polysemy

         he caught his breathe

he knew the word 

                       the coexistence of many possible meanings to a word or phrase

but what it triggered and he couldnt shake out of his head was polyseamy 

Christ, get your mind out of the gutter.

Cant Was spawned in a gutter

You wer . .

. . I was  Yaknow this 

                         My mother was culled knocked aroundshoved down and gangraped on a brickpaved street patchworked with asphalt  at the mouth of an alleyway

Shes taken me thereits probably not occurred to her  anmore often than she might care to admit 

Yad think only a criminal might return to the scene of the crime 

Obviously she cant help herself 

She has regrets 

Im one of them

Her family warned her about going out on her own but she was headstrong  

Being headstrong is probably what saved my life She had to come to terms with her family forcing me on her If Gods Will was having a bastard Gods Will was better than her aborting me 

Gods will Wha horseshit  Gods will 

                                        I was Gods swill my mother had to quaff I was a bellyache that she couldnt take anything for and had to suffer If she had her way Id ve been aborted an burnedup in the incinerator out behind the house 

As a boy it was my job to take the garbage out and burn it When the ash cooled I scattered it in the cinder alley

After I learned about meoverhead it  adults talking  drunk  too loud   After I learned I couldnt help but think of it every time I burned garbage 

Whas funny funny   such a stupid mother but such a bright woman If only she could have shaken her family They were going to have me She became some kind of religious vessel Wasnt a Virgin Mary I was no Christ child Who can delude themselves with marvelous inanity and force it on someone they say they love

 

It was when I realised what surrounded me that I ran away

I wanted to take her with me but her infection was too deepseated 

Yaknow this

  

sometime in September, 2020

1054,  Sunday,  25  10. 20

The Mills Brothers  You Always Hurt the One You Love  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThZgBY3s4Xg