she died
Want
he wrote to no one in
particular
left it among his papers
I wanted and had and having
needed want no more.
make of it what they will
1130-ish-ness, Wednes?day,
7 5. 08
1127, 2sday,
30 7. 24
31.7.24
a sizable bird whipped over their
heads took a branch in a young redwood across from where they sat conversing and raucouslyjeered
them repeating a harsh nasalgrowl a shook shook shook shook cry
Wha the hells tha
That’s a Steller’s jay.
Got a big fuckin mouth
They’re bold, aggressive birds.
Got a big mouth
Yasay a jay
Yes.
Ive got jays at my place
You do, they're scrub jays. Intelligent, friendly.
Don cry like this yahoo
No they don’t.
What is it you call them?
Seriously
I asked didn't I?
Boids
They show up when you feed your outdoor cats.
Yah
Ill toss them kibble But before I do I talk to them I say Hey boid hey boid or boids if twosometimes
more appear
They
cock their heads asif listening to me Then I scatter kibble on the drive They drop
from the fence onto it anseriously getIve
counted one once took nine kibble into their beakhad to be stuffed in their gullet too then fly off
I enjoy the hell out of em
Jays Same family
Yes. Corvids.
I knew youd know ya birdwatcher
you
Thank you.
Thank you
But let me say this
What’s that?
I can define their difference in particular their calls
You wont forget
I have trouble remembering, you
know that.
I do
I promise you wont forget
Awright. This I gotta hear.
cleared his throat
Scrub jays are like
the modest guys who have to have a couple of drinks before they can go into a titty bar
A titty bar.
Youre listening
Can’t wait to hear where you go with
this.
Stellers jays are the same guys who went into the titty bar but now have sixseveneight drinks under their
belt
Oh My God.
Yah
Yeah definitely.
I won’t forget that.
Neither will I
Damn proud of the analogy
1531, 2sday,
30 7. 24
1917, day-between-2-Ts, 31 7.
24
it was an inane conversation
happily he lead the way
Shady Vance commenced it
his guffawedGo
fuck yourself INANE childless cat ladies
Ya gotta love what a prick he is Possibly second only to the prick at the top of
the ticket hard
to believe hes married
Why do Republicans
pound women think them the weaker sexwho
the fuck bears children love to see one man withstand a delivery
Anyet theyre the smarter sex
This election will confirm that
What about
men that want babies
What are you talking about?
Men who want children
They have children with their partners
who, hopefully, also want children.
Ill tellya Even people who introduce themselves sorely vetted via their biographies I like
long walks in the rain match.com zoosk.com love the zoo analogy okaycupid
eharmony bumble tinder a favourite of
mine christianmingle
an ofcourse your favourite grindr
They lie
Ansosay they havent partners Still want children
They can adopt.
Sure
However these guys don want to parent Ansay theyre committed pronatalists
Prowhat?
Pronatalists Demographics couchHA SHADY their argument in infertility decreasing sperm count
Which I believe is disingenuous
Howso?
Sperm banks are filled to
overflowing Paints quite a picture huh
Watch whereya step Hell I leave a condom
at ones doorstep every week
Label
it Anonymous
So, you leave DNA? They can find
you if they wish.
Prosecute you. If anyone deserves that you do.
ignored that For littering
If I left money outside
a bank marked Anonymous Wha then
Im littering
Jesus. So where you going with this?
Where did we start
Childless cat ladies. he
damn near began preening usually didnt remember
shit
Childless cat men
You’re not letting that go arya?
No way Jose I wouldnt have learned of pronatalists if I
had
Childless cat men Cant have
babies on their own Want babies
Know what theyre called
in common nomenclature
Ohbrother. Really playing this
up, aren't you? What?
Rapists
Republicans have given them a pass The prickticket Possibly pronatalists
he did say inane
1631, 2sday,
30 7. 24
1223, day-between-2-Ts, 31 7.
24
rapists
Stones She’s So Cold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBaRvt777Qw
gotta wonder what people wake up with
in their heads aint hypnopompic shite
consumed
even before they put their
feet on the floor by what they have to get done have accomplished will be complimented perhaps rewarded criticised punished and any a reason for getting up or staying put
calling-in
sick
skipping school
lying
cheating
stealing
he wondered
what he woke up with had nagged
him through the night
he had visuals strangers their
voices words
they
were unkind
thought to threaten him
wisely however
realised he was a lucid dreamer he could really fuck
them up turn their vapour to stone
annihilate them
dreamed entities live before theyre dreamed and can live after a dreamer wakes
not stupid
they werent going to run the risk
if he were an asshole
he might
only go to sleep to torture his dreams which is fucked up
though he was sure sociopaths psychopaths narcissists dream
his naggers kept at him is it an asylum in a slum or a slum asylum
slum asylum
pretty slick
tried slumasylum
would likely trip up
people trying to make heads or tails of it without context
slumasylum
might assume slurredspeech a breakdown between thought and it emerging
from ones mouth
a drug a disease
a foreign word
not English
THATS WHAT STAYED WITH HIM WHEN HE WOKE
couldnt say he wasnt intrigued
0530 – time to take a leak, 2sday, 30 7. 24
he sighed at night under the poor
fatcandle dusk just prior to sleep coming to steal his eyes
sighed
Yes.
