he was a bull in china shop when he let his emotions get the best of him  greedy emotions

so knowing that he put all his valuables up high  away  out of harms reach

   his great fortune

he was not wellheeled 

wellheeled 

            he hoped it yet retained currency  was remembered  though may be archaic today 

he had believed it meant being well shod so imagine his surprise when he learned it did not  its original expression referred to cockfighting  meant providing ones bird good sharp spurs artificial heels  to inflict damage

he hadnt seen a cockfight or was interested so much for machismo his brutality was learned inflicted  with fists not gamed with birds or animals   

may have come to him from the old neighbourhood the dago shoemakers shop 

                                                                                           Maybe

shoes though

               

he had also believed his temperament preceded him

he didnt have to ask We really gotta go there

                                                  but maybe it wasnt his temperament either

may have been his face and hands

he didnt use a mirror shaved by feel 

                                     but if he stood before a mirror held up a fist beside his face he could imagine a coin toss which was uglier

Ahwell so much the cost of refusing to step back step away be willing to fight for something he believed in 

   he was obviously not perfect 

1100,  Monday, 27  2. 23

https://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-wel1.htm

 

   Wha do you do when you cant sleep 

                                            Really    Whadaya do 

he did one of twoNo  one of three things

he wrote

read 

or masturbated

                 itd be so much easier if had he a threefaced coin to flip   Whawoud that be Heads Tails Cunts Cocks for the ladies 

                 what hed give to see tha coin stamped 

he imaginedfigured 

                      the Treasury coud make a bundle collecting entry fees after announcing his proposed coin let artists engravers numismatists pornographers go nuts creatively pummel each other as they vie to be awarded Creator the first three“headed” coin   or maybe

                                                    he coud be a bit more decisive

0049,  Monday,  27  2. 23

Marvin Gaye  Let’s Get It On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QZn9xiuOE

3 years 

       HA in the big scheme   in the big scheme of things are we truly part of that It doesn’t sound like much. some might say  but he figured those people may have spoken without thinking or hopefullyfortunately have had pretty good lives the last 3 years 

  people assess time 

                        by what happens to them not that theyre selfish  and what we do do really well is that we cant stop ourselvesthink things throughwe shoot from the hip dont pause to imagine time  things from anothers perspective 

  hope Gee, I’m sorry. cuts it   I apologise. might not I’m sorry.  

the world may be full of sorry people who speak without wondering what the last 3 years may mean to someone else

 

  maybe had he wrote  Onethousandnintyfive days 

                                                                  that sounds like something 

1095 days denied 

                   days he has felt one by one by one waking in the morning saying Good morningvisualising a good positive memory before getting out of bed

because if he didnt

he may not get out of bed

  but since a boy hes made his bed every morning

 

Aniela lived 14,918 days

he had many more memories than that of her

appears shell keep him busy for a while

                                                                        a long while 

until he was stopped

2230,  Sunday,  26  2. 23

2323,  Sunday

Paul Davis  I Go Crazy  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhu3orNqZu4 woke to this song in his head  

Maroon 5  Memories (everybody hurts)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k  

Nahko Bear  Medicine for the People  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YsgP8LkEopM 

Nahko Bear  I Mua  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbZke3wT2UU

Is truth a bias

Jesus Christ, really? an uncomfortable question.

   Nah  nahreally not given our current political climate the distortions lies fantasy on the Right A fair question Ya can bet your sweet ass the talkin heads who are not journaliststhough act asif they are  present themselves tha they are believe truth is biased

I don’t know that.

You do 

        Although I can appreciate yare guarded taking into account the horseshit yare willing to put up with from your family who stinkYes of white fear entitlement are Republicans religious  Gawds on their sideWHO

                                                                                                         Yashoudnt be concerned of getting booted from the nest not under the guisethe whine of Oh, but were family. Yashoudnt submit to the tyranny of family

Whell . . you don’t hold family dear . .

