2 friends had died
they hung themselves with their
belts
they left widows
and both left behind more than
they could possibly have fathomed or imagined
despite the enormity of their
keen perceptions
and imaginations
in due time
curious the endurance “due time” enforces on survivors
in due time
when things are peaceful
when
humor and faith has returned
memories more satiated or sublime
hed visit
they knew him irreverent
and
hed ask who the belt manufacturers were
or
was
but until then
as close as his friends were to
him
he forsaked his own belts
gave them wide berth
and
wore suspenders
these guys were cards
humorous
thoughtful gentle
hed never start anything in a
bar and trust them to have his back
theyd have it -- of
course -- across the bar yelling “protect your head cover your face”
while dialing 911
Mixing It Up
thatd be their idea of a
cocktail party
as arcane as a cocktail party sounded
with it --
OH and their invites
delivered by mail
Thats
elegant
and they always included that particularly odd phrase at the bottom
“Please
Appropriate cocktail attire is required”
Whaddafuck
Cocktail attire
they frequented uncountable
bars
right
up alongside him
Cocktail attire
was
dressed not nude
he tried nude once
who which one
did he piss off
he didnt remember at the moment
he
ended up in their bed with one of the guests who found his nude “charming” and
“refreshing”
and who fucked like a minx
that said he wasnt aware of it at the time that his
host also had eyes for the minx
those insights were always lost
to him and late and had to be explained
-- You gotta tell me shit like that
A name at least
-- Do you know her name
-- No We
didnt get around to names
-- You didnt get around to names
-- No
Whaddahell She didnt know my
name
he was indignant
You
questioning my veracity
he had him stand there -- two of his fingers repeatedly stabbing him in
the chest -- while
he telephoned her to ask
-- . . . yes
the guy you had relations with at the party
he raised his voice over their
conversation
-- Relations No relations
We had sex We had sex in your
bed Jesus Christ And then
I stripped your bed took them out to
the car laundered them
And I returned them
And I returned them
Ah he remembered now which was who
his nude interlewd
he
loved making up new appropriate words
his
nude interlewd actually allow that whiner to be consoled by another guest
who
came cocktail attired
and who eventually became his
wife
curious how things are always
fluid
flowing like water
seeking the easiest path and stasis
if you let it
they were sweet guys
really sensitive guys
they tried harder for anyone
they befriended than theyd ever try for themselves
they didnt recognize within themselves the worth and value they out of hand
provided
to those they outreached to and helped
they were always at some rung
on their ladders well below everyone else they placed
above them
selfless
they both accused him of being selfish
-- Youre fuckin right Im selfish You ought to try it on for size
If I cant help me first how the hell can I help others
If I dont love me first you wanna instruct me how the hell Im gonna love
someone else
-- You dont understand
they were like a choral group
pitch-perfect
harmonizing
hitting
the refrain like a mantra
You dont understand
he did
he could just never make them
understand
he took their calls
late
at night
he
tried to console them
and he took what they left
no choice
he took
because they had every right to
their lives and deaths
he missed them
he just wanted to make damn-sure
he didnt own one of those fuckin belts
. . . eventually
2041, Friday,
15 8. 14
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