He thought he was tougher than that

but apparently he had a soft side

for softheads

 

he found himself surprisingly sensitive to Faulkners words from The Sound and the 

Fury:         

         “And folks dont like to look at a looney. Taint no luck in it.”

reading the line upset him  it upset him something fierce

its sentiment were true in ‘29   true in ’67

nearly forty years growing up

but content to be as stupid

as if no time at all had passed

looneys  retards     misfits

embarrassments

through no fault of their own and yet

still faulted

because they Made everything suddenly inconvenient

slowed everyone up

and they really resented being slowed up

not that they had anything to speed to

but because they were impatient

and selfish

and a looney needed to be cared for

needed to be tended

 

and Selfishness had to sit back and take it

                       

because Selfishness was only interested in itself

--   Let the looney fend for himself  I got to

--   An you got a lick of sense  lucky you

a looney was a shackle everyone tried to slip

and shackled to it

Yes  It

It wasnt even human

as an inconvenience isnt human

Its a thing

--   Cant ya git someone else to do it

--   Aint nobody else  Youre it

Ill be back soon  You take good care of him

Ill know if you dont

and she did

her soul was wound up inside out with his and she felt every slight every injury every hurt

he ever suffered   as if it fell on her own skin   inside her own head

Goddammit I hate dat looney

Draggin him round

wipin his nose

keepin him happy

tryin to make him happy when he gets to start bawlin

--   Dammit  Ill slap ya if ya dont shaddup

The look he gives me the tears welling up in his eyes almost to say You slap me anyway

Im cryin cuz I know yare gonna mistreat me Yall slap me   and slap   and slap and slap

and slap me as if I were a thing that cant feel anything

and he slapped him because he looked at him too long

                                                                                         then was immediately angered more

because the mark from the slap on his face wasnt going to fade before she got back

and she never   never never understood why he had to hit him

she never did

not ever

Stupid looney  Why doncha just die

no matter   not ’29  ’67  or 2014

looneys always screwing something up for other people

and they have to be put out and they have to be responsible because the looney cant

because the looney cant

she came home

the mark was on his face

 

she punished him 

                              and getting up off the bed still holding her hairbrush in her hand

--   Because he cant  Youre right

He cant do most things you can do

You ought to try and remember that  most every little thing you can do

And then think

He cant

or ever will

2200,  Day-Between-Two-Ts,  5  11. 14