the heroin made her think she was going to die

he looked her hard in the eyes

                                Talking from experience baby Youre seeing weird shit Remember its the heroin Its not thereYoure here with me Im with you  Youre safe   Youre in a safe place

Im not going anywhere I wouldnt be anywhere else in the world

she panted high in her chest

she sputtered she could handle it

he held her hand

he had his doubts

she paid a steep price for the pop

she poked a virgin vein

her eyes darted wildly about the room

                                       Comon stay with me Pleasant thoughts baby keep your head  Quiet   Calm Nothing but calm cool thoughts kiddo  See  and  feel  good things

he was a nice guy  

                  had always been a nice guy to her a friend   he wouldnt do anything to cross their friendship

shed been saying she wanted to try it

he put her off

she let herself be put off

he thought he talked some sense into her head

                                                but she wanted to try it 

she found itgot raked over the coals

he could have got her a better pricesent her in the right direction  her decision

he wasnt going to turn her on

hed help with the paraphernalia the cook

but he wasnt going to turn her on

the ways her eyes went around the room spooked him

he looked over his shoulder more than once expecting something to be therehave materialised

but she was quiet contained   though frightened

if he was a betting man hedve bet on this

a bad trip tends to disincentivise

he tried he tried hard  subtly

he understood her

she learned by doing

he was happy that she came to him to get high 

                                                 very happy

hed be her safe haven until she got back

                                           unfortunately scratching at the back of his skull like a feral cat at a wood post was another woman he knew who he tried to dissuade who ODed who stayed away from him because he did I can’t trust you. You can trust me You don’t want me to do it. I dont want you to do it I . think it will trouble you I wanna do it. You can’t stop me. No . I cant

No . I cant

No . I cant

            that hurt years ago still goes deep 

the bruise wont lessen if ever until he leaves the city

2130,  Sunday,  23  2. 20

1216,  Saturday,  29  8. 20