31.12.20

 

she called himshe never called him 
                                      Hullo Yare callin

I’m surprised you picked up given what you did, what you wrote.

I wrote Whadid I write

You know.

I write a lot I need context

Context? I’ll give you context; mathematical English, precocious-squared.

Ah yes

 

Ah, yes. Ah, yes . . nothing more?

Nothing more

What you wrote was repulsive.

Thank you for your opinion You didnt have to callya could have texted emailed

I thought you should hear it from me; you often have said you value my input.

Your input not your hangups

You think having sex with an underaged girl is a hangup.

I wrote she was a precocious teenager you were a precocious teenag . .
. . You didn’t try to have sex with me.

Is this what the call is about

           Aw . . no.
No

I said no.

I believe no harm no foul  Dependent upon the individuals

Oh that's charming.

Why do you think harm or foul

It’s illegal.

An perhaps it should be illegal in some cases

IN SOME CASES.

Some cases  Are you gonna lose your mind

I’d love to hear your defense.

No defense As you point out they may have crossedhowbout violated societal or legal lines Those are cosmetic  They are constructs an theres many among those entities who facilely exploit the same lines but have brethren that looks the other way or protects them when they do
                                           Because  mebbe   theyll need someonea colleague some day to cover their ass An itd be all fine and dandy because they makeup the rules and can sidestep inconveniences because they can 

Their rules arent for them

Not governance  Power


The lovers empowered themselves

 

Hullo

               That’s quite a speech. I’ll have to digest it.

Will ya call or text or email 


I don’t know.

 

Ill be here  Writing

2323,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  12. 20
1327,  Thursday, New Years Eve,  2020

Coltrane  A Love Supremetrance  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ll3CMgiUPuU

  
so he didnt forget 
                  hed been forgettingbeen coming up with bodacious bodacious over and over againWrong not bodacious  WHAT  aah precocious and precocious didnt begin to cover her if he could twist Englishs arm any languages arm hed make them allow precocious-squared asin mathematical terms terminology precocioussquared she was only the second woman he ever met who he would label precocioussquared  once when he was nineteen she was fifteensixteen going on thirtyfivethirtysix a mesmerising body  intellectually she was off the charts   she spoke four languages

precocioussquared Number Two body  unfortunately not the trailblazers mind but not deficient either 
                                                                                                          How old are you 
she hesitated 
             whatever she said wasnt going to be true like presenting a fake ID at a bar and unable to regurgitate all over the bouncers nifty leather shoes your birthdate age name address James Bond wouldnt hang out with youya might get him killed you could die  hed be rightfully concerned for himself 
                                                                           Menhuh 

I’m seventeen, almost eighteen.

I like that yare tryin yawanna try again  Hit the bullseye this time

 

I’m fifteen, though I’ll be sixteen in a month.

Got ID

Up in the apartment.

Ill wanna see that 
                    Im thirtythree Me an Jesus things have gone better for me  I run thirtythree for him in regards to kundalini thirtythree bones of the spine  Chakras

You know kundalini?

Not formally My wife dabbled

Ah. Your wife. My condolences.

Condolences 
               What can you possibly know about my wife and I

Women talk. Word gets around.

Ive only been here three months

Didn’t take two. Heard my Mom and her friends talking.

 

Jesus

As you said, maybe, maybe I don’t know. Maybe I just know you from here at the pool, seen you around.

Likewise Yare a sunbather

And you swim, swim lot of laps; I didn’t think you noticed me . .
. .  Please 
            Id have to be blind

Oh. I didn’t realise.

Comon If youre honestId prefer honesty men dont miss you . .
. . Not me, my body. They notice my body.

Yah Were a craven lot  Yah your body

she smiled a touck of wickednessmischief  girlish  womanish 
                                                     I’ve noticed your body, I like it.
Thank you

I like that you say thank you.

When ones complimented they should acknowledge the complimentthat shouldnt be a source of embarrassment or confusion

Boys tell me that they like me. What they mean to say is they like my body, they talk to my breasts, my body, they don’t talk to me; my face puts them off.

Teenage acne It aint forever Youll outgrow it  it was one of many reasons I didnt buy your seventeenalmost eighteen  Youll see  Also another reason I assume why you sun correct

Yes.

