he liked to wear things outrelished keeping them long after others would thrown them away tsk tsk people because he respected themrespected their diminishing form and abilities anwhile they were no longer young thats a sin no longer as colourful or crisp handsome or beautiful they steadfastlyarduously retained their primacy could still and would perform their purpose their commodity

commodity may sound odd

   value

            ahbetter

his blatant shabbiness put people off though many were chasing their dreams

he was living his

                   if someone said anythingOhshit hed saypat his chest awnuts left my No soliciting pin at homeI was in a hurry  ya know what they sayFranklin said Haste makes waste  and smileleer ludicrous

it was curious someone would think hed give two shits what they thought

until the garment whahavya failed he had their backs he tended to be kinder to inanimate things cuz they werent not really      

0853,  Sunday,  31  7. 22

1720,  Sunday

  inside closed eyes

its hard to tell what was going on

but if one keys on the undulating motionthe bulge of their corneas shifting chasing  quietfixated  staring at the backs of their eyelids

  one might guess

        

he always had ideas

                       although he spent his days writing

anas he did he saw in his minds eye what he wrote commensurately his dialogue uttered in his ears  playing the parts he considered their wording inflection tempo  pauses    

when he took afternoon breaks to walkread usually several miles before returning home again hed either then prepare his meal feed his cats or viceversa the while playing again what he was in the midst of writing

                                                                                                    during the workweek while his food cooked he watched politics onlinehe was an addict  that was his fathers influence  an after dinner he watched film  his mothers influence  recently he watched seven foreign films in a row  their different settingssensibilities teasedintrigued him  they were unlike American cinema  violence sex violent sex action sex shoot em up sex car chase sex  a tepid pool so shallow one would be advisedcautioned not to dive

                                                                                              if one leaptup and entered from threefeet they might break their fuckin neckSHALLOW  gullible   but what should one expect when given that the majority of adults cant read at a sixth grade level 

                                                       Imagine  they couldnt celebrate the 100th anniversary of James Joyces Ulysses it would be lost on them  they were lost like Hansel and Gretel noshing on frosted gingerbread shingles

he had ideas he could imagineassign to the movement inside closed eyes      

2153,  Twosday,  26  7. 22

1343,  Sunday,  31  7. 22

he couldnt stop them from jumping

when the little girl leaptshe was at the head the rest followed her like lemmings they jumped fearlessly from the riveted red ironworks

he was back from the edge screamingNO NO  No tears surging

he didnt come forward to look down he did not want to see the ruin bodies busted like water balloons unseemly parted

the real terror was still with himstill in his eyes them leaping  anhe pitifully helpless

when the last leaptWHY they sawhad to recognise the gore below he slowly backpedaled several steps before turning on the ghastly silence that minutes earlier had been filled with gay shouts laughter their echoes peeling away spideryzigzaging across the face of the canyon of buildings diminished by intersections they were unable to leap

he took the fire stairs down to the basementdown to his irrevocable labyrinth where he wanderedwhere he knew exactly where he was

there it occurred to him

                           the structure rising above him was his shaken labyrinth pulled up now dimensional  no longer a lone wandering plane

                          it demanded more of him it was bored with what he knewwas excited to teach him again

the happy affable children werent real

they were aspects of himself

had he gone to the edge and looked down there would have been nothing to see but the ribsthe skin of his erect labyrinth

           he was becoming  walking the clean ironworks bones fearlessly  unafraid  slowly becoming  he was putting away childish things

   

2115,  Sunday,  24  7. 22

1218,  Saturday, 30  7. 22

Dispatch  Time Served  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1EHGskxiUE

its hard to watch friends hurt themselves or deny the common sense they usually display

what messes with that

the heart

physical pain psychic   mind over matter

                                              ifya don mind it don matter

hed managed pain a better part of his life accidental selfinflicted sports it had become inconsequential the anaesthetic he consumedsummonsed came from within  not pills injections his mulish nature proved advantageous

the downsideYes ofcourse there is a downside holistically he turned things over and over like a child discovering the first ball he was given his mulish nature isolated him however his Tarzan swingin in on a vine to his rescue was also his innate introversion  he didnt mind being alone 

