he emptied the last bit of a bottle of Irish whiskey into a frosted Hazel Atlas shotglass in the manner an deliberation he managed his carbon footprint

                               so small it could be argued he didnt exist                                                                                  

the bottle assend up  the last of its contents coerced dri b  b  l   i   n   g     o    u    t

dripping

        one two three four fivedrip one two three four five drip one two three four five  drip one two three four five six sevendrip one two three four five six seven drip one two three four five six seven  drip one two three four five six seven eight ninedrip one two three four five six seven eight nine drip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten elevendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteendrip one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve thirteen fourteen fifteen sixteen seventeen eighteen nineteen twenty twentyonedrip  then he counted the upturned bottle beyond twentytwo thirtybonedry  it hadnt another drip remaining  bonedry  contents expended   

it just takes a little bit of patiencea little bit of time 

his girlfriend accused him of damnnear Zen patience

Zen HOW! 

No  he didnt buy into thathe didnt

                                    he was simple like Maxwell House  Good to the Last Drop

he was adamant  any last dropany last breath was a worthwhile wait 

You should go  He has no idea youre even here

his buddy Bobbys mother said that to him

he seethed

               an then some queer calm rose in himwashed over him like a tidesomething deep an viscous inside him  its quiet reasoned that she was deranged by her sons imminent death

she had never been good to Bobby 

Bobby was crippled up in the womb at birth by polio

presented he was wiped clean then given godparents a man and a woman from the waitingroom an his Last Rites

when he survived his parents must have determined they couldnt treat him well  maybe they assumed theyd die before him an left on his own he needed to be selfreliant  they gave Bobby subsistence

him dying before them tore a huge hole in their strategy

If onlyhuh

she was eating a huge plate of regret with all the trimmings  vomiting   then back again to the table for another huge plate  an vomiting  an again ad nauseam

No  Im staying  When he last had his eyes open he saw me  Anif his eyes open again hell see me exactly right where Id been   He knows Im here   I aint goin nowhere

he was there to Bobbys last breath though they were so shallow he couldnt hear them an until his last heartbeat when a machine SCREAMED his heart stopped

                                        he could hardly believe he had to tell the nurse to kill its fucking SCREAM

maybe death row nurses were callous

Yah baby he said to his girlfriend I believe most things are worth waiting onare worth my patience

0106 an 1300,  Day-between-Two-Ts,  28  2. 18

In the Fishtank  Sparklehorse & Fennesz  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkdbU7rvXr8

Supercunt

what would that outfit look like

                                an what would cunt look like stuffed in its colourful sausage casing an flowing cape

would he give Black Panther a run for his money

he read the quote numerous times “I really believe I’d run in there even if I didn’t have a weapon.” however he always preferred context when pull-quotes were used  what he saw on television was cunt enunciating “You don’t know until you test it(mind you cunt had five opportunities to test himself  Vietnam   Ahforgot  bone spurs), but I think, I really believe I’d run in there, even if I didn’t have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would have done that too . .”  

lest we forget he was addressing thirtynine Governors who he coopted to share his victimisation-play at not being Super enough to warp time an be outside of Marjory Stoneman Douglas(. . the Everglades is a river not a swamp . . ) High School when the shooting began 

the assembled governors were too polite  they should have immediately said something or quietly rose an left the room

thereby skewing the Supercunts opticks

                                             hes a National disgrace

1106,  Twosday,  27  2. 18

1058 days or fewer remaining

http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2018/02/brave-trump-id-disarm-parkland-shooter-with-bare-hands.html

Genesis  we need a Supercunt video please  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHmH1xQ2Pf4

she didnt attract himwasnt attractive to him  but he thoroughly enjoyed her affable laissez faire attitude towards thingstowards life itself  

however  she was attracted to him

whenever the opportunity presented itself she loved relating the story of the first time she ever laid eyes on him
I wanted right then and there to fuck himtake him around the corner on the grass in front of the Mission and have my way with him the xrated version was always the first out thing of her mouth

as it was it was Mardi Gras night in the city the parade concluded the debauchery beginning children were taken home out of harms way while adults prowled the steep an smell of pheromones washed the air the night sexually blatant      

she saw him  he saw her  she stopped fastalmost whiplash before the plateglass at the window counter where he was taking dinner

she put her hands on the glass an although he couldnt hear herhe watched her expressions  she began crying like a cat in heat  her friends who were out with her lustily attested to itlaughing  She was at sudden all caughtup in him 

she scratched the window with her lacquered pearlescent nails in long exaggerated pulls

he watched  it would have been impolite to continue eating  an as her mates laid hands oncajoling her to move onmove her away she suddenly relaxedacquiesced  nodded an turned  but when they let go of her she turned backlunging at the windowpulling her blouse up over her ample breasts an leaning against itflattened them against its chill

he saw her flesh goosebumpher nipples an aureoles firm

                                                          delightfully unexpected

then her saw her pert fast smile over their swelled topsover the creamanfloral fabric at her throat 

he mouthed Thank you very much Im flattered

He saidthough I couldn’t hear him  Thank you very much. I’m flattered.  Man, he could have been ohsomuchmore than flattered that nightIdve tried to snap his spine onewayoranother. I would have reduced him to a shell of a man.

