she tipped him off on hungry ghostsdidnt tell him that Chinese Taoists Confucians celebrate festivals to real hungry ghosts    he misunderstood that that she was meaning figuratively  not literallyhandsdown agrees there is permeable boundary between living and dead that that remembrance  expressed through ritual celebration  shapes both worlds 

   shapes  both worlds

                                        he couldnt begin to count the number of times he was refuted

every time shook his head with pity

                                        Wha a miserable life you must be leading

she was a goodlookin woman 

still  had no problem offending her

I must be leading?Ghosts?  How feeble.

Feeble

                Ghosts

Youre Catholic

You just kiss off a third of your Board of Directorsbad enough majority of Congress is submissivelove to takeem home abusefuckem blind with dildoes an vibrators

                                                                           saying so thought of a slatheredrack of barbecued pork ribs

    he astonished her

she stood there with her mouth open

to confess

            he had a hafamind to pop his cock into her agape mouthkeep her tongue company

                                                                                                      Come here often

                                                                                smacksmack  delicious

 

 

shrugged  Tryin to give ya some leeway

Ghosts.

Have you read much about consciousness William James   philosophyhe was a philosopher but at the time considered himself a psychologistthe practice too evolved now to be able to think of him other than a philosopher

              Religions  Philosophies

 

Not muc . .

. . Therefore  you shoud be widespreadpeeledopen to  ideas   Things outside the realm outside the box  A matter of critical thinking  Innocent until proven guilty  

Your point.

Spotlight consciousness

                           Child psychologist Alison Gopnik Read of her  I read a lot

A focused goal-oriented consciousness  Narrow  Typical of adult problem-solving  task execution

Mine  Characteristic of a child

                                  Lantern consciousness

Broad      

Open

Exploratory

             Taking in all surroundings  equally   to learn

Zip dogmas

As science as sentience I believe  shoud be

 

Shaky ground.

So you wont readdespite  despite me consistently putting books in your hands that youve read an enjoyed

Bat eater?

And other names for Cora Zeng  A novel    Playtime

                                                                     Open your mind 

Hungry ghosts.

Bat eater.

    Jah

1417,  Tuesday,  31  3. 26

https://www.history.com/articles/hungry-ghost-festival-facts-history   

https://psychology.berkeley.edu/people/alison-gopnik

Return of the Chinese Femme  poet Dorothy Chang  https://www.tupeloquarterly.com/editors-feature/reclaiming-glamour-defying-gaze-a-conversation-with-dorothy-chan-on-return-of-the-chinese-femme-curated-by-darius-phelps/

Because a writer should riot 

“Because is it even a revolution if it does not romp?”

                                                       Divya Victor  https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/divya-victor

You wasn't trying, you was sitting on diamonds/Mm (diamonds)   Raye  Hard Out There

    sitting on diamonds

in context of the song https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AtTgBoUfiuQ  she accuses someone of holding out   . . . you wasn’t trying you was sitting on diamonds

when first he listened to it without the lyrics before him he had misunderstood her

                                                                                    his misunderstanding 

upbeat

not that hes an optimistwasnt a pessimist  a realist?  shook ivory  tossedem  gaveem a roll  thirtysix possibilities

             So get off the pot, what do you call yourself?

Random

           See whaswha went the bones stop  lay still

Lifes a crapshoot

 

now if he were a proper entitled white man   

life wouldnt be a crapshoot

                            be one entitled day cascading after another until  inevitably  cruel stopgaps physical accidents bodily failings

but theyre not as cruel if moneyed 

but money doesnt afford everything

                                         visit a cemetery  a potters field   a mass grave

Where

Out there  Somewhere    Pieces we like to think well go out as we came in an entity   not promised

    disparate

served with others on moldy charcuterie boards

That’s fuckin’ dark. Pessimistic.

 

Dark

Tellin the truth

One of thirtysix random possibilities

Im a thirtysixer

               And not to lose the string  Hard Out There  I mistook sitting on diamonds  Had imagined a truffle pig rutting for morsels for treasure experiences  to explore examine share

not sitting on the earth

a dumb extruded clod

    theres unmined gold diamonds quiet parked under your fanny

                                                                         No shrugsgot no shovel

Ya got hands

1238,  Monday,  30  3. 26

    epipphany twistingup his spine like a climbingvine

                                                                  It’s not.