sighed
Yes
sighed Tell me a story.
she wouldnt ask him of that any
morewouldnt let him tell her a story to
help her go to sleep
she said it helped
it had to be a different story
every time
queer that as punchdrunk she was
at night if he tried to tell a same story she would mumble I know that. A new one, please.
he was tired too
somehow
he did
he sighed at night in the queer
fatcandle dusk prior to sleep coming to steal his eyes
sigheddeeply
sighing without word
Please. Would you tell me a story?
finally 130AM, Friday to Saturday, 9 5.
08 to 10 5. 08
1150, 2sday,
30 7. 24
30.7.24
he asked himselfas he often did often grilling himself
What do I understand
What does anyone understand
We understand what we think we
understand
Crappy
little else
Understanding is a precious
defiant little commodity that looks neither left nor right
It is brilliant
Shadowless
Content
Friday, 2 5.
08
1043, 2sday, 30
7. 24
he hadnt tried a cut-up in a while
randomly opening a book
dropping his eye on a page copying words a phrase very rarely a sentence
see if the result makes sense
Donald Barthelme
his book Dead Father
worse was their blue
cable Julie carrying
himself
physical attentions
cops a feel whenever he can
one has the best façade
sewn-on tins cans
they do like to sic
I’m too young(!)
whelping is, after agonies
a skill
indicating helplessness
said the dead father
cut-ups challenge the imagination
he was particularly fond of I’m
too young(!) / whelping is, after agonies / a skill / indicating helplessness /
said the dead father
communing with the dead
or is he a ghost
or is he remembered
each speaks
lunch, Friday,
23 5. 08
0917, 2sday,
30 7. 24
The Balloon to better perhaps thoroughly enjoy Mr
Barthelme: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1966/04/16/the-balloon
29.7.24
Enough enough
Just take a pen no no No
Pen Not
pencil
Put it down
Thank you
Thas better
No
STOP Youre not lefthanded woudya stop
Nowplease Take a pen in hand
Aw whadahell hand in pen Why not
chuckledhe snarked
Hand penning hand penning
Handpenning
Comon youre not tha dull
Yareally
don wanna write
Youd rather shorthand text telephone
they bobbleheaded
sighed noddedsilently
cleared his throat
Do ya get it A happening
Saturday, 3 5.
08
1906, Monday,
29 7. 24
Ohbrother who knew
illiterations ill-iteration
piling on
Keepstay
in line no pushingHEY No shoving An no cuts
theyd already danced with Wilsons
slanguage
NEXT
The difference
Okay
Im listening
The differfence
Ooohnice
Thank
you
NEXT
Stimulated Overstimulated
Yes
Overstimutilated
Youch Over-stimulate-mutilated
NEXT
Anonymous
Awright
Animus male anima female A syzygy
Pardon me
A pair of connected or
corresponding things A syzygy of
dualistic Jungian archetypes among the array of other animistic parts within the
Self
Im withya
Anonanimus Anonanima
Snazzyhuh
Snazzy
he looked down the long line holding its own looking enthusiastic frankly looking hungry for more illiterations
he yelled
Hold tight now Ill be right back need to use the bathroom
a guy stomped forward
Backoff
Youre next Excuse me
fella retreated
wandering up the carpeted convention center foyer he waondered what was going to come out of that guys
mouth
who knewhad any idea how many illiterations
were waiting in the wings
made him smile
Tuesday – Tax Day, 15 4.
08
Friday,
2 5. 08
1757, Monday, 29 7.