Then I would have eaten his shell.

she was known for her hyperbole

but she wasnt always 

months later while at work he was called by management upstairs into a conference to fill a empty seat for a candidates final interview 

Christ. Just observe. You don’t have to ask any questionsjust observe and give us your candidwe know how candid you are, give us your impression.

that was the second time he saw her

she was under control demur intelligent provided thoughtful indepth answers he recognised she knew there was the time to be professional an time to let it all hang out which unbeknownst to the panel he sat among that he witnessed each

after she left after shaking everyones handsbetraying nothing if she did remember himhe figured she did the panel coalesced asking him first so he could return to work what he thought I think shes a diamond in the rough an can be faceted admirably become a keen asset for the company 

no risk 

he wouldnt be working with her

just in the same complex

on rare occasions they saw each otherexchanged pleasantries obviously the first time they metintroduced themselves she asked if he remembered her  Ohyes Mary  If I wanted I can close my eyes an see every fascinating curve of you

she blushed

he told her the colour looked good on her

a year and a half later he heard it through the inevitable grapevine that she was engaged oddly enough was going to marry a Mormon

a year later she was pregnant 

he ran into her in the parking lot at the rear of the business  she had earned a months parking place awarded for being the companys employee of the month

she looked wonderful

                      he had a covert thing for pregnant women believing them the epitomethe blossom of womanhood

he told her that he had sixtysix cousins an for years on end he found himself as a boy in the midst of pregnant auntstheir bellies bumping his headhis head bumped backanforth between bellies  the warm scent of breastfeeding

she said she was going to breastfeed

he said Best thing for a baby an not so shabby for daddy

Daddy?

Hellyah  Why is baby entitled to all the benefits I helped provide

Guess I never thought about it.

he laughed an regaining his composure  I didnt think anything got past you Youre a lusty girl

I am, though apparently my lust simmers comparative to yours.

I got an excuse reason I was breastfed an Ive had two babies Mighty tastyWaaaah  laughing again he held the door open for her as they enter the office

Human Resources notified all staff that she had a baby girl she would take a six-week maternity leave then return to work

probably two months later as he sat beside the creek across from the Mission its inviting grass where he typically took his lunchhour with books an pen an paper she approached him  Hey!

Hey Mary You look great  A good birth

Yes. Apparently, like my mother, I have the makings to be a good baby machine. I’m lactating so copiously I’m donating.

USDA Prime

In effect, yes. You’d be surprised how many women unfortunately can’t produce milk.

I suppose I would

Anyways, I don’t want to interrupt your lunch. I brought you a little something. she set a brown paper lunch bag down at his elbow  It’s always good to see you.

Thank you

Youre welcome.

he returned to a particularly passage he couldnt put down until it was resolved

then he turned his attention to the paper bag

within were two sealable plastic pouches filled with opaque mothers milk

she wrote her personal email on one in permanent marker an briefly If you like, plenty more where that came from.

would he break his lunch rule Not eating at lunch  technicallyhowever he wouldnt be eating

he undid the doublezipped extrawide seal

inhaled its scent through his nose

he took a deep pullhalf its six ounces

as he remembered Tasty

she was willing to hook him up 

he wasnt one to say no or look a gift horse in the mouth Pity though he thought not to imbibe from its source 

but thatd just incur all sorts of troublepossibly mayhem

professionally

personally

good thing he wasnt overtly attracted to her

late Sunday evening,  25  2. 18

1607,  Monday,  26  2. 18

a character in a film he watched asked What do you know about death

the question lingered in his mind long after he heard it

he had trouble remembering which filmhe held his head in his hands inspecting its features much as Hamlet did as he looked into the vacant orbs an over the flatbone of Yoricks skullwha was the film  a moth of recognition flutteredbeating white motes in black space  but nothing came of it   What do you know about death  asked of a contemporary woman

he wished he could remember  it vexedhaunted him

he knew death

he didnt inflict death except to eat

he thought if people wanted to eat meat they ought to kill an butcher the animal they ate

he wondered then  how many people would eat meat

butchers were turned into slaughterhouses that have been turned into meat factories

animal flesh a cog in a machine horrifed by the many murders of its brethren before its very eyes  

