3.10.21

 

      memorys  he liked how it looked 

                  of things long gone
quiet silhouettesshadows drifting on wet mist  lazy ash blown  siftingdiffuse like flour fine sand  intimate conversations
              yet his HOWL at him dog him wont let him blink or pause for fear he may forget may not remember
they wellup out of the distant past hurtleup out of deep chasmstunnels humming vibrating poignant remembrances that will not escape him
                   they haunt him some say  which he was okay withokay with the scattered bags the lopsided freight figures who tried to frighten him but could not
                                               they formedup statically pictures cells snapshots  his lifefor some reason composed to effect them


dutch elms on either side of the street that grew together above it forming cathedral ceilings

smell of leaves burning in street gutters which incentivised him as a boy to rake lawns clean  the smell of fresh cut grass  the smell of fresh snowfall

his boyhood home painted gray
                                 heavy screens to hang for the summer heavy storm windows to hang for the winter
the girl next door

the other girls

rabid nights in Miami

quiet nights in Montana

ranch work hunting fishing
                              he could pickout individual days from among them crystalclear  magnified clarity  but when relating what he remembered to people who he shared moments with they had no recollection
sometimes he doubt himself
his mother would set him straight
                                    I don’t know why, but you remember things since before you were two . . always have been some concern to your father and I . but you remember correctly; you should not doubt yourself.
Perhaps your long memory is a gift, my son; or a curse.
 
      gift        curse
             gift

when he dreamed he didnt distinguish between a dream or a nightmare
                                                                                apparently he was a hoarder

1018,  Reggae Friday,  1  10. 21
1122,  Saturday,  2  10. 21

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