he was pretty tore upcoming apart at the seams  threads unraveling  skin thinning   he wasnt tolerating things as well as he used toas well as perhaps he should  not that he ever tolerated anything well

it wasnt skin  he readily invested skin in various games  

                                                         rather it was the lines the barriersethics not wall  his morals

morals

there wasnt anything that could entice or seduce him

no price tag  

                 he couldnt be other than who he was

the thinning skin he inhabited was something else he knew exactly from where it came

his sister diedshe died of ovarian cancer

she battled it for six years 

                            if her doctors had known a few months earlier what they learned had she undergone a complete hysterectomy after her breast cancershe was done having babies  having a uterus and ovaries doesnt make a woman a woman MAYBE she wouldnt have suffered the bouts of ovarian cancer she did

MAYBE  IF

                 IF   MAYBE  

                                      the words had caught in her throatcaught in his craw

shed never have a craw

she was too beautiful

he wasnt 

         however curiously  people always remarked when they meet them together that she was the spitting-image of him if she were a man  and hed be the spitting-image of her if he were a woman

usually they nixed agreeing refused the flattery

he usually step into the fray first and said Thank you although he couldnt agree  because if he agreed hed be distracted by playing with his enormous tits hed have become a porn star

                                                                   and she covered his ass admitting  admitting  if she was drunk she be prone to distraction by playing with her cock Not enormous  Stop

they were yin and yang to the other or yang and yin or yanking cock or tweaking and sucking nipples

when he gave his mother and sisters and sisters-in-law vibrators one Christmas she was the only one who said Thank you  and left it at that

simple Thank you very much

she shamed Elvis

his sister died ten months ago  to his mind theyve missed forty telephone callseighty to onehundredtwenty hours of talking sharing laughing  they were robbed 

                                              every second of that missing time thinned his skin

Aw baby he whimpered you need to help mehelp me from going down this rabbit hole Im struggling  struggling terribly 

You know me  

I rarely struggle

SHADDUP AND MOURN   Eventually     Eventually

or maybe it was the whiskey talking

1424,  Thursday,  30  5. 19

1053,  Saturday,  1  6. 19