if that was the deal

he would have struck it

wouldntve thought twice

it was the deal he wanted

but there wasnt anyone Anything he could pitch

a fuckin wild goose chase

he chased it for a bit

any way he could think

any way he could lean

when he havent faith

faith has no need of him

reciprocal deal

he got it

just didnt think hed ever need it

that was the err in his judgment

it wasnt for him

maybe if he practised it

he could have shared it

but he was pretty sure it wasnt doled out that way

separate accounts

separate ledgers

separate accountability

faith

novel idea

didnt need a reason when you had faith

probably why he didnt met many reasonable people

they were sucking it up for their afterlife

fuck life

by their measure life came after they were dead

when he was dead

hed be dead

anif he went anywhere

itd be where he was before he was born

which he didnt remember

no

it was a thought that crossed his mind when he panickedwhen his frustration was so immense he couldnt get his head around it 
          he wanted to beat something

he was already beatup

that well was dry

picked to the bones

bones

thats how reduced and helpless he felt

well

at least he could feel

and hed feel this long  long   long after it was over

he couldnt strike a deal if he wanted

how obscene

0927,  Monday,  27  4. 20