                                                     the affront of wellmeaning friends who believed they were welcome their thoughts that being alone meant being lonely didnt bother him evidently it was the suit of clothing they were comfortable in

                he didnt own a suit

he quit trying to explain

it fell on deaf ears

his selfimposed isolation was beneficial

                                           it provided him room to manageassuage his pain when it reared its ugly head

but that was him 

 

one can lead a horse to water but they cant make it drink

he was confident many thought that of him

he did appreciate their concern thanked them

                                                 so he did have a sense of disappointment when he saw friends hurt themselveswhen he watched them blow smoke up their own ass

                                                                    he wasnt that limber not even as a kid

I don’t know that.

She told you she said you were buddies

I don’t know that yet.

                         he was so practised could blow smoke rings out his ass too

1749,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

1040,  Saturday,  30  7. 22

he had seventeen pairs of old 501 buttonfly Levis

crotch had givenway on all of them

his concern about mendingpatching them was obvious all eyes would be drawn to the patch most of the right thighs had also thinned and split if they were the only failure the occasional knee he could get away with it 

maybe more modest than he thought

she laughed when he told her over the telephone

Its not funn . .

. . It’s hilarious! What are you doing in your pants?

Wearinem Anto a pair theyve all failed in the crotch structural defect planned obsolescence fuck if I know Its irritating

You sound irritated.   Hmmm . .

. . Save it

Hmmm . .

. . I said save it I know wha yare thinkin

A mindreader?

Yare mind give me a fuckin break

What am I thinking?

Im not

       Had I been I woudnt wear pants 

her suddenbreath came in a snort over the receiver then pure elationlaughter

Im funnyhuh

You wouldnt wear pants?

Fuck no an Id hold it to the cops face that was arresting me for indecency exposureOfficer please explain to our listening audience that this arrest has less to do with indecency than it does pure jealousy tap the end of my cock Testing testing  yes officer its functioning Please talk into the Mike

Please talk into the mikeshit . . you’re too much.

Didnt know I nicknamed my cock Mike huh

Would you stop? her laughter came in gusts  You’re killing me.

Seventeen pairs of unwearable jeans is killing me

Patch them, it’s unlike you to care what people think.

It is isnt

Yes.

You may have something there I was suffering a creeping modesty it lookin over its shoulder lookinround an round

Patch em.

             Then send me some pictures. she howled

You messin with me

she couldnt talk

Yare going to choke

she laughed harder

Get your mind out of the gutter

laughing she sputtered Chochooke

I need to gag you he could play her game

Awwhar gag she barked through her yukyuks 

he imagined spittle on her chin wasnt going there was a thousand miles away too far to resuscitate her

I can’t breathe . . freaking hilarious.

hed let her come back to earth wasnt going there either

1503,  Thursday,  3  2. 22

1335,  Saturday,  30  7. 22

he said homeschooling

he said Wha  Who

Their mother

She graduated high school your son graduated high school  Where in that are the credentials to teach at home I assume yare referring beyond necessity when Trump virus was a swinging cock through the countrynot that their state believes in medical sciencebelieved in polio  it went herd mentality

                                                             Is that the mentality you wanted imparted to your grandchildren young girls

It’s really not my job is it?

Lemme think  a distracted child steps into a crosswalk in front of a cartheyre right in front of you ya let them get hit not your job

A hypothetical.

Horseshit  See an accident forming you intercede

I open my mouth, say my piece, they let me spe . .

. . But they aint listenin  are they

   Probably not

So the girls need an open liberal educationaint Gawd gonna carry their water when theyre older  in their neck of the woods last thing we need coming out of theremebbe theyll stay put  are more unthinking white Christian Nationalists keep religion in church unfortunately itll taint the home but all else secular or they risk brain death  Fact of the matter ya don need a brain in Heaven It is wholly unnecessary 

1129,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

Zappa  Help, I’m a Rock  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BAOClxd8UJE

she was none too happy

he didnt care

she was so closeso close  yet so far

he enjoyed her anguish

                          Bet on the wrong horse

she thought she knew a thing or two about horses had owned them since a little girl

