sigh

                       some brainiac hung the Sloan urinal low on the palegreen tiled wall  it was like pissing on your shoes

        it flushed even before he used itas he stepped towards it while arranging the clothbag slung over his shoulder weighted by library books squaring it on his back so it didnt swing in front of him as he unbuttoned his fly and did his business all these automatic devisesgimmicks Christ! he said as he stepped away quickly avoiding the exuberant water that sloshed on the floor at his feet

when it finished gargling he stepped forwardbestriding the wet tile and drool that lengthened making its way to the drain at the center of the floor behind him

he finished stepped back bowlegged avoiding the spent water then all put back together and out of danger of the flush he leaned forward and depressed the button on top the urinal to flush it 

it sloshed onto the floor again  JesusChrist

                                              stepping oversidestepping to the sinks at his left good thing he did a bit of square dancing in gym in grade schoollike learning to ride a bicycle you never forget he saw these sinks didnt have handles at the mercy of more automation he placedcupped his hands in the bowl under the spigot and began moving them slowly up and down to find the ridiculous sweetspot which would finally trigger the water  it did  briefly haltingly  like a man suffering an enlarged prostate  then it flowed againhalted flowed OH  now it ran sufficiently so he could go to the automatic soap dispenser for a foamy dollop a stingy dollop an ejaculate dollop of a man fortified with Viagra  he lathered his hands and played again with the sweetspot like a womans roving Gspot to rinse his hands FUCK  then continuing left pivoting on his heels ninety degrees he confronted the Xlerator an automatic hand dryer and playingstroking for its sweetspot Gspot again not titillated bored  he glanced into the trash and saw crumpled paper hand towels and looking furthur left over his shoulder he saw a dispenser box of Kimberly-Clark WypAlls paper towels sitting on an opened GAMCO Baby Changing Station  pale ivory plastic  emblazoned and warning Always Attend Baby in English and six other languages because what it was was not obvious  so fondlingtrying to dry his hands under the dysfunctional Xlerator he desistedstepping left again to snatch a couple WypAll sheaves

its no wonder why so many men didnt wash their hands after taking a piss these days  and also there shouldnt be any wonder or chagrin levelleddirected against him when he meeting someone he didnt shake their hand womens hands he didhe felt he could trust them to wash their hands while quietly declaring Youll excuse me but current male bathroom habits suggest I might as well be shaking your cock  an Ive no intention of doing that either 

                          finally

                               exiting the grocery bathroom he approached their Courtesy Desk and suggested to the female attendant that the Mens Room needed significant helpneeded the bugs worked out of it and reiterated in stingy details the hazards and inconveniences he had just encountered taking a piss Would you like my name as verification of my complaint

she was disinclined to take his name

So he concluded should I need to utilise your facilities again and find them wanting Ill not be taking it up with the Desk again  Ill immediately notify County Health Its the employees bathroom too

at least all the fixtures were Made in America

1505,  Monday,  28  1. 19

1515,  Saturday,  9  2. 19

Zappa  Montana  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smZA9Jv3qH0

Dinah-Moe Humm  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4hzVpYAP-U