 

afterwards they ran into each other frequently at the pool

he didnt believe in coincidences 
                                  Where do you live Maya  
she grinned sheepishly  There. she pointed  a corner apartment nearly obscured by a redwood That’s my bedroom window . .
. . That you watch from

Yes.
    she didnt hesitate

Thats stalking

Oh. Stalking. I’m used to it, the peeking, the brazen comments, the knowing looks that don’t know anything. Like being undressed, isn’t it? How’s it feel?

Feel  You undressing me

Wouldn’t that be too provocative to admit?

To answer a question

You’re undressing me?

Yadon answer a question with a question

Okay. Yes.

That wasnt hard was it 
                          Yes Given were wearing swimsuits its not hard to imagine  to fill in the blanks

Fill in the blanks. I like that.

he smiled passively

My mother doesn’t like that we’re . . familiar.

Anwhy do you think that

I think you know.

I agree with you but thats you mothers problem isnt it 
                                                          We happen to enjoy the same pool and patio Its public space

She and her friends think otherwise. They’re considering complaining to the apartment management.

Letem I love to dance

 

they complained Maya told him

management took the smart tack and didnt involve him

 

 

Maya knocked on his door just before high school commenced

Hey

Can I come in?

No

I want to see you.

Awright Take the bus into the city Thursday after school Ill meet you for coffee or a hot chocolate if you like

With whipped cream?

Sure

 

they met like that on occasion her junior year

she said with his help it was her best scholastic year ever she could imagine herself competing for some college scholarships in the Fall

Lets see if we can win some for you

 

she did 
         she applied herself earned herself a threequarters ride to a state college

 

her complexion healed 
                        As you said it would.

 

 

So, are you going to tell me now about your assuredness, the sun being beneficial?

The sun

Yes.

I wasnt referring to the sun

I’m confused.

The otherwise

The otherwise, what otherwise?

he smiled quietlywickedly

she mirrored him 
                   Otherwise?

Maya I never said beneficial

You did.

Then you misunderstood I said he winked benefacial

she giggled OhhShit! OHSHIT!

 

facial wasnt the only thing they oiled

 

 

he sees Maya occasionally they wave to each other 
                                                       he rides the bus into the citythe same bus Number Nine she used to ride   

shes a professor at city college 
shes married
has two girls

 

its hard to see that she ever struggled let alone with a complexion problem 
 
0211,  Monday,  28  12. 20
2209,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  30  12. 20

30.12.20

 
according to or as required by Bob  or Father Dad 
                                                    while approaching a urinalfingering his fly  it was customary to also hawkup a loogie or at minimum summons some spit no fuckin clue why just following the leader following the example set  it was terrifying as a small boy to damn near stare into the eye of the cake why call it cake stare into the churning splashingspitting vortex no lifesavers hung from hooks on the wall taking your life great similehuh in your hands  and done urinating donsay piss flushing it and delivering the coup de grace  spit the loogie or saliva down its gurgling porcelain throat



that may have been elaborate 
                               though its a far better description than pissing on a wall under graffiti yacant make heads or tails out of

that saidhowever hed seen bubblegum graffiti he couldnt make heads nor tails out of either in a narrow alley in a Central Coast California town bubblegum alley and on the filthy pavement someone fashioned – fuck someone Michelangelo – Michelangelo fashioned the bestlooking pussy he ever laid eyes on fashioned from pink bubblegum  made him want to get down on his hands and knees and eat it Hmm chewy  
                                                          but he digressed  whawas he talkinbout    aah

uhhuh hed have to ask his Dad about the ritual hed turned him onto


Whaswit the spit the loogie Dad

I don’t know . . the cherry on top? That’s what your grandfather did. Your uncle my older brother . . buddies . . . spit, cigarette butts, chew . . always something in addition to relieving yourself . .
. . Kinda lettin your hair down

Perhaps, in a manner of speaking.

 

Thats good for me

That works for you?

Yah it works

Good. Who knows why we do the things we do?

Thats overly broad Dad

Nothing like getting over a broad, son.

 

his face went to grimace without permissionSTOP RIGHT THERE What? That was funny What do I do? Wink   Yah.Wink.  Marvelous.

