deeep sighs  deepdeep sighs

                                     if he didnt quit sighing hed hyperventilate

she took his hand and squeezed it

                                     You must quit pantingyou’ll make yourself faint.

     Im sighing

Sounds like panting.

maybe he couldnt tell the difference he thought he was sighing

                                                                  didnt panting come with panic  he wasnt panicky 

whats done is done

he couldnt change anything

couldnt bring anyone back

deeep sighs

             breaths deeep enough to aid resuscitation

somewhere inside himself it was thinking  he needed it to stop   Please  Please he begged

it still thought it couldwas possible

Stop  Please

              he was on the verge of tears Please I beg you stop   Pleasestop

it wouldnt look up at him it kept its head down

                                                  its proud shoulders quaked  broke  shivered like a brokendetached butterfly wing  it movedcurlicued on young green grass by a melancholy breeze

Are you okay?

Okay  Compared to wha

                           Im in need of something anchoredweighed  In need of a tether

I’m sorry.

No You neednt be sorry I ought to be grateful

                                                 Denied Im greedy   My memory is like an impossibly long train that still has cars that havent departed the station the chain is elastic it stretches streetches  then leaves before its tensilestrength is snapped

How is that possible?

I don know Its exquisite

                            Exquisitely painful   I remember things I should have forgotten Im like a feral dog  wolf  on a scent   A shark Thinned blood in paleblue water

                                                       So I sigh though usually not this deeep But the older I am the many fibers are more assured an during this time of year come into confluence

                                                                                   Im aware Id be a fool to attempt to deny the reality  But even if I could let go Drop the reins   I would not

Then there’s nothing I can do to help.

he smiled

her eyes were big  they shone compassionately

No  Nothing

               I appreciate ya seem to get it

1613,  Sunday,  20  3. 22

1758,  Sunday