner of me? / Do you suppose yourself advancing on real ground towards a real heroic man? / Have no thought O dreamer that it maybe all maya, illusion?

if humans were blades of grass theyd be confused by their colour structure and purpose


our Big Brains certainly enjoy us 
                                 they have certainly ravished and enjoyed us

2216,  Monday,  20  1. 92
1414, Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  9. 20

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