We have our moments

1822,  Twosday,  29  12. 20
1018 nice, or 2218,  Twosday,  29  12. 20
Julie Andrews  Getting to Know You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BbbYY-pAmlY

$342K -- Killed

Moscow Mitch and the Sociopath-in-charge 
                                             theres a grubmumbling 69 he wouldnt want to tune into
even without the sex its been disgusting

29.12.20

 

he texted :  : Hmm, thought I’d throw on Deadpool 2. I did like the first (despite myself).

she texted :  : No kidding.

  :  :  No kidding. Kinda posthumanish. I’ve read about posthumanism since the 80s. But you can well imagine that if smartphones don’t tickle my fancy that I’d be unlikely to fuck a posthuman . . despite her garish plastic cosmetics and upgrades.

  :  :  No kidding 
                   she must be distracted by something he wasnt going to ask

  :  :  Scifi – possibilities were extolled they (scientists – ohsay Dr Frankenstein) would eventually be able to upload our wetware (memories – thinking) into computers. And THENof course machines will pull the plug on us without saying so – kinda OffLine us -- cool astute machines with a sense of irony and black humour. Ohbrother.

  :  :  Definitely weird 
                         definitely distracted

  :  :  Yup. Scary times. Many more than for me. As our brains dwindle away, lack memory functions, we lose our personal “clouds”, preferring clouds outside ourselves.

  :  :  Scary.
              Uhoh maybe he caught her masturbating shes trying to be polite thatll teach him to buy her a vibrator for Christmas

  :  :  Yes.

  :  :  Exactly.
                masturbating hed seen her text with one hand

  :  :  Glad we’re aligned. Suppose one could argue that redundancy, whether your cloud or their cloud, is crucial these days – because when it goes, it’s gone – erased – asif it never happened – who’s to say it did – there’s no evidence.

 


she didnt answerdisappeared
                                though what could one possibly text while cumming
  
1856,  Sunday,  27  12. 20
2100,  Twosday,  29  12. 20
Paul McCarthy  Let‘em In  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXdIyS85emM 

               one might think hed learn by now  that he shouldnt bother going to bed before threethirty four because when he does something lurking outside his periphery or in sleeps shadows lunges forward when he or his dreaming blinks and startles themwakes them whatever hes dreamed is still in his eyes  the concrete house outside Miami Thats not concrete thats coral The house is built of coral blocks a naked woman facing away from him lying on her belly in whowhose bed bedroom the wall is plateglass in a highrise lying on his back at night beside a fire and watching embers ash and smoke rise up into a brilliantstar scattered night he quit trying to find constellations it was an alien sky . . .

this morning awakened but not alarmed 
                                           Here we go again he mutters What now  
it wasnt like winning at television game show  the crowds OOHs and AAHs following placard instructions dazzling lights the trembling curtains anxiously waiting to partunfold like an experienced prostitute 
                                                                                             he was awake  he wasnt the type to get up out of bed warm some milk read a book or do a crossword puzzle  he went to bed to sleep and Dammit he was going to sleep 
                   he closes his eyes and watches the marbling darknessthe sparks like struck flint  surfs  sprinkling pinpointsdull and brilliant then gone  and inevitably his brain or mind or some oddball interior tenantself cozies up and talks  its never his voice or voices  I think  he didnt trust I thinkthey sensed it  I believe  now hes hooked  a belief system  thinking isnt a belief     

I believe . . .
 
                it was terrifying  maybe the beingthe voice was trying to chase him out of bedhave him retreat  it should have known better he didnt play their games  evidently being consciousawakened was its invite

Yadon yadon  Yare out of your fuckin mindyare offbase she didnt believe thatnot for a moment  Our circumstances unfortunately created the endgame we had to endure




the voicethe being argued that when his daughter selected him and her husband and sister to be her caretakers that she knew then theyd also be the coconspirators of her death


with interiorselves like that who needed enemies 
                                                  or for that matter  friends

reallyearly AM,  Reggae Friday,  26  12. 20
1126,  Twosday,  29  12. 20

28.12.20

 

