26.3.20



she stood in the sun and felt it caressing her face  War  Spill the Wine
                                                                            thats what worked its way through his mind  as he watched his daughter in her backyard she had kicked off her shoes and was standing barefooted on the dirt between patches of grass and weeds and rounded pebbles the dog had scattered from out under a decorative hedge that grew before the swimming pool

What are you doing

Dad. Dadu – her latest pronouncement of him – I’m grounding myself.

Whats grounding

she looked at him as if he was an idiot

I can do that

he kicked off his shoes pulled off his socks and walked into the yard and stood beside her

No rules against holding your hand is there

she smiled at himwinked

That’s not breaking any rules.

he took her hand

he liked that no matter where they were she would let him take her hand or she would take his despite her being a young attractive woman who had two daughters of her own

he didnt flinch from following her lead 

he always would have a lot to learn


she stood with him and languished 

she closed her eyes

her breathing changed

his didnt

he watched her intently

he didnt think she was daydreaming 

as he tended to do 

she was probably meditating

hed ask when she opened her eyes again

he closed his eyes brieflynot wanting to miss watching her tilted his head back his vision filled with the red colouring of the sun pouring through his eyelids 

he liked doing that since he was a kid

he brought his head forward and opened his eyes again

she hadnt budged


she was definitely seeing something other

or maybe wasnt seeing nothing at all




meditating


he wasnt into meditation


he liked that she did
                      it suited her the person she was

he liked to think she was immersing

he liked immersion
                     rather than meditation

he could probably get behind immersing if his brain wasnt always spinning a thousand miles an hour

she gave him a blue lace agate

Whats this for

To calm you.

You think I need calming

she didnt say



she had a spiritual depth that he did not

it seeped between her molecules

like sirup

not syrup

sirup

years prior he had written sirup in a letter to her describing her

cautiously she mentioned he misspelled syrupthey hated misspelling words

he replied he hadnt 

Look it up

of course she did

Oh my, you were right.

I have my occasions love

that made her laugh

he almost had to take the telephone away from his ear she laughed so loudly

when she finished laughing she said You make me laugh.

he didnt have to agree



her spiritual depth

like sirup between her molecules

made her seem to vibrate as a flame quivered

a flame off a beeswax candle

naturally

often he had a hard time believing he had any part in her genetic makeup

she looked like her mother when she was younger through her teens and twenties

in her thirties people remarked she looked like him

he thought she looked like him too

she said she did too


he had his occasions




the sun felt good

it was warm

looking at her he thought he sawknew he saw brightblue whiffs of oxygenated air queer-tined tides wash through her
making her at once part of the natural world 

like a shining transparent soap bubble

yet gently
           separate


he wasnt envious

he lacked her capacityhe lacked the desire to seek what she attained

he preferred being crude
                       sensual flotsam tumbling in Lifes water  in its turbulent brusque embrace


he wrote her that too


she wrote in return You do have your occasions.





he lost time  how long they stood in the backyard   holding hands


1048,  Thursday,  19  9. 19
1604,  Thursday,  26  3. 20

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