terror infecting meat

he preferred his terror blackanblue

                                                      what did he know about death

he killed an butchered his share of beef fowl rabbit somehow fish seemed different so a repetitive birthday wish he made as he blew out candles on his pie was that fish for a day had vocal cords an could shriekaghast ripped from the wateriron in their jaws an faces  sometimes the hook swallowedin their throats  SCREAMING when thin knives were stuck in their vents disemboweled  So what was your wish? Cant  If I tell you it wont come true an I reallyreally want it to come true there are worse things to wish for

he never did kill an butcher pigs an lambs  however he rarely ate eitheras a matter of fact the only time he ever ate lamb was growing up in his parents home an when he returned East to visit them  

his parents adored lamb

                           then also ethnic Eastern European he discovered that he was very fondthat he had much in common with Mexicans in California their cuisine  that they also relished organ meat the brain liver kidneys heart sweetbreads bone marrow  when you killed an animal you ate everything    Harhar  people thought he was joking when he said if someone was stupid enough to break into his house while he was home hed eat free for months  human beingsdespite their thinking are part of the food chain  thats why he took umbrage when a mountain lion took down a human being an authorities went out an killed a lion

                                                       he thought We aint special

what did he know about death

he knew enough to get byhed lost scores of relatives  he was in the hospital room when his best friend died  later when his wife died  he was right beside many of his cats when they died

he knew dead was dead

he knew religion was great gouts of smoke blown up peoples asses  which however attested surely to the titillation sensuality of the anus

No
   he wasnt going to Hell

it didnt exist

death returned you to the stars

Thursday evening,  22  2. 18

1349,  Sunday,  25  2. 18

his evolution on Trump it pains him to utter his name                               

there was the vomitous Trump of the last centuryearly this century

                                                                     who could have died an all he would have noticed was that the air smelled less like garbage

then there was Drumpf  he embraced his German immigrant namecowardly discarded

then cunt

Kurt Andersen quoted H. L. Mencken in the Baltimore Evening Sun (1925) in his book Fantasyland

“The way to deal with superstition (chicanery an lying) is not to be polite to it, but to tackle it with all arms, and so rout it, cripple it, and make it forever infamous and ridiculous.”

soon Network was going to pull cunts dismal reality show off the Market wouldnt be soon enough for him

Thursday afternoon,  22  2. 18

1247,  Saturday,  24  2. 18

1061 days remaining or less

she was harried

                 setting her items down on the counter she sighed  deeply   somewhat frustrated   upclose he saw she was hairyed her clothing

Didnt your mother tell you youre not supposed to hold animals when you wear black

she cast her eyes to her breast her sleevesshe grasped her sweater at the waist pulling it away from her body saw more of the animal shed  OhforChristssake! I look like a yeti.

Aint that bad

Damn near. Dont try to humor me please.

                                           It aint even my animal, its my son’s girlfriend’s guinea pig, he gave it to her, she wanted a guinea pig badly, she just broke up with him and gave it back to him.  Its her guinea pig. a deeper sigh

Youll excuse me  Why is this your problem   Its her guinea pig

Awh. Her parents kicked her out of the house and she’s between places. She can't care for a guinea pig and herself while she moves around between friends.  They didn’t really kick her out, it’s a long story.

Ill not pry

Thank you. It’s shit, it’s shit. I hate getting caught up in shit that isn’t mine. I’ve always had to deal with my shit. 

It’s not even a nice guinea pig.

Not nice Youre covered in fur

sigh I laid down on the couch to take a quick nap this afternoon before heading out on errands. It climbed up on me while I was asleep, the most affection its ever offered me . .

. . While you were asleep  Sounds like a punchline to a Joan Rivers joke

Joke?

Yeah  Her husband told her he was really enjoyed their sex lifeit was fantastic Then she began waking up

groan

Groan  Thats funny

I didn't care for Joan Rivers.

I liked her humour  I understand they made her into Tupperware when she died

OhmyGod!

No  Thats her joke Im just repeating it

I didn’t like her humor.

I only heard her occasionallybut I always laughed  She was a cutup she was cutupthat I dont understand  But back to your sons girlfriends guinea pig  I got a solution

A solution?

Yes  Its not a nice guinea pig

No. It’s not nice.

Do you see your son solving this problem

No. I’m caring for it.

Then I have your solution

Which is?

Eat it

Whaat?

They eat guinea pigs in Peru  My daughter visited an she shared a guinea pig with her boyfriend  Said it was delicious

I don’t think so.

You dont think Peruvians eat guinea pigs  or you dont think you could eat a guinea pig

I have a groundskeeper who is from Peru. I’ll ask him.

Then also ask him for a good recipewrite it downgo into the houseconfront the guinea pig read it the recipe  except you leave out the part where its an ingredient  Betcha it hears thatan understands it  Itll treat you real nice

A guinea pig.

Dont make that faceyouve eaten rabbit

Ah, yes. Yes, I’ve eaten rabbit.