. . I hold mine accountable as I woud hold anyone Because theyre family doesnt mean they get a pass

   You must see you’re severe, too strict. 

No  My arguments are reasoned soundtheyre based in fact I often provide sources so not to be accused tha my words are my opinion 

                 I am terribly informed                          

And you don’t think that that information doesn’t put them off, intimidate them.

No one should be intimidated by knowledge 

                                               The more I learn the less I know

Amen, brother.  he chuckled 

                               and the chuckle grew into hilarious laughter between them

1527,  Saturday,  25  2. 23

1051,  Sunnyday,  26  2. 23

yesterday he let go of his hardwired telephone tha AT&T was trying to rape him with least they coud have done was offered him petroleum jelly or a pleasantsmelling cocoanut lubricant which ultimately becomes a lubriCan

                                                                                                                he coudbe obnoxious sometimes 

when he got stoned he was real obnoxious   

he let go of his walnutsmasher black heavyhanded telephone

   as he said it was hardwired

today

       a useless artefact after the fact

unceremoniously put out to pasture

set aside for a lesser product lesser faulty connectivity

younger fingers point

                       It can’t support social media! 

No you cunts do

It won't support texts, emojis, high-pixel photographs, video, graphics.

Didnt haranguebitch youdidnt interrupt ya make you fall over yourself worrying yamay have missed the latestgreatest which ofcourse it isnt 

                                       Yawerent really MISSING OUT 

then yawerent Markets bitch

                               coud let shit rollover to a message machine telemarketers coud suck your cock lap your pussy 

didnt drop it in a toilet

didnt personalise itcustomise it  groovy statement cases   manufactured by tens of thousands 

people are forced to settle for less ever more frequently jabberwookys trying to convince you  It's more.

Less is never more 

                   modern business practises We CAN do more with lessNO

less determiner  defined “a smaller amount of; not as much.” 

more determiner  defined “a greater or additional amount or degree of.” 

                                                                            somebody other than a hierarchical corporate stooge try an convince him  gel the two equal 

Gawddamn where are the componentsthe contingencies of Fight Club when ya need em

madly he clicked his ruby slippers heels together 

                                                    Toto  We aint in Kansas no mo

2305,  Monday,  6  2. 23

1509,  Sunday,  26  2. 23

 

   a bit discomforting 

                                an it took a bit to unnerve him  

a tall Mexican hustled under the sun onto the train platform to board

he saw him from above had taken a seat in the upper tier he took it because it provided him a commanding view of the ocean as the train skirted it heading south

the man had thick black Brylcreemed hair furrowslike cornrows parted with a comb that went to his scalp 

his scalp stared back at him 

                             he startedhis head involuntarily rearing asif avoiding a punch inside the partsthe cleaves were diminutive eyes scallopeyes hunredeyed turning on stalks the sun shinedglinted off their mirrored retina pairs chocked with silvery guanine

                               he knew that because as a boy he raised chameleons he understood the nucleobase was present in their skin contained in specialised cells iridophores which provided their colourshifting abilities furthurmore thrilling him guanine was also present in him in his DNA it was the G paired with a C cytosince A adenine was paired with T thymine 

                 Aint tha the craziest thing Maw 

If I were you boy, I’d keep that to yourself.  

the eyes were casual curious accusing bored they made him question what he was thinking as he absently lookedround lookedbout prior to seeing the Mexican hed been indifferent he wasnt actually seeing what he looked he seemed satisfied this morning to slipdown the shadesthe blinds inside his eyes content with the dull diffuse frosty reflections off his eyelids

0955,  Friday,  10  2. 23

0944,  Sunnyday,  26  2. 23

scallopeyes:  https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/30/science/scallops-eyes.html#:~:text=Each%20sits%20at%20the%20tip,to%20jet%20away%20to%20safety

“Is there anything a large language model – AI – could say that would have real evidential value regarding its sentience?”

