you root around keep your head down staying busy at your work

                                                     then invariably

corporate finds it necessary your performance is judged(by people who arent necessarily the best to say how effective youve been but its part of their job description as your superior(careful!) that they assess your work)    

he missed the days that if you werent doing your job you lost your job no splitting hairs in regards to what you were

or werent doing

              you knew they knew  everything was hands-on   

there were no point-systems or values attached to your how you did your work

once a year you got a raise  at the very least in accord with the cost-of-living index  and if only that then as an employee you could decide should I stay or should I go 

you determined your value

if you were willing to risk your personal evaluation of your worth

Times change

            he was making fortyone percent less than on his last job after being unemployed for three years

he walked into work early as was his regiment and was promptly greeted by the assistant manager who told him that when he did punch-in to please come to the rear office where they could discuss his yearly evaluation 

he said he hadnt worked for the company for a year

the assistant manager replied evaluations were always performed at this time of the year 

okay

he punched in missing the old-fashioned time clocks clatter as he missed the old-fashioned one-arm bandits in casinos  the only physicality required now was to be able to push a button with a single finger  he couldnt wait for the time when the machine read your mind(or it was insinuated it did  --  take what you get!)

the review would likely take ten fifteen minutes

he was on the clock so he supposed what did he care                                                                   

but as he moved to the rear of the business he fronted product making it more visible and sharply aligning it  a feign some might think  he didnt  to suggest the company cared for its appearance  he did 

he had an enduring habit of reminding his employers that while hed be an excellent reflection on the company to the public the company was obliged to be a reflection on him

if he saw anything on the companys face that showed him in a bad light reflected poorly on him they could count on the fact  a barefaced fact  that hed be the first person in their face demanding its correction

employment was a two-way street

a condition of his employment

his assistant manager didnt stand when he entered the rear office or shake his hand

he tried not to hold that against him

he was a different breed  an assistant manager in name only 

the manager was a manager in name only 

Corporate finagled everything from afar  managed inventory advertising touting a down-home local sensibility for the business brand but ill-representing local product

their overarching managerial structure was spread too thin the responsibilities and assigned regions were too large too large geographically for one man(or woman  --  though there were no women)

his management team did exactly what they were told

he told his manager that he preferred to stand when he offered him a chair

Cant imagine this will take too long I havent been here long enough to truly evidence my capabilities nor reflect your talent being founded in me

he agreed there was little time to truly assess him but they were required to submit an evaluation of his performance

On with it then he said

from a personnel folder with his name on it his manager produced several computer-generated pages that were broken by boldface headings with a matrix under them

he groaned

Not KPIs

Excuse me

KPIs  Key performance indicators

No  KPMs  Key performance matrices

A rose is a rose is a rose or by any other name it would smell as sweet

Shakespeare  Romeo and Juliet

Im not following

I suppose it isnt necessary you do                                                                                                        

I have an aversion to human resource indices statistical measurements though I would readily admit any attempt to quantify qualify us also creates work and jobs

An attempt to validate worth

If worth has to be validated

I think you can understand appreciate it is necessary

he smiled

Frankly we havent time to digress

Someone somewhere down the line sold this bill-of-goods so far-flung entities could ascertain their employees anonymous performance

Youd admit the talleys well discuss are subjective

Subjective

As to objective

I dont follow

Its manipulation  I fantasize a pyramid of puppets and puppets above pulling puppet-strings of underlings

A tantalizing crazy cats cradle  Though it is impossibly vertical  Another conception might be a house-of-cards watching for its inevitable collapse or for it to be consumed and shuffled in among other decks

Okay  Maybe we can get started

Fine by me

later . . .

        I dont want to put too fine a point on it but if the scale I am referred against is from one-point-zero to five-point-zero and no one has ever been rated above four-point-zero it should top out at four-point-zero because virtually no one will ever be better than eighty percent  

Accordingly to my school experience seventyeight to eightythree percent was a C

And thats important why

It ought to be important to you One of the KPMs which blows my mind that it even exists  virtually commonsense  any employee who cant follow it ought not to be able to hold their job

Which KPM

Availability and Punctuality  First I disagree the two should be conjoined We  we employees  dont set our availability yourself management assigns us our schedules  Second if ones not punctual cant be counted on to meet their obligation they shouldnt be employed by the company

Finally the fine point I want to point out is this 

If on the companys one to five point scale  and you have professed I am always early to work which you insist is much-appreciated  and I have never been late  how is it possible am I rated three-point-five 

By your own assessment by my log-ins matrix my attendance and promptness Im perfect

Im not even given four-point-zero which you have say is the highest possible rate one can achieve    

Eighty percent according to corporates scale

I cant imagine no one has ever taken issue with that proposition

You must recognise  dont you

Im diminished

Despite perfect attendance

maybe I should have taken the chair he offered at the beginning of the interview 

standing up above him looking down on him might have seemed as if I staged it  --  not that I knew what he was going to say  --  or adversarial

he briefly made eye contact then asked what I expected him to do

I told him I expected hed note my file  make an addendumb(thats how I saw it in my eyes as I said it) and if he was unsure at the end with his wording  I hadnt minced my words it shouldnt be hard to recount them  I would sincerely appreciate him sharing it with me before he closed the book on it

he said he was confident

Good  I said

            Because I know where you live

1515,  Monday,  4  4. 16

 1259,  Saturday,  30  4. 16

while you read play Fred Friths Gravity: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ARXsaNN2Os

