he tried very hard not to think too much of himself
                                                         but she conflagrated him turning him
inside out 
(he thought it was a good look on him)

inside he carried a spark a smouldering ember clad in soft clinging ash
he thought everyone did

then  when shed enter the room where she had long been gone(every time she was gone felt loong to him) had removed herself taken herself away(away from him) for concerns of others who he felt didnt deserve her attention or time

but he was critical

she should never put herself on the backburner
especially not for who she was  and had

he couldnt convince her
nor was it his place to do so

it was enough she felt she had to

unfeeling as he was

as was his Nature

it served him well

she on the other hand was exquisitely sensitive

she felt things at baser levels than he would ever

he wouldnt parse himself into the raw slivers that she did

so he said his piece
because he had to

and she did as she felt
because she had to do

                                                                            

                                                   then time came when she reentered the room
and its colour changed in his eyes
the ash cracked  then crumbled 
his ember roused
fed by her attention
her pure oxygen

it erupted
         in her presence his erupture erapture was a drug
a drug that manhandled his longnecked alcohol  his sensual perfumed hashish and jetblack opium balls

it held him fast  deliberately

and  wisely  he rationed it

stored it to nurse  and have  when she would take her presence away again

it was Then  then that he thought too much of himself 
                                                          selfishly   slavishly
how couldnt he                                                                                                                                      

he missed her

then  his imagination stoked  without circumspect or boundaries he denied stopgaps reality tried to employ

within its binary realm he tilted with irreality  wrested it in its place and while it tenaciously kept a place at his hip
twinning him like an obscene mirror

into that hellacious mix that he dragged other mirrors  and tried to sidestep their roiling silverfacets and myriad compoundeyes

he failed                                                    

but his failure only enabled his multiples                                                                                                  

and his multiples
               like insects moulting exoskeletons
growing larger and more deft
growing wings they chased blued lightning odd mersmerising astronomic spreads and whiled under moons too numerable to count whose cuticles sparred and crossed

taking her leave

she left him to himself

left him too much of himself  

1319,  Sunday,  29  5. 16

22-20s  Im the One  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5o2lwlaCtd0