30.6.21

 

This isnt stupid

Ohno, it’s stupid, and trying to defend it is even more stupid.

You took my words out of context which reminds me aligns you with your Republican siblings  Goin to the dark side                        

that cut him to the quick 
                         he saw anger flash on his cheekshis eyes go paleblue to hot piercing electricblue 

good 
      got him in the chops at a primal level he knew that hurt that it angeredenraged him he worked him into a corner right where he wanted him
                             Yalistenin now  listenin  Listenin to the context of what I said annot cherry pickin
he continued to radiate
                         although he was smart to hold his tongue

radiant knew him not to have much of a fuse

nearly combustible at a touch 
                                Son his parents told him you have to learn to control yourself, if you don’t, you’re heading down a long, ugly road.

Wont be ugly if I come out on top 


ah nothings perfect 
                      he came out uglycould have been uglier suffered far fewer loses than he thought he might                           
scars are evidence of character 
                                 he had character in abundance 
Ya ready to hear me out

radiantboy continued glowing

he tossed a wet blanket on him to take him down a notch or two
                                                                   Im gonna repeat wha I told you why I didnt turn the fan on it had nothing to do with stupid or your want that I should suffer one of your senior moments be forgetful lose my place my train of thought an the only reason Im gonna exhaust my patience explaining again  is so I don punch ya in the mouth an ruin our friendship  It just a shot away Stones 

his expression didnt change 


Can you hear me
                   Can you hear me through the blood in your ears 

I . . I . can hear you.

Areya listenin to me to my words

I  can  hear  you.

Not good enough 
                  Lemme know when ya come down enough to listen Yaknow better than push an issue with me

radiants anger hung around 
                              he didnt like debating his family they were religious they were red Republicans they were mighty white and fortunately entitled they were older and sure they knew everything better than he 
                                                                                                          dropped him like a white sugarcube into their hot tea or whatever brew they imbibed  they truly offended him

he was familiar with like offensesthe tyranny of family 
                                                          but he meant to offend him
bring him back to earth

 

the colour seemed to be leaching

Can you hear me

he didnt say he nodded his head

Awright I apologise I offended you
                                     It was my shorthand to bring you around to hearing me out and remind youas you knew because I said prior why I didnt turn the fan on when I went to bed to help alleviate the heat
You remember

I was teasing you.

Stop You were no more teasing me than I teased you But ya didnt like it  No ya didnt

No. That was apparent.

Goes without saying 
                     I told you earlier that night I had been writingworking a piece hardbeen shuffling parts around editing finding the right words so it would strike home when it was read  an because it wasnt coming together I thought I might be tired  I turned off the computer and went to bed thinking maybe Id sleep on it Laying in bed it was hot I seemed slightly aware of it Ill give you that however I was more aware of the piece and unable to turn it off

Working it with my eyes closedseeing the script rereading it parsing it I saw something I hadnt before

So I got up out of bed an went back to the computer Id been down about an hour     

I went back to bed two hours later

I stitched it up achieved what alluded me An with that off my shouldersout of my head I realised the house was hot 

Returning to bed I turned on the fan over my bed  

It wasnt that I forgot it was there or I wasas you insisted stupid  rather I was preoccupied and focused an in that space its hard for anything external to penetrate me or I can relate to

Thats a fate Im doomed to have having been raised in a house of twelve Ya learn to turn things off in your head

Its a matter of selfsurvival

Not stupid


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