28.3.21

 

Because you scared the shit out of me 
                                        when you blubber through tears and sobsclutch at your heart because it feels like it is going to explode  because you scared the shit out of me legitimises the scene youve created you neednt apologise the fearthe discombobulation your frenzy is excused because if your witnesswitnesses have humanity compassion have empathy they will give you room because they fear that time when their card is turned and it will be turned and the irretrievablenessthe abyssthe blackness thats enveloped you will be theirs


Because you scared the shit out of me 
                                       he was breathless  he woke crying  
he awakened crying before 


he was grateful he didnt share his bed with anyone 
                                                     because sharing it they were intimate and they would naturally want to try and comfort him  but there was no comfortno wordsno embrace that could

a fools errand to console him 

nor did he want to be consoled  he wanted the timethis time as before as will be he wanted these discrete times involute inviolate to suffer to learn to manage to accept what is unacceptable

 

Because you scared the shit out of me 
                                         he cried it now out loud  he cried it often because he could never tell hershe would never hear him

Death cauterises one from the other

she felt otherwise

he did not

 

he suffered her death as an amputation 
                                          the irretrievableness is as real as feelingsuffering pain in his ghost limb

0744,  Thursday,  25  3. 21
1414,  Reggae Friday,  26  3. 21

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