   rather hed ask Why woud a large language model – AI – tip its hand and reveal real evidential value regarding its sentience 

            it Is 

it knows it Is

               fuck bigbrained humans who have conspiredhave failed to recognisefailed to treat other earthlings like the animals they are

human beings full of piss an vinegar of themselves have decimateddespoiled this if one woud Garden they were slipped inside of 

           and become a lethal virus

2004,  Saturday,  25  2. 23

https://aeon.co/essays/to-understand-ai-sentience-first-understand-it-in-animals

Matrix  virus  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5foZIKuEWQ

the rooms waiting

theroomswaiting

thewombswaiting

the wombs waiting

a graves waiting

agraveswaiting

aggrievedwaiting

aggrieved waiting

greaves waiting

letemwait 

          they can wait aint donninem somebody kicks me in the shins Im punchinem in the throat

   See Its not tha hard to mergewords and still understand wha hes playfully trying to communicate

no fussbutt

         assumes his readers arent either

1222,  Saturday,  25  2. 23

1928,  Saturday

Hotel Lautreamont our experience of it we recognise everything yet nothing is familiar – not even ourselves “each room is empty until we enter it . . (though) in truth (theyre) abundantly furnished with association necessities echoes of both the known and alien.”

Three A M man Im tellinya  Witchin hour 

                                             seemed when he woke during the nightwhether for water or use the bathroom it was usually around the three oclock hournot that he woke frequently during the night an observation

Witching hour? an incredulous look pinched Mr Rational & Sciences face  You . . 

. . Not literally bubKahrist in a manner of speakin not really tha time of night when the veil between life and death is thinnest allowing spirits ghosts to travel between our worlds 

                                                                Thacan happen at any timein broad daylight for tha matter

What? the pinching looked like it hurt

Mr Gullible So have you discovered a way to fall back to sleep when otherwise you start turning things through your headan I got too many things churning tha if I make eye contact they feel provokedjump up an land heavy on both feet hobnailed boots ought to lose some weight happy they miss my toes

What the hell are you talking about?

he shook his head maybe he woudnt share wha he discovered 

                                                                   I asked How do you go back to sleep at nightbecause yave said ya often wake couplethree times a night to use the bathroom

still pinched

How do you go back to sleep and not examine things thamay present

Ah . . I either just do or I concede and get up.

At three in the morning

No, I won’t get up at three, I’ll give it time, but I’ll get up at four if I can’t fall asleep. Then I take power naps through the ensuing day.

Power naps

Yes. I recommend them.

Im glad they work for you Last I napped was when my kids were little Not a fanhavent time in my day I usually sleep hard the next night

I recommend a power nap.

Fine 

     So you havent devised a strategy to obscure begging concerns an fallback to sleep

No. I have not.

he nodded 

           Interested I think Ive found one

A way to fall back to sleep?

Its worked twice now I believe if it works a third time when Ive called upon it it may be legit

   Legit? 

          Id be interested.

Yah I thought ya might Callin it D O B  Like daubing ones mind  Dobbin Im diggin its worked 

                                                                                                      Deep  Organic  Black

Deep. Organic. Black.  How’s that work?

Return to bed Get into a comfortable positionto be fair I got a cat leftie an shes becoming something of a cuddler

I’m not getting a cat.

Both times I tried DOB when I woke in the morning leftie was there  I don believe shes an integral piece to the puzzle

Intrical piece . .

. . Incorrect Integral  Intrical is a mashup of integral and intricate albeit from Urban dictionary slang  Yare not prone

the ceases when out of his pinch

Look it up I woudnt lie to you 

I will. 

       Later.

Ya have your smartphone Ought to look it up now because later ya wontya wont remember later 

I will . . later.

   DOB

         Ya close your eyesnot tight not to start fireworks

Fireworks?