No

It’s not.

 

Ifnotthenwha

    Recognition.

                    You’ve laid the groundworkset the trap. That which eludes is just dumb luck.

If following the scent.

Would have walked right in.

 

Youre saying she walked in  maybe not knowingly    but      compelled

she smiled

You like compelled

I do.

        You’re not attractive but you are compellingit works for you.

I wouldn’t recommend it.

Not epiphany  Recognition

Not attractive

                     Compelling

    Almost make me feel I havent a lot going on for myself

 

Oh.  Fuck.  You the way you carry on.

                                            You haven’t a modest bone in your body.

A human xylophone, touch you tap you rap you.

                                                       You emit rich, vibrant, honest tones.

Many inappropriately.

There, your immodesty plays to your benefit.

In your case au naturel.

If you were brilliant, possibly contrive.

                                              But you’re not.

 

Ill say this for you

    What’s that?

You describe me tit for tat

                        No.

That’s how you describe yourself.

                                      A coin.

Aspects meldedmeltedcreamed.

Heads. Tails.

                   A heavy sliver.

Whatever it lands its immediately overshadowed . . dusted . . . . by its extreme oneeighty . . which then . . . should make one pause . . before . engaging . . . your proposition.

Theres wher . .

. . Save it.

                 I am not wrong.   Matryoshki.

What appears a broad stroke, examined, reveals it a composite, composition, of its individual hairs, fibers.

    You give me more credit than Im due

 

Not one modest bone in your body.

Your assuredness is exciting, attractive.

But not my fac . .

. . No.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oqJ0JpMj6I  epiphany  he hadnt ever seen the video   smacked of his girlfriend

1516,  Sunday,  29  3. 26

0634,  Monday,  30  3. 26

Edwyn Collins  A Girl Like You  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oqJ0JpMj6I   

Nina Simone  Feelin’ Good  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5Y11hwjMNs

https://princetonbrush.com/blog/types-of-paint-brushes-a-guide-to-choosing-the-right-brush-shape/

pointing to their face  wristrolling their right index counterclockwise before it

                                                                                       What’s that?

A lewd grin

    Lewd.

It is.   It is very lewd.

                            You been working on it?

Nah

         Ive earned it

 

   Earned?

Jah

         Got people jumpinthrough hoops    Which  I had an idea but coudnt have imagined

    All in all to save themselvesthey hope   pain

Lightweights

 

People.

Ohfuckjah  More than a few

                                  Feel like Im selling Girl Scout cookiesrather cornered the marketselling briskly  everything disappearing into the rearview sideview mirrors

                                                                            Whardyago

 

 

Are you going to say?

    Im gonna say  coarse cloth

Coarse

 

Cloth

 

Cryptic, man.

Not reallynot at all

Whas happened to me

Forced whas happenedhave forced everyones hand

                                                         Coarse cloth

Spit in Tolkiens eye  Phonaesthetics

                                              And

Something Im givin wide berth while swingin shingl . .

. . The grin your grin this is about that?

Jah

         Panicked yall an in turn ya panicked others

Like touching a Strike-Anywhere Ohio Blue Tip to a twisted wick  it creeps  along  then   suddenlybursts   A conflagration

   

    I only told you

                           I witnessed a veritable visible visceral telephone tree

Wha a treat

 

By your expression . . . terribly humored.

nodded

 

Despite you sufferin . .

. . Don get carried away

    Suffering pain.  Electric nerve pain welts oozing blisters struggling to sleep.  Exhaustion.

nodded

 

 

You grin. You nod.

                         Funny?