Squirrel  Its a rodentlike a guinea pig  a rabbit  Unconventional meatbut meat nonetheless

My family back East eats squirrel

Ive eaten squirrel many times Raised in the Midwest

And you liked it?

Tastes like chicken  You can eat a guinea pig

I don’t know.

Lets run the gamut Rat

Yu  rat?

Yup  Think about ityou raise youre own ratsfeed em well why wouldnt you eat rat

You say rat. I think of wharf rats or sewer rats.

Youre thinking wrong  What you ought to think  wait for it    wait    free range rat   Free range animalsya pay a premium per pound  Just saying

Oh. My. God.

Betcha they taste like chicken too

Thursday evening,  22  2. 18

1354,  Friday,  23  2. 18

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2013/03/12/174105739/from-pets-to-plates-why-more-people-are-eating-guinea-pigs

it was the little things that got himthat got her why  instinctually  they gravitated to one another despite the gulf in their years

their relationship was dumb luck

they confided in each other it was unexpected

                                               an when people met themwere put off by them  tried to elaborate poorly  enunciate poorly  their presence existence nearly simultaneously they said Unexpected  saving the others face

                                                                                                     still after all these years

she was unable to make the film

she was laid up  had been assaulted  was recovering from broken bones by an unknown assailant  a coward

he wondered if coward was provocation enough these days a pretty big word

The Shape of Water

hed been anxious the film would depart the art house before he had a chance to see it on a big screen

he checked online twice that day to confirm it was playing an was still beside himselfalmost couldnt believe it was still playing as he walked up to the ticket window  A ticket for Water

from behind him his brother-in-law said  Senior

he looked at the young man behind the glassbehind the circular satin anodised no-draft speak-thru  Whats senior

Senior is sixty, sir.

Well  got that beat

Couldn’t tell by looking at you, sir. Eight dollars, please.

Deal  Thank you

The Shape of Water is in theatre number two, sir.

Thank you again

You’re welcome, sir

Youre a polite sonofabitch arent you

I am, sir.

his brother-in-law Fourth Quarter First Time Out stepped up to the plateglass  Senior please  Water

Eight dollars, please, sir.

the transaction concluded they entered

Fourth Quarter First Time Out went to the Refreshments counter for popcorn and a Coke  Anything for you

Naw  I dont want to be distracted by anything  Thank you  he spoke to his backhe turned immediately when he said Nawwhich didnt bother him  Fourth Quarter First Time Out was usually direct an impatient  little things

there was a short line at Refreshments  his brother-in-law turned back to him an he threw a quick thumb up over his shoulderinclined his head mouthed To the can  his brother-in-law nodded

the walls soft amber were painted with film scenes and portraitures of classic Hollywood starswhen the stars were elegant  Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade directed him to the Men’s Room  Lauren Bacall Slim You know how to whistle, don’t you? You just put your lips together and blow. directed women to their Room

the bathrooms fixtures were from the Fifties  if it aint broke dont fix it  a handsome stalwart bathroom  octagon-tiled floor ceramic baseboards bulbous metal fittings that fit nicely in ones hand  the pedestal urinal roared when you flushed it its cake did somersaults you had to be a slob if you missed an pissed on the floor he wondered if slob was provocation enough these days

he joined his brother-in-law in Theatre Two ten rows back dead center  an aisle ran behind them  up from it were two more rows five seats wide  theirs were ten

Would you like some popcorn  his brother-in-law offered

No thank you

they yapped

in about ten the houselights dimmed an short film trailers began  art house fare  he remained astonished that the local cinemas hadnt picked up The Shape of Wateryet he was grateful  he preferred the intimate setting a jazz setting

the film began

it mesmerised him

                  suddenlyonehundredantwentythreeminuteslater  it was over

as the credits began to rollpeople standing he began applauding enthusiastically  he froze the standers  among the three dozen still in their seats they began applauding too  a smattering   then asif he gave permission more began to applaud an those who were standing began applaudingacknowledging the filmtheir intimate witness 

the house filled with applause  an happy voices   

he applauded first he applauded last he was still applauding when Fourth Quarter First Time Out stood upquietly waited

Now that was film he said as he stood

Film  A filmnow that was a film  Fourth said

No  Film  An edifice to Art

Fourth had been a science math teacher  yet he missed that the laboratory was called OCCAM  when problem-solvingcompeting hypothetical answersselect the one with the fewest assumptions  machinery with the fewest moving parts  or otherwise Ockham  William of Ockham  Thomas Aquinass adversarywho struck down his synthesis of faith and reason  Occam Ockham believed a heretic by the Catholic Church a fideist who believed God was a manner of faith not knowledge

the little things

Day-between-Two-Ts evening,  21  2. 18

1256,  Thursday,  22  2. 18

To Have And Have Not  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KY15R3yHBEI