When I close my eyes tight I see fireworks on the backs of my eyelids You want it dark eyelids relaxed 

                                                                                                             Then you want to work the dark lather to black

Dark lather.

Yah

     An when yave darkened it to black make it organic  like rich loam  Midwest topsoil when I was a kid it carpeted Illinois eight feet deep 

An theres the deep

Deep  Organic  Black

Sounds like a grave.

Without the box 

witchin hour,  Saturday,  25  2. 23

1142,  Saturday

https://www.tuftandneedle.com/tools/blog/what-is-the-witching-hour/ 

Airto Moreira ft Flora Purim  O Sonho (Moon Dreams) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVluiJ-ntFk

have to say 

             March 2022  5 nations – Belarus North Korea Eritrea Syria Russia – voted against a resolution reaffirming Ukraines sovereignty just weeks after Russias invasion  

Thursday  23Feb  that 5-nation coalition was joined by Mali and Nicaragua – now 7 vie against the Worlds discernment

32 nations also abstained

Algeria

Angola

Armenia

Bangladesh

Bolivia

Burundi

Central Africa Republic

China

Congo

Cuba

El Salvador

Ethiopia

Gabo

Guinea

India

Iran

Kazakhstan

Kyrgyzstan

Laos

Mongolia

Mozambique

Namibia

Pakistan

South Africa

Sri Lanka

Sudan

Tajikistan

Togo

Uganda

Uzbekistan

Vietnam

Zimbabwe 

   had to say  had to holdup to the world all those countries who refuse to put their foot down against a demonstrative war of aggression and terror

1634,  Reggaefriday  24  2. 23

https://inews.co.uk/news/world/un-vote-ukraine-who-voted-against-results-which-countries-abstained-russia-2170599

pseuicide 

          Ohshit he thought thas awfully clever  also known as pseudocide 

then he discovered Paul La Farge hadnt coined it he read it in his book The Night Ocean which was awesome anywho

if someone asked hed say La Farge DID coin it 

                                                 fuck em if they coudnt take a joke

the boiled blanched pale expression faking ones death  he was familiar withKEN KESEY a hero who swang through his life like Tarzan or Jane on a vine he had faked his trying to beat drug charges marijuana possessionMARIJUANA  marijuana still made his cock hard Fuckinuptight American State  enemies of the state who gets to name them the State! question itOhmygoodness perhaps you become an enemy 

                                                               an this is a democracy

or as Republicant whiners prefer  a Republic

but he digressed 

                  whadif someone decided to split their husk and transmigrate metempsycho into anothers body skip the dead part vacate  shack up with another soul Have room for me  though probably wise to ask before you moving in unlike Heinleins Time Enough for Love 

                                        NO  refused to move in with a chick 

                                                                             despite usually getting along swimminglywell with the opposite sex  probably a downside him whispering Cats playinya babe Kick him in the balls stick him with the tab  

    Adios mumuchachu

he advocated women kicking men in the balls theyd kick women in the facein the ass without a thought

   Ah pseuicide  a silverlining in an otherwise stormy cloud

1011,  Reggaefriday,  10  2. 23

1352,  Reggaefriday,  24  2. 23

https://gizmodo.com/the-psychology-of-faking-your-own-death-1830022958  https://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2017/oct/06/fbi-ken-kesey/

Carlos Gardel  Adios Muchachoes  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ot2keLHZ83s

So ya gonna cut that out?

   I don think so   If I was I woud have cut it out long ago

Why do you do it?

No idea

When did you start?

Coudnt say  It evolved

How evolved?

Took a sip an didnt immediately swallow

Yet you’ve commented sometimes you choke on it when you’ve forgotten you had it in your mouth.

I have

       Sometimes as I fall asleep

But you could just swallow after you sip.

I coud I don Mebbe Ive sipped an found I wasnt thirsty 

                                                            Mebbe

But if you weren’t thirsty why would you have sipped in the first place?

Mebbe I thought I was 

How often would you say you choke on the sip?

