he plucked wild grass and weeds out from around the apricot seedlings that grew under a mature tree where they fell randomly or were buried by squirrels

stored for the fall

squirrels are an industrious lot

the original Johnny Appleseed

buryers of acorns and walnuts

enthusiastic chiders second-to-none if you happened to find yourself under a tree where they are feeding or deftly gathering

he tended a petite grove of sixteen called them his Sweet Sixteen

he hoped the gophers underground would give him a pass this year

last year they gnawed the roots of every one but three

those three he called his Stalwart

their fortune or survival odds he considered as not-necessarily-survival-of-the-fittest perhaps survivors-of-the-fattest-gopher-who-prematurely-called-his-dinner-quits

his daughter questioned his extensive use of the hyphenated subjects  called them caffeinated hyphens

which he drolly corrected  No  Thats caffiend hyphens

Yes  I often forget your need to create new words to serve your peculiar tastes your very peculiar taste in everything odd

Odd?  Pray tell

Stop  Odd  Where shall I begin  Calf brains You ate my science project . . .

. . . with eggs I thought you and your mother were being sweet to me It was near my birthday

Yeah

Sweet                                                                                                                                   

Calf brains beef tongue oxtail kidneys heart liver

What are you Chinese
Eat anything on the planet that walks flies swims or burrows

What wont you eat?

How do you know youre not going to like something if you dont try . . .

. . . I do
I was unnerved when you told Grandma youd eat human flesh if it was a matter of survival  Talk then was members of the rugby team who survived the plane crash in the Andes

And she said shed rather die than eat human flesh

And you said Great! That means theres more for me to eat

Squirrel porcupine snake

You ate rattlesnake

You made it look so damn delicious  Smacking your lips  Nibbling it fresh off the barbecue

It was wasnt it

It was  Yes  You fed me pork rinds

I hate that I love pork rinds

Jesus dad

Theres nothing you wouldnt eat

Thats not true  Actually there is

What

Me . . . Id be dead so I couldnt eat me

See

Then theres your impossible awkward green thumb

Things that by all means shouldnt grow but you take it upon yourself to tend them and they grow defying what common sense would dictate

Not if you love it  Not if you care for it  Let it know its wanted

If it had a brain

No  It need only be animate  All living things know care  Provided for cared for they flourish

Handfeeding wild pigs feral cats A mangy one-eyed three-legged cat

They have my undying respect

Anything disadvantaged is worth advantaging

They have to work harder

They dont know entitlement

Theyre my kind of earthlings

Earthlings dad  Earthlings

Earthlings

It comes back to ya  it comes back to ya babe  

No doubt dad   I can see that 

1415,  Saturday,  4  6. 16