OWNED operative word

                          cant own people

some think otherwise

OBLIVIOUSLY

Life Insurance would have shelled out twofiftyK

she liked Ks

her name began with one

                           maybe if it ended with one he might have treated her unknowingly to the bonus shed been looking for her whole life

three marriages

                  later four  gotta keep casting 

  

she was pretty thats what he was told  perhaps a pretty parasite

he had eyeshe didnt need to be told

                                     her inside black shone through he didnt see how so many couldnt maybe they were too close to the paintingtoo lazy to step back squat or step aside to take in different perspectives

                                                                                                      or were terribly susceptible to gaslight

she was none too happy he survivedwas coming home from the hospital

her unhappinessglowering made him smile

he made plans to catch him when he felt well enough to see him

that also made him smile

2035,  Thursday,  28  7. 22

1158,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

How he missed tha Hall & Oates  Maneater  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRYFKcMa_Ek  

I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccenFp_3kq8

Charade

         he loved the game but he was a ham mebbe he ought to say he was an uninhibited ham inhibitions get in the way when ones actingtheyre not themselves let go  just let go 

                                                                 he mopped the floor with his competitors

Charade

         he loved the film ‘63 Audrey Hepburn gobsmacking beauty Cary Grant  not shabby himself 

she was 34

he 59

authentic chemistry between themhe could relate to them as a couple  dug that she was forwardpursued he understood why Grant wouldnt probably better than most

in one scene of many in kind Hepburn leans in on Grantkisses him leaning back slightlyher face in his she whispers

Don’t kiss back?  Doctor says that it’s bad for my thermostat.his thermostat crushed it delivery was cold fishpitch on he howled

out of his slim corridorbut even while he was out wilding Life stumbleslacks repartee scripts shouldnt be the only place where it exists

                he hoped it was improv Hepburn askedreferring to Grants cleft chin How do you shave in there? it was breathless anif one wasnt paying attentionpassing the popcorn theyd miss it he hung on dialogueappreciated repartee

recently conversations have been arid moistless deserts 

cant play Charade alone

2139,  Thursday,  28  7. 22

1104,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

I don dream I vignette

Noun

An I changed it into a verb I have that abilityright up there with lucid dreaming or shoud I say lucid vignettingjust follow my lead  Ive seen ya in my darkened theatre feet on the seatback munching popcorn sipping soda pop eating licorice whips

Theyre called shoestring licorice 

I hit ya with it itll feel like a whip 

                                        Thank you for not denying your attendance

I get in free

a sidekick denizen Mariachi bandit privileged to his wheelhouse Yare welcome  he wasnt bitter           

Awwhe should have thanked himalways late to the game  Thank you

 Thas awright

                    As I was sayin I vignette when I talk with people about dreaming mebbehaf or better say they think they do but they don remember

Don remember

No nothing  hardly anything  They say I think I didIm pretty sure I did.  Pretty sure. As they talk they squeeze their eyes shut like peering hoping for a glimmer  they ought to pursue it soonerlay in bed an think it over

But a majority of them wake to alarmscant be late to work

I still remembered

Dreams  er vignettesexcuse me  mean more to you

he vignetted one into the nextno commas abrupt hedbe in an intimate situation an suddenly on tall ironworks trying to stop children from committing suicidejump to their deaths   unsuccessfully

Thas not a good example both are intimateterribly intimate

Ohmy yare correctgood point  I shoudve prefaced the first sexually intimate backing naked off the foot of the bed onto an Ibeam clothed pleadin   It was a violent revolution one into the other

Yes I remember I closed my eyes during the second

I wished I coudve

You sat boltupright weeping

I did It crippled me

But when you went back to sleep you vignetted you were arguing with a woman who had low esteem . .

. . These remarkable women . .