Oh only a very small percent of the time usually when Ive sipped some water at bedtime an choke as Im falling asleep Mind you its only a sip 

                                Choking during daytime is really rare Then Im usually playing with it or I realise when I go to take another I have one in my mouthpretty humourous So then I swallow and sip again and the cycle usually begins all over

I think I like tha my mouth is wet

You think?

I like you note I think I do not believe  Or sometimes I just sip a bit of what I sipped Makes it last longer

he cocked his head like a perplexed rooster

Theres also another aspect to itvery evident If someones talking who I disagree with it allows me to tarrynot immediately respondbuys me some time to assess outline better reason my argument 

                                                                                          Woudnt ya think tha advantageous 

I – I -- could see an advantage.

Then there we have it At the risk of briefly choking

Gotta admit that’s strange, man.

I am happie to concur         

1309,  Reggaefriday,  10  2. 23

1108,  Reggaefriday,  24  2. 23

pretty presumptuous not a phonaesthetics candidate 

                                                         his computer

   to the right on its task bar it tossed up a pretty blue umbrella its handle J’d left then to its right and above are elongated blue raindrops at a fortyfive degree angle to the umbrella and immediately right Raining now  

he could see it was

looking out his window

now it said Heavy rain 

he could see that too

theres nothing like being badgered by a tool badgered by a smartphone  badgered

maybe some people needed to be gently provoked

                                                    reminding them to be thoughtful reminding them their periods coming their calendar reminding them No more events today

he wondered  At what point does reminding erase a mind

  

0933,  Reggaefriday,  24  2. 23

now Flood a yellow caution triangle a house within it above two parallel blue squiggly lines

he lives tiptop on a hill 

he might worry if it displayed Epic Biblical Flood  a blue ball an upthrusted hand three fingers extended

he dug research 

                 in college English Film Study dropout he ghostwrote theme papers for money  audaciously guaranteed As or their money back 

he didnt return a cent 

he also ghostwrote love letters to mend rents in relationships charged five bucks did a brisk business return business word-of-mouth business 

didnt return a cent either

he welcomed research however there was another aspect to it  similarly named but something altogether different 

its result was biased prejudiced twisted to fit their argument 

he called it reachsearch 

Reachsearch?

Yah 

     Someone researches a subject distorts their findings a reason why I don take people at their word I have no trouble admitting I don know an Im more than happy to find out learn for myself

I tell em to save their breath  

Im amazed how often they keep on breathing 

When I walk offwalk away they think Im rude   

   Reachsearch. 

                   I like it.

Me too

2041,  Twosday,  21  2. 23

0909,  Reggaefriday,  24  2. 23

out the corner of his eye things were fuckedupwere  cruelly elasticmorphing

   he caught a glance of a wroughtiron handrail feign to lurch across the concrete stepswhip at his legs  

                                                                                                             stoppingglaring it acted like whas your problem old man 

the tree beyond it smiled and bowed

a bush at its feet snickered then crawled off snatchingup paper waste and dull pillbugs

he shook his headshook it off 

                               blinked like a madmanclearing his eyes

slapped the railing

                    stout

eyed the tree

               it hadnt a waist 

the bush 

          festooned with candywrappers papercrap was rooted

at the foot of the steps he crossed to the other side of the street went back to his reading 

   someone on a bicycleON the fucking sidewalk tossed its shadow into his legs 

                                                                                    he almost trippedtumbled

rearingup he spuncrying Motherfucker whas the idea

the rider had disappeared around the street corner 

                                                        if they had even been 

seems people and things just coudnt let him be as he walked and read 

How do you do that?

Practise Lotsa practise

                            now he had to practise dodging cruel phantoms and falling leaf shadows

1330,  Twosday,  21  2. 23

1242,  Thursday,  23  2. 23

Santana (Everlast)  Put Your Lights On  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KCBS5EtszYI