Ill admit

        from the outside looking in

looking in through the imperfect glass panes of 1898  the Hotel Connor  inscribed on the keystone above its entry

that she appeared a trick of their optiks

she seemed to be two people slipped inside one

in the attitude she held her head

flickering in the gentle canvas of her face

she was a very old woman in the desert 

she could have been immaterial  a mirage              

she worked the hotels elaborate soda counter pleasing tourists and locals alike

afterwards

           my friend I was traveling with said

I wonder if she was just so good and beautiful on the inside that the outside of her was pure grace

Grace

        hed never witnessed grace and the thought was too delectable to ignore

I excused myself

               Ill be back Wanna get a pack of cigarettes before the shops close

she said she wanted to shower so shed enjoy the privacy

despite the temptation to exit buy enough time then return mid-shower I told Id give her an hour or so to luxuriate    

                                                                                         Mebbe

Ive always had a hankering for wet naked women

she had no idea the gentleman I was forcing myself to be

never did see her naked

later I wrote her admitting so  admitting my regret

she wrote back and said she regretted my gentlemanly way too

                                                                                                                                                  Gawddammit

I returned to the Connor

the ruddy sunset played in the glass panes

still I could distinctly see her fascinating dichotomy  her vacillating expressions running seamlessly over each other

I wanted to see grace close up 

I went inside

she said her name was Rose

Of course it is

            How is a Japanese woman named Rose

I made it American  My given name is difficult to read or say  It refers to a flower

Your parents were correct

other customers entered  they knew what they wanted

I urged her to help them

                    Im still looking (at her)

I dont know how the family she waited on didnt see the roiling in her face see her four eyes her two noses two mouths

when their drinks were filled the tab paid they sat on stools before the bar and paid no more attention to her

Rose approached me where I stood near the darkening glass panes I watched her visages marble overlay each other like fronds of seaweed in a gentle tide

she asked if I had decided

No Im still thinking

she smiled

          both her faces smiled mischievously as if they were keen I was aware of them

then Rose was hesitant to leave

perhaps because she imagined Id decide and wanted to save herself the steps to return

                                                                       her faces turned subtly almost mockingly in opposite directions  a slender panel of flesh bookended by ears revealed my dull reflection in it as if it were cast in a bleak Funhouse carnival mirror

I blinked once

before they returned me their insouciant gaze

not arresting on me

passing through me as light through a prism

I felt a cool shiver up my spine

Rose I said on second thought I think Ill forego a beverage just pick up a pack of smokes as was my original intention

she smiledtheysmiled acknowledging me



she was just so good and beautiful on the inside that the outside of her was pure grace . . .

A pack of Camel straights I said to the clerk manning the tobacco and magazine kiosk

I turned my back to the counter leaned against it and looking across the sparse lobby I watched Rose as she was closing the soda fountain

she was deliberate  moved slow  as if her body were underwater and her movements were inhibited by its density physics  they were not informed by either her age or tethered to her diminutive stature 

they seemed it piqued in him an assured permanence

                                                            Immortality 

did he really think she was immortal

her head gone gray

she was vital

Thatll be ninefifty the clerk said over his shoulder astonishing him that he was still standing in the Connor

he made a noise in his throat as if he were parched

                                          Yahnine fifty

turning to the young man his hand in his pants pocket at folded bills he saw there were pints of liquor on shelves lower to the floor

          A pint of Jack too  Please

Jack too   Here you go Twentytwo fifty

Thank you Worked here long

Summers three summers now

Deserts a bitch of a place to work summers

This ghost town thrives in summer Almost can feel the copper miners whores and greed playing

Whaat  You sayin Nearer My God

GOD  God showed here once upon a time hed have to kill for credit  You know this was the wealthiest mine anywhere Can you imagine Smackdaub in the middle of a desert Who the hell ever thought to look here

Indians lived here

They acclimated to the desert over hundreds of years

Hardier sorts in those days And incentivised by money Lusted Turn off the airconditioning now and the exodus would pop like a Fourth of July bottlerocket outa here

It would

he tipped his head towards the fountain  You familiar with Rose there

Only in passing  For being an older woman shes beautiful  

My friend says its grace Her inward beauty externalized

Dont know her  Though a bit of a fixture I understand

Any idea how long shes been here

Forever some say

Forever  Thanks

You bet  Have a good evening

he walked away and walking he looked back across the lobby and saw the fountain was closed  dark

Rose evaporated

he pocketed the cigarettes untwisted the bottle cap and took a thoughtful sip never once taking his eye off the precise workworked fountain the curious shaped glass reminiscent of an apothecary

he saw them overlayed rinsed through Roses misty undulating features

something akin he thought roiling inside a crystal ball

it touched by a breath from the other side

       

1506,  Thursday,  28  4. 16

 1157,  Friday,  29 4. 16