 

    Oh definitely worth the price of admission

1140,  Saturday,  28  3. 26

2044,  Sunday,  29  3. 26

Raye  It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXYotcnYF2Q

   hes     shes  back   and dazzling

                                             liknowleum

outdid themselves

fluid transitions  face into the seamrotating left out of it then an obscene introduction into a huge headed lumpyheaded ugly profile at the characters cock nudging it with their nose licking the jeanzipper

                        truly breathtaking transition

like watching cinema

                         facing into the seam jaw neck left trapezoid clothed bicep bent elbow back hint of his round ass forearm trousers opened waist peeled downtight to back of thighs

                                                                                     urinatingnext  moment

pants upcinched turned leftstepping away jawline line of throat into a vneck pullover thrusted chest belly waistSTOP  head   nudging

                                  head tips up

eyes meet

    licks zipper

pretty damn sure if he keeps watching head will gobble cock

                                                                         while a voyeur

homosexualsex

                      not his forte

characters dissolve

   liknowleum

outdid themselves    

222preferred,  Sunday,  29  3. 26

I’m not sexually attracted to you.

                                         Have you ever? he fumbledfretted his heart like string instrument

this wasnt good

came out of thin air

had been nothing sexual in their preceding comments

I apologise

               You have me at a disadvantage

Wha   sexual attractio . .

. . No.

           None.

    Ill need a bigger aperture   Unless this is you venting

Venting angry humiliated incredulous.

 

 

That’s what she told me.

She

Please.

    Deduce.

Logic  

          On thin legs

Im not interested in guessing so say

    Janelle.

 

Why didnt you just say Janelle said shes not sexually attrac . .

. . Maybe.  Maybe I was trying to elicit some sympathy.

No

       Zero none

I told you tha   wha five years agoshes reiterated ad nauseum    Shes a friend

Im a friend

You’re a dude.

Id lose tha

              Not fond

Im not fond you’re not more sympathetic.

Five years asshole  Five

                            How thick ya got to be

Friend

Maybe . . wishful thinking.

OhChrist

               Not since a boy have I wished for anything

Seriously

Seriously. We think of ourselves as sexually appealing, alluring.

Now

            Brother  That ships sailed

    Seriously

Do you have to say it like that?

 

    I     I cant       I cant believe yaint pullin my leg

You don’t think of yourself sexually appealing?

I do not

             Ive better things to do with my time

 

I have a hard time believing that.

Wake up

              Smell the roses

Arya tha vain

high noon,  Saturday,  28  3. 26

0744,  Sunday,  29  3. 26

Carly Simon  You’re So Vain  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HTZGvaE_oM

Zingo  ZingoZingo    Zingo

wakeneddazednearlydumped out of the sack  Steady as she goes captain

                                                                                           Steady

    question no sooner out of his mouth https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvOPucs7dC0 what command had he he grabbed himself between the legs   he  he     Hehe   he made himself nervous

First Mate

Sir

Steady

As requested captain

Excellent into his hand Excellent

                                   First Mate

Sir

     Zingo

Unavoidable sir

                  Was on us through us before we could react

Neural

Yay captain Nervous system

                                  On us Through us

Can evasion be set

Advised not sir   No sir

he nodded

              Then beset we are

Sir

      Unfortunately yes sir

Youre a good sailor

I    I  I understand the realityour  reality       Sir

Musing

Accepting   

             Sir

Play the cards were dealt

                             Take the bull by the horns

    Appears sir  well be unable to

                                         Other than takinem

he laughed

                 Sounded defiant

Sir Defiant is best we can offer

    Yay

Yay sir

0215,  Sunday,  29  3. 26

was ambitious code for she went to bed

woke by fire at 10:20 code for sonofabitch could have brought home crabs  instead of shingles

while seeking ease in a hot bath she wondered what their son thought of her husbands text regarding his singularly failure    shamefully seduced by a coed

 

by the PIs count he singularlyspectacularly failed twentythree times

a strictlyworded text their son wouldnt read between the lines goddamn short story writers

he concluded

   Why.

 Love, Papa

 

 

she concluded

   Why

    Love

    Papa?

        code for somewhat temporarily disfigured she arranged her lessons lectures remote  her office hours sprawled  until she would leavehopefully threefour weeks code for she really didnt think God had that bad a hard-on for her besmirching one of his centaur studs

                                                                         a God can believe in a god

Saturday,  28  3. 26

0640,  Sunday,  29  3. 26