. . An laid her many accomplishments at her feet

                                                    Ya said Don stepback stepforward into the fray because yare right  They think their privilege entitlement is owed respect They fell into it Yave fought your way to your position without Daddys or Mommies silver spoon stucked in your mouth

They is usually men

They is  

White men Older worse

They is

Impediments

  They is

            Yare better than a car chase man

Thank you

Yare welcome 

               Ah  finally did it right

Nomind

          Yare a work in progress as am I

1500,  Thursday,  28  7. 22

0951,  ReggaeFriday,  29  7. 22

Mommas & Pappas  Dream a Little Dream of Me  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajwnmkEqYpo

D’Angelo  Greatdaynamornin’/Booty  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETc1Dr2U8ZQ

he took trouble not to catch his step turn his head he acted like he didnt hear a thingkept walking

at the car waiting for his buddy to unlock the doors he said over the hood to him You hear that

                                                                                                    he had doubts  Wannabet   No bets we know   We do   Not necessarily something to bragbout   No no  not at all   Agreed   man was usually off somewhere in his head anif he didnt maintain eye contact with himdrive the conversation like Mad Max Imperator Furiosa hed float off or worse talkbout his glory days

he repeated himself inside the car

What?

he bit his tongue I asked if you heard that

Heard what?

At that table sixseven junior high guys

Junior high boys?

Are you blind look through the windshield  Yasee em

he looked I see them.

Did you hear them say anything

No, but I wouldn’t.

They were talking awfully loud

No I didn’t hear them heard what they said.

Something else man They must be getting an education though

An education? Why would you say that?

Because without history at school the otherwise dolts woudnt know what a luddite was let alone able to use it in conversation in a sentence

Luddite?  no lights went on

  Im a luddite Ive mentioned it before Im opposed to new technologyways of working historically a luddite was one of many English workers who destroyed machinery especially in cotton an woolen mills the machines threatened their jobs

Ah . yes yes . . you have mentioned that before.

Appreciate the confirmation though would have thoughtby now it had sunk into your brain

Comme ci comme ca.

Comere No Nevermind  Go away go away ya got the retention of a mite

Regarding some things. I’m not lettin’ you get my goat.

Yaknow given how oftenhow much I reiteraterepeat myself  regarding most things

                                                                                       But nevermind ya didnt hear

I did not

Suffice to say the quote I plucked walking past them

                                                       “. . . like being fucked in the ass by a big luddite.” 

 

1533,  Thursday,  3  2. 22

1245,  Thursday,  28  7. 22

Bruce Springsteen  Glory Days  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vQpW9XRiyM

I gotta get me one of those he was humouring himself

he closed the bookhis thumbs between the pages

itd be expensive

                 

the Romans had their shit together 

                                     “(They) cleaned their behinds with sea sponges attached to a stick, – ingenious – and the gutter supplied clean flowing water to dip the sponges in. This soft, gentle tool was called a tersorium, which literally meant ‘a wiping thing.’ The Romans liked to move their bowels in comfort.”

he thought the final sentence erred

                                     wiping ones behind and moving their bowels in comfort were two different things excreting and cleaning afterwards different beasts

the tersorium  a whole other matter

the timing was impeccablehe was finished

he returned the bookmarker to keep his place and set book down atop the others Shelly McCarthy Doctorow Perlstein Crumley stacked on a white ash stool to his left

Cottonelle UltraGentle CleaningRipples with aloe and vitamin E was his go-to he knew they developed flushable wipes but refrained

               Why  Theyre in line with tersoriums   a curious Mariachi bandit 

They are Ill grant you that

                            The difference two bucks  sixteen for six doublerolls onehunredseventy per  onethousandtwenty sheets versus fourteen for threehunredthirtysix sheets

Ah  being frugalcomfort be damned . .

. . Not really Tried an truetried an true  If it aint broke don fix it

Spanking me with idioms

I spose I am

Well doesnt affect me

No not really

Have you ever sampled them

A sample came with rolls I purchased once

An

My girlfriend used it

She like it

She did she did

She did

Yes she did

Im just sayin

Have to get the last word

 

  Yes   Please 

2152,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  7. 22

1034,  Thursday,  28  7. 22

he had twothree gurusno yogisno thank you mind over bodythough he maintained both to the best of his ability

Ari Melber  Twosday 26July 1702hrs

                                        “FOX . . . they will cover things that are not newsworthy, or even true, and even with that somewhat lower bar . . respectfully . as they say in the streets . respectfully . . they still did not cover Trump today.”

