he met her parents the next dayDay10 of their torrid where-have-you-been-all-my-life relationship

it went well he charmed the pants off her mother

                                                    her father wasnt pleasedthough he didnt try to charm his pants off  rather he made him witness his wife and daughter gobsmackedpantieless in his presence 

You’re such a charmer.  Mrs. Farmer said 

Thank you 

            he smilednodded  Thas wha my Maw says of me though shes mighty charming herself 

he thought things went well

the next day after lunch the Farmers took their daughter Laila north to Petaluma to visit her aunt and uncleher fathers brother

they kissed goodbye behind the car as her parents waited inside

                                                                     I’m think I’m going through withdrawals I wanna fuck you in the worse way.

OhJesus ya kill me  Yare back in three daysright  Ill blow yaup then

Ohyes please . . cold turkey this is cruel . I’m gonna masturbate thinking of you at night.

he chuckled 

             Baby yasay the sweetest things  he grabbed her asskissed her firmly  Now get in the car before ya get me going

she laugheda cute little bark stroked him through his jeans kissed him once more then ran around opened the car door sat in the backseat behind her father 

                                   no sooner than closing it they pulled awaythe three waving outside their windows  standing in the street he waved after them he waved until they went around the corner  he caught one last glimpse of her as the car went left  she blew him a huge enthusiastic kiss

that was the second daysecond morning awakened early by robobozo buzzes  they were calling before they should have but he couldnt finger themprove it was them  the calls hungup as his message began  crazy old girlfriend she madeup the message  he liked it so much he left it  Hiya! leave a message she gasped  Can’t come to the phone I’m getting laid.

his mother was humourless 

                              Would you please change that awful message, Joseph formal still  since childhood it offends me.

The message offends you or the fact I was getting laid . .

. . Pleease . stop!  I won’t dignify that with an answer.

Cuz I was getting laid you knew Barbi an she made it  Thawas a long time ago Maw but I like it an you cant figure out how to erase it  Thas blisscubed baby blisscubed

In my house . .

. . In your house your rules but this is my houseOh my telephone my message machine

You’re terrible.

  I am Apple donfall far from the tree huh that always frosted her fanny

 

The Weekend 

                he was looking forward to sleeping in  he had her late nighthis early morning 

                                                                                                  Laila called she was fantasisingmasturbating had to share  he dug where she took themfired off a couple of rocketset fireworks  girl had an raucousraunchy imagination  she triggered some awesome dreams  scratch scratch scratchscratch scratch 

                                                                                                                         asleep Wha the hell  scratchscratch scratch  scratch  scratch 

                                                       catbox 

scratch scratchscratch

                         bomber 

   he wokeopened his eyes dark bellowed Yadiggin to China 

                                                                     under the hall nightlight he saw bomber hurtle out of the laundry Excavating for the Peeking Man he called after him he knew Peeking was spelled Peking  it was a hominin lineage he knew existed evenif nobody else did  when he espoused it got him no taker 

                                                                                                      Peeking Man  OhGawd! Man coexisted Peeking ofcourse a voyeur hiding in the bushes peeking bush an Ts an As  OhGawd! the first hominin whotugging his cock after urinating discovered when wrung dry if he kept tugging it was pleasurable  anif he tugged long enough he ejaculatedOhGawd!  he mastered masturbation he felt OhGawd! Man sounded better than Masturbating Man  was more subtle  he called the era Voyeurscene or HoleOcene 

                                                                        but he digressed

 

bomber is an orange tabby

had he been female he was tempted to name him marmalade 

                                                                liked it on his English muffin 

trigger word English muffin  Tabitha  from Essex  or as she said Excess anshe was

she helped him ruin a vintage chrome Formica table  a stout table too

                                                                          usually after rutting when he tried to say her name he said Tauh-bauh-thauh pulled a muscle or two in his tongue when they flipped positions in her wantoncraze on the table shed grind her clit pubic bone on his face fortunately he had a good head of hair often she bruised a cheekmore often fattened his lower lip 

                       which proved advantageousproved an assess he hadnt imagined until hed been with Tauh-bauh-thauh of Excess  rubbering her clit and anus with it 

they destroyed that kitchen table 

                                      marmalade  English muffin  but he disgressed 

The Weekend didnt get off the way he imagined

bout 7AM,  ReggaeFriday,  28  10. 22

1154,  ReggaeFriday