Hold onto your panties boys and girls 
                                       particularly those boys wearing panties  white cotton panties? or something in silk risqué

he was gifted silk boxers once upon a time and laundered and returned them the next day he explained it was like having a hand at his cock with his every step erections constricted in pants are a bitch 
                                                                                            I hope you can get your money back      

she said Really? I’ll have to give ‘em a go.

she telephoned the next day and thanked him

she donned them and took a public bus to Morro Bay and back the road is particularly bad pocked and potholed a rough ride 
            I came three times.

what could he say 
                    If you havent laundered them Id like em back

she laughedhad a wicked laugh all white chucklets pointy canines and deep dimples that he teased one day he was going to fuck 
              she never covered her mouth when she laughed  he adored her

 

déjà vu 
         Grrls and boys  ever have déjà vu looped three times in a dream an attractive naked Asian womansomewhat exercised by the remedial task of having to escort him through the building talked up her body (it was worth talking up  she was all about her titsher perfect nipples – she wasnt wrong) surprisingly he understood her dialect  she led dreaming-him (obviously -- hes the overseer) and him to a large weatheredwood door that opened inward to two rooms 
in the first room high-ceilinged is a kitchen  a large wood table  a chair at its head beneath a generous wideopen doublehung window  dreamed-him is drinking whisky from a large shallow petri dish and stirring a huge pot of soup on blueflame gas burner 
                       beyond is a second room  a bedroom  sparse  a bed dresser wardrobe  the beds unmade and a naked woman sleeps on her belly 
                                    and beyond is an opened sliding glass door that leads onto a paver patio and a sandyyellow beach  a warm green sea 
                                          the only variation in the dream is the outdoorsthe attitude of the waves  the swimmers and the vessels on the water
                                           a boat washes up onto the beach  the first two were a variety of wood rowboats  lastly a brilliantsilver large metal trough  long and rectangularly  when it bedded itself  unguided  as the others had on the beach the seasurf swells and thrashes its stern  tall waves crest and dump themselves into it

of the three he watched to see if maybe this time someone might be aboard 


no one rose 
             three empty boats

he went back to tending the soupsee if more vegetables or seasoning were needed

he was getting hungry
 
early AMish Monday,  28  12. 20
1604,  Monday,  28  12. 20

$336K -- Killed

 
The WORST 

commentators have to cease making comparisons 
                                                  Drumpfs golfingDrumpfs playing with his dick 
                                                                                                   This thing aint working!
he espouses conspiracy theories from the White House 
                                                        talk about FAKE news

1837, Monday,  28  12. 20



inbetween coffees and whiskys and beers and teas and talks among himselves 

himselves
          if others hadnt themselves or herselves his heart ached
he frankly had him and herselves  he didnt point a finger at them and not pointing they didnt point back  not accusing they wouldnt accuse him 
                          but he and they knew  knew of each other and knowing the myriad of sides he had  the lazy turning mirrorball above a room in houses and lands illuminating with queershards and deftstabs and longingtrembling gazes 
     he knew  and knowing there was no turning away no disguises NO harbours  or havens

or trespasses

or fealties

or vows


it was out in the Open
  
                         Where it belongedWhere it had always Belonged  but Where it made people uncomfortable

 

therefore his Path was to make others Uncomfortable 
                                                       and he was proud – pride is an awful thing – if it isnt True

his pride was honest and truthful
                                   so he excoriated without whim or guise or fear

truth ought to be served black and blue 
                                         it should Moo when cut with a honed blade and forked joyouslyhappily into ones mouth


he salivated to its flavour

 

 


piss on them who couldnt

1018 or 2218 – he had reasons to prefer 1018,  Sunday,  27 12. 20

Nina Simone  Feeling Good  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs
Ziggy Marley  True to Myself  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzHlu5JKJvM 

27.12.20

 

 

he presented himself as Tom Kettle 
                                    and thereafter he only responded to T Kettle to himself he thought Mebbe he fancies himself a T Rex 
               But there's more to it than meets the eye. that was his other self among many other-selves his dreaming-self
   We’re playing a little game, you and I.

Im playing a game with myself

If you insist.

Nahgo ahead Im curious to see where this come out

That’s why you come here.

