31.10.17





Halloween had brought him fits of joy since he was a boy


sadlyhowever  he mimicked them now
                               and not one to be taken downrarely reduced to rubble usually able to keep his chin up

       it seemed some thing had taken his number
like a cat at a gopher coolly exercising its natural torment  leaving all that space for the gopher to escape into  all that hope  all that    futility


one difference between a gopher and a human being is that a gopher hasnt a choiceits hardwired to survive 

human beings long ago slipped their noosetheir big brains authoring their consciousness and since  selfconsciousness has stomped with heavy hobnailed boots their survival instincts  human beensbins? laissez-fairefairly-lazy are maladjusted animals  to the extent where any lifetheir life is meaningless  Christ-Believers have doubts of the Hereafter WHERE? they resort to making titheawcomon a hundredthe to cover their soular asses 

he owned two 60s VW buses  one named Furthur in honor of Ken Kesey You’re either on the bus or you’re off the bus  the second Hereafter patiently waiting on cinderblocks

in light of his assighned Uselessness he always tried to keep a sense of humour about him  albeit a blackpearled humour


this some thing laid cloaks on his shouldersone over the other sublimating him weighing down his unadulterated joy

fondly he recalled the city Halloween parades(he won three 1st places three consecutive years) beggars nightthe night before Halloweendressed in costume begging candy door to door  for Trick or Treat he had tricks prepared so no one could ace him out of candy Halloween was cutthroat then  ahthe crisp apples carameled apples in waxpaper Saranwrapped freshbaked cookies and slices of cake seasoned pumpkin seeds flickering Jack-o-lantern faces the ruffling-to-silence sound of the brownpaper grocerybag he carried
                                                   he met his wife on Halloween working his first shift as a busboy at Bodega a Miami restaurant off US 1 south of the Checkmate Lounge a live jazz club he frequentedMonty Alexanders trio  he dressed as a wounded soldierhead wrappedone eye hidden by a bloodied rag  she was the best-looking pussy he ever saw in his life  he remembered the costumes she handmade for their daughters how they walked their Minneapolis neighborhood enjoying the madeup children their parent also in costumeenjoying the inspired decorations often wholly elaborate  the carved pumpkins smashed pumpkins hairy wiggling spiders propped up coffins jiggling skeletons bony hands reaching up out of front lawns black catsbacks arched swaying ghosts shrieks and cries BOOoooos cackling witches lumbering Frankensteins fairies and pink princesses lions and tiger and bearsohmy hobos zombies vampires headless horsemen wolves Little Red Riding Hoods teethy rats quivering bats paper sacks filled to bursting  

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his wife died

his niece who celebrated with her boyfriend their anniversary on Halloween  her boyfriend spited her destroyed their relationship

his father-in-law died on Halloween night

his daughter a Halloween zealot who enthusiastically took up the torch his wife held  her relationship too went bellyup  her boyfriend cheated on her and blamed her for his infidelity  that knocked the wind out of her sails she couldnt bring herself to devise one her signatureelaborate costumes  instead she went to Colorado to be with true friends


it wasnt inflicting a death of a thousand cuts on him 


seemed it trussed him and dragged him with ropes to wade in a Chinese water torture



he needed to get his head turned around

ahgreat costume
             a man cautiously walking forward watching his back


1215,  Sunday,  29  10. 17
1216,  Halloween,  31  10. 17
Face to Face  Keep Your Chin Up  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEFu5SXvnt4

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