he poured the last of the black coffee into his mug  refilled his shotglass with another three fingers of whisky  

                                                                                                                  an he still had the whole day ahead of him a day of examining the feral thoughts that blindly innocently crept into the light of day outside his skull  delicate creeping slugs and snails suddenly exposed to daylighttheir covers blown who likes to have their cover blown  he   hed prefer a blow job

but back to the lacquer of black coffee alacrity of 90 proof spirit

if he had to assess his own spirit 

                                  well mebbe that number would be prejudiced  suffice it to say he was hi-octane

he was flammable

he was intense

he   adored   confrontation

                               his parentswhile he was a teen in one of several Emergency Rooms warned him to quit stepping into the fray  You had to know you were gonna get hurt

Yeah  So  

           he worked odd jobs and gave them the money  it was the least he could do while they cared for him

he wanted them to know he understood their concern that he appreciated their -- for lack of a better word -- investment

Investment? his father asked bugeyed  Just exactly what am I investing in?

Paw Youre holding the fort down until I can get out of it An I promise Ill be out as soon as I can I swear

took him until he was twentyhe wasnt too happy about that

then he was Home Free 

                         completely his own person

and it was ugly his parents said

he didnt see it that way

he just went along as hed always gone along  

why they didnt see that was beyond him

he played bigger than he was

fight or flight

not an option

fight

every hill a hill to die on

or get the snot knocked out of him

snot knocked 

              and sometimes not

prize fighter didnt win all their fights

the idea was to win more than you lost

he couldnt stand the pricks who saw a lost in the offing and had buddies step in 

he remembered them

he made a point of catching them alone 

he may have hit them a couple more times than were necessary 

                                                                   Awfuck Paybacks a bitch man

so he made a reputation for himself

it was nice when it finally preceded him

street cred

the street was a good place to make your name

the street was never kind

it ate its own

So what is it you do? his father asked

Im just who I am Paw  Just who I am

people tatted themselves now  they "belonged"

he wore scars

1440,  Saturday,  1  6. 19