I havent a choice I gotta sleep

Yes  you  do. his dreaming-self smiled THEN he had dimples

haha the shit you put me through

Us! The shit you put us, all of us, through.

I suppose theres that

Very noncommittal. That’s unlike yo . .  
. . Only because I dont know what you got up your sleeve

Your sleeve, or rather yourselve, yourself.

Clever

We are, you and I and us.

Rooms getting crowded

Room’s always crowded when you come in.

That sounds like a backhanded   compliment

Maybe you’ll take it for all of us.

Ill take it for the team 


Shall we return to T Kettle before we run too far afield?

Shall Nice Dont hear shall too often

Shall we?

We shall

What strikes you about T Kettle?

Same thing that struck me about the dream yesterday

And?

I have to elaborate

Humour me. Humour the rest of yous.

Awright T Kettle is very similar Letters versus number Letterswords prefer to be verbose so naturally Id expect more letters than numbers

And?

And twoeightyeight and eightythree three eights in five numbers Whereas T Kettle is three Ts in seven letters the pair of Es is a nice touch
                   Youll recall weve played with a pair of Esyes on occasion

I recall.

Was it as go for you as it was for me

Jesus, man, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander; we have little separation between us, a line of dominoes, nerveendings, firing synapses, a heap of dried fallen leaves along the street curb that you used to set on fire.

I remember

All of us remember.

Seems you run a tidy little ship

I try, if only you’d keep from heaping up more and more. 
                                                         Did I say more? An more.  

Facets Like compoundeyes Like more than two sides to any story Like criminals love a crowd

Like shut up.


Awright Was I in the neighbourhood

You kidding me? You are the neighbourhood, the labyrinth, the maze.

Good Then Im still sane

You are In-sane. In the In-Crowd.

Groovy
 
early AMish,  Sunday,  27  12. 20
too cool 227 or 1427,  Sunday,  27  12. 20
The Fixx  One Thing Leads to Another  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHYIGy1dyd8  

 

 

2.88 a pound  83 pounds

simple 
      it WAS simple call it 3 a pound times 83  249   249.00   .12 at 83  .10 at 83  8.30 plus .2 at 83 equals 1.66 or 9.96  or subtract 10.00 from 249.00 plus 4   239.04 
                                                            aint much cash gotta agree

that was the Agreed price for freshcaught elan

they were hard to find if you didnt know where to fish

the reefs what depth  bait
                             elan was particular

and elan was tasty marbled   a coldwater fatty fish 

excellent as sushi sashimi though its tumescent tangerinestreaked pale blue flesh put people off foolish  only wild Alaska salmon was in the ball game 
                                        fewer and fewer unfortunately

2.88 a pound is a fair price

 

some peopleone  particular  person  had to be a cunthe came up short but he sold the family needed money  Ill give you a couple of days to ante up 

he put the last of the elan into the back of a truck

the truck drove off

he fingered the light cash     

We’re square. No anteing up. You got what you got.  Twothirtyeight was what was agreed to.

2.38

that aint as simple

he counted the money in his hand

it came to 197.54

Oneninetyseven fiftyfour aint Twothirtynine aughtfour   cunt he didnt have to say that Yahhe did

cunt smiled

a malevolent smirk

good 
      they understood each other 


I want the difference with interest now

With interest?

Yah I would have settled for the difference in a couple of daysya anteing up but ya got a mouth on ya  Your brother didnt

My brother’s a sap.

Interest is twenty percent a day

simple 
      it was simple short 41.50 times 20 percent 8.30 on top  49.80  

Well call it Fifty a nice round numberso you wont forget for my inconvenience  wasting of my time    

Got all you’re gonna get.  he chided 

mebbe cunt didnt imagine dying for fifty bucks

hed kill for less 
                if cunt didnt know he should have

ball was in their court

he hoped he didnt have to go up through cunts Mickey Mouse soldiers

but after all that was up to them

tomorrow should have only costed them balance plus interest

fact wasHA 
            hed save em money

 


288 and 83

numerology

288  ten  eighteen  nine

83  eleven  two

nine

two

he figured his numbers added up nicely
 
early AMish over and over,  Saturday,  26  12. 20
1144,  Sunday,  27  12. 20
yacan make up your own mind