1.3.24


Now if I was smart he thought he chuckledstopped  chuckled again  it grew into sardonic laughter from deep in his chest

          finally shook his headshook it off
                                                    Now if I was
If I were smart Id be elsewhere
                                 “In that day you shall begin to possess the solitude you have long desired. Do not ask me when it will be or where or how. On a mountain or in a prison, in a desert or in a concentration camp. It does not matter. So do not ask me because I am not going to tell you. You will not know until you are in it.”
                                                                                   Thomas Merton  The Seven Storey Mountain

If he was

              he was a sucker for her
he denied her big brown eyes had any effect on him
                                                            they did not
rather he refused to admit to her they did
                                             out the gatefirst dating her told her to put em away

she liked his virile adamancy



I want to move to California to be near my family.

Those assholes he should have been able to resist himself SHOULD  an inactive null and void word in his lexicon

sharply Listen, those beautiful brown eyes becoming spitting mud boils  we’ve been living near your fam . .
. . Near Excuse me
                     Knowing you youll want to park our asses smackdab in their midst
They’re my family . . our family.

They are assholes
                    Should that should again he stopped himself bluntedsevered what couldnt be unsaid  A seven hour car ride one way is not near  Nearer
Screw you. I want to be nearer my family.

   Not a good idea
                     In your heart of hearts you know  its not a good idea
Well.
        The heart wants what the heart wants.

It does

   Is that a yes?

   As close as possible tha I can form
                                                 Its a bad idea



it took her family twelve years four months to kill her the last six a terror on their immediate family

she became her familys proxy

   she killed herself

1018,  Thursday – Leap Day,  29  2. 24
0953,  Reggaefriday,  1  3. 24

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