the springboard a devise
she was a bit of a spastic going off of one she could never quite manage to place the
damn rollerbar to her utmost benefit but when contemplating her experiences she understood that anything a human being
did was flawed whatever we get our hands on its results are imperfect
therefore she was content she was happy
that her efforts were good
she had read Olivia Laings The Lonely
City her distillation of Virginia Woolfs diary Woolfs idea that loneliness might take one
towards an otherwise unreachable experience of reality
she was unsure how she felt about
Woolfs tenet
Woolf was lonely
was troubled contending with
it
which made her think made her
wondered if Woolf had a springboard if it had a rollerbar or was static
if true she
assumed it was static
she plied a quote by Anais Nin as
an anodyne to Woolfs lonely journey her poor destination at the end of her
otherwise unreachable experience of reality
It is a sign of great inner
insecurity to be hostile to the unfamiliar
she always seemed to have sought
to befriend the unfamiliar it might be
befriended if one was curious she possessed an abundant curiosity
and while she pursued her
curiosity singularly alone her aloneness was not loneliness
if she was backed into a corner
it was to force her adversaries to attack her head on she never turned around and put her face into
it
she hadnt devised a loneliness
for herself or despair
though perhaps she hadnt stepped into any traps or suffered the pitfalls
loneliness concocts because she was too playful her pleasures too
simple also that she mindful her circumstances her health were difference from others and if she in fact went
tit for tat with their troubles she might also be induced
but she wasnt
and wouldnt
and for that she was grateful
1647, Thursday,
12 7. 18
0936, Twosday,
21 8. 18
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