Pence got 17 minutes of coverage

Trump got ZERO   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXtHUP0LSpM 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RZ4nrumQSk

the wind was really rocking 

                              the hummingbird feeders swayedswangtorquedtwisted it was some kind of breeze working the gangway between his neighbours privacy fence and his house

there were better than a maddozen feeding made him think of Rodney King ‘92 Can’t we all just get along? off to a side at an uncontested feeder who knew why one little bugger was beginning to show green gills they penetratedpresented through his brilliant emerald feathers redthroat

haplessly he tossed a wing to the glass cylinder that held turbulent undyed sugar water  then the other and leaned heavily against ithe could relate he spent a year at sea

                                                           although he enjoyed the violent stormsrode the bow ran a rope through a shackle he bolted to the railing he was having too much fun to be troubled or nauseated by seasickness even the time when he slippedwas working his way back to the cabin where someone blew their guts  it hadnt washed away was still warm  the only bothersome thing was that the mess looked like shit-on-a-shinglelooked like the creamed chippedbeef breakfast Cookie made and was immensely proud of freakin tasty  it made him think of his father-in-law and wife who seriously devoured Stouffer’s

Poor lil guy

              he watched him push off the glass turn aroundwobble a bit clutch the perch with his toes blow his meal a slick silver thread that coiledbriefly in the dirt then was absorbedcovered by loose dirt brokenbits of drieddead leaves

Poor lil guy

             he gathered himself wiped his bill with a wing turned around began eating again like a game Roman returned from the vomitorium misconception or not to delicious to deny

 

1723, Twosday,  26  7. 22

1309, Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  7. 22

it wasnt his handwriting

not on the clipboard he kept beside his bed 

he lived alone

if it was one of the spooks who toured his place they hadnt scribbled beforeitd been nine years  this script was strong precise

he was making the bed when he recognised it at his foot

had he written during the night hed remember then waking in the morning have gone to it hed remember he had though not exactly what he wrote except that he woke and scribbled no light he surprised himself how good he wrote in the dark it was legible

he didnt stoop to pickup the clipboard and read it

some things ought to be savored 

                                  he intended to savor the hell out of this 

curiosity bitched it wanted to know NOW  an impetuous child leaning heavily towards a spoiled brat

he thought curiosity would have known better  he was a bitch when someonesomething wanted to bitch him a hardline bitch 

      Youll wait until Im good anready

You can be such a prick.

Yah sometimes I am

                       Now go off somewhere Youll be the first to know when I go to read it

curiosity shuffled off dejectedly

he took care of his kitkats inside and out

made more hummerfood he attracted nine which was puny compared to the three dozen once upon a timefive quarts of sugarwater a day

made freshground black coffee

sat down read the newspaper played with the crossword puzzle  it made the paper worth its subscription

he read furthur into four of seven books he was reading

took off his reading glasses

rubbed the bridge of his nose

Ohyah he said out loudstartling the cats as they lounged around the livingroom with him

he was their alphamale a good alpha-bet 

                                    Yah why didnt ya knuckleheads remind me rhetorical  though smilincrossin his fingers hed catch them unsuspecting and theyd actually respond to himsay something theyd make a million togethertake the act on Johnny Carson

he fetched the clipboard

poured himself another cup

sat on the couch

put his glasses on

sipped the coffee

swallowed

cleared his throat

barked Curious

felt its presence

read

   a death threat

he was disappointed

less is more

maybe whoeverwhatever was hoping to bore him to death

kill him in his sleep in his bed

                              why would he fear thathed bet everyone wished theyd die in their bed if they could afford a bed a room a roof

 

the house had been locked

he wasnt going to lose any sleep over it

he kept it dated it timed it whoeverwhatever didnt that bugged him a petpeeve moved it to the bottom of the onesided pages other side utilised gripped by the BEAR-OF-A-CLIP clipboard

                                                                 suddenlylaugheduproariously tickled to tears  it occurred to him laughing harder it was probably the only letter he ever received he wouldnt reply to

0800,  Twosday,  26  7. 22

1117,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  27  7. 22

Billy Joel  The Stranger  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5ofVsxTPoc