the walnut tree was cut down

from his back porch the view to where it stood   the unfurled canvas he looked on every day for four years was abruptly altered  a magnificent piece ripped away  the walnuts wide-spread up-lifted branches enfeebled by disease dropping finger after finger lichen-encrusted debris had persisted

trees dont take a bullet to the brain and die

their deaths have a distinct art

only when the demands of its sheer weight can no longer be throttled does it collapse

his bet was that the walnut wouldnt fall for years

it didnt have strong winds to suffer as it stood on the lee of a hill behind the house or would it have to endure brutal rains freezes or snow  this was California 

it would let go when its cellulose came unbound  and not before

his landlords thought different

they acted to protect their interest which they said were his too   
                                                 the tree threatened the house

A threatening tree  he asked  wondering if the walnut thought itself threatening was as absurd as he didhis thought-process informed by all the houses he lived in since a boy were razed

he wondered in kind if a tree would kill him or a house would fall on his head(there were worse ways to die)

he wasnt able to communicate to them the absurdity implied by their tree threat  The house the housethehouse was their mantra and fixation 

so they had it cut down

and like the family cats whose deaths he witnessed he too witnessed the walnuts dismemberment
it hewed limb from limb

it was all he could do 

he failed it 

he circled the tree ran his hands across its aged husky trunk and gently slapped it as the bucket the treecutter and chainsaw descended from overhead

it was his punishment

he loved trees  

he nurtured and replanted apricot seedlings from the yard to make amends  tending the ones he could and cajoled for the care of those he gave away

his daughter took three

she teased Youre becoming Johnny Apricotseed

when he visited it was good for his heart to see that they flourished

Whats Dad doing her husband asked

she laughed Hes visiting his children

and when he helped her put up jam he tasted what solace should taste like  sweet and delicious

their flesh anointing him

Johnny Apricotseed  

hed been called worse

he put out his cigar

he took another sip of beer

despite the canvas was rent the tree was gone    
                                     it still lived in his eyes

1343,  Sunday,  11  12. 16