24
alliteration
“the occurrence of the same
letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words.” Goggles
Oxford Languages
NOPE
time to get out the knives
catgut make a few new Frankensteins
illiteration
iteration
an ill utterance that insults
purists
a genealogist learned and
informed him he was 100% Polack
a kind of purist that no insult
affects
Lifes a comedy show Cant take a joke Shouldnt have come in
he affectionately agreed with The
Lincoln Projects Rick Wilson who – if he coined it very cool – slanguage
faces scrunch lookedlike once-bitten apples dried in the sun
or
more exact
no offence
savaged old biddies scowling testicleclutching
old men
SLANGUAGE.
took a breath before explaining hopeful
more than half didnt need it slang language
exhelled
he felt better Aaah
an Aaah among aaahs that precede
an orgasm an aaahgasm
cutting away stitching away Frankly
his words were illiterations
he didnt need dictionaries
to have his backNO
a little imagination goes a long long long way
greases skids gears cogs cocks cunts
whole kitancaboodle whole
shebang whole whahaveya
hed have
everything
not that he ever could
but would try before
dissolving solving solved solve salve
See
1713, Saturday,
27 7. 24
1309, Monday,
29 7. 24
opened a box tightly packed with
old science fiction paperback books a
treasure trove
Kuttner Biggles Simak Dick Pohl
Bradbury Cordwainer Smith Heinlein Silverberg Sturgeon del Rey Lieber Blish
Leinster Kornbluth Campbell
it smelled like oldcheese unwashed feet
it smelled great
GREAT
theres a spectrum
EVERYONEs on it
Limburger didnt gag him
a filled plastic diaper pail didnt
gag him
only onceimmediately
remedied pussy
after a strenuous hike they had intended to camp
overnight fell asleep before the fire were woke by rain
reason
not
an excuse
immediately remedied
as a boy workers broke the street
excavated a sewer line put up horses
to keep people away when they left
a boy is not people
got a flashlight
descended wandered the cavernous sewersystem for hours
when he got home late that
night came into the house in through the
enclosed backporch off the kitchen
Where have ya . . get outside get out of those clothes hose yourself
off. his mother she and his father were in the kitchen having
coffee and cake He smells like ass. his mother
he didnt notice
reason
not an excuse
by then his nose had been broken in fights
with older boys who beat him
eventually
he remedied those defeats
sense spectrums exist
sensespectrumsexist PRETTY
1051, Monday,
29 7. 24
had too much to drink last night
couldnt stop pouring
then in one burst of ambition he cut
him offtook his keys
he wasnt going
anywhere
NO
he was home alone
woke in the morning achy had
to chuckle
Achy
alchy Serves ya right bitch
ran a hot tubtossed in a handful of mineral
salts
getting inlying down cranked the heat with his foot until
he almost couldnt tolerate it
tolerate
squared
half the time he couldnt tolerate
himself
still
to this point he had had
to chuckle
wondered if thatd
grow old
reached back overhead cupboard
grabbed a washcloth submerged it in the steamy water sliddown closed his eyes
laid it over his face
wondered if molding in a wet grave would
feel like this
silent
dogs in the neighbourhood quit
baying
nice very nice
laid there
maybe he fell asleep
a soft fizzingpopping sound like really small frogs might croak afraid bigger frogs would find them eat them fiizzzzzzzpop fizzzzz
popfizz fiizzzzzzzz pop
pop
gently he slipped the washcloth from his facelooked at his feet
BUBBLES
bubblyBBUBBBBLES
saw
the last of his feet crumble dissolve
dissolve Alka-Seltzer had to chuckle
Alchy-seltzer
soft bubbles softereffervescence had
to chuckle
Speedily
he dissolved
0757, Monday,
29 7. 24
1051, Monday
28.7.24
sometimes dumb like a stick
he opens
his mouth thinking hes telling him something about politics he doesnt know
mans a dog that dont hunt
leave him at home with the womenfolk and children
he
can bark he can play fetch with them
stick texted :
: Walz. A possibly VP pick.
: : Yah
Vice President Harris requested
vetting material from six potential candidates Governors Roy Cooper Josh Shapiro Gretchen Whitmer Tim Walz JB Pritzker Senator Mark Kelly
Walz
possible ya not paying attention
Whoever Harris chooses whoever she
jives with
An eight year date Better damn well get along
: : It helps.
: : Not helps fuckin critical Critical
: : Like a marriage then.
: : No Only eight years
Marriage requires love
: : Which is longer than most marriages.
wheres
that coming from
stats
: : Were a small sample size as you like to say
: : Small but vocal and influential I like to
think.
whats he talkinbout
their marriagestheir wives
died were twentytwo thirtyfour years
respectively
: : I was referring to the years our marriages endured
nothing
nada
good fuckin thing
next thing hed have sharedtexted :
: Woudya put a sock in it
hadnt used that line in years but it was pawing begging like a ill-behaved dog turned outside for being bad
Go, go to your doghouse.
Go to
your doghouse.
1858, Sunday,
28 